Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, mowing the grass, changing the cat’s litter tray, etc are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.
Within every language, there are many dialects. If you have a spouse with Acts of Service as her primary love language, find the specific things she would like to you help her with by asking her. If you are the person with that specific love language, make a list for your spouse of the things that would help you most.
Remember: love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
Learning the love language of acts of service will require some of us to re-examine our stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives. Our actions are influenced by the model of our parents, our own personality, our perception of love, and our emotions, needs, and desires. Only one thing is certain about our behaviour: It will not be the same behaviour we exhibited when we were caught up being ‘in love’.
A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary in order to express love more effectively. Remember, there are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes, but there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of your spouse.