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Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

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38 Different Types of Trauma

April 10, 2023 By Nathalie Himmelrich 2 Comments

Trauma

The other day I received a request from a potential guest for the How to Deal With Grief and Trauma podcast. The first 3 lines from his email sufficed to create a shock response as the content traumatized me just by reading it. It started with ‘Imagine…’ followed by a short description of the horrific, ritualistic, and sadistic childhood trauma the person had experienced.

Yes, simple words in a couple of lines are enough to traumatize the reader. Why is that?

Table of Contents

  • Trauma happens on different levels
    • Who was affected by this traumatic event?
    • What happens to people affected by trauma?
  • Type of trauma (traumatic events)
  • Duration of trauma: Acute versus chronic emotional trauma
  • Small ‘t’ versus Large ‘T’
  • More articles to come on:

Trauma happens on different levels

Trauma does not just happen to the person experiencing it. It also happens to the person seeing it happen (witnessing by sight), or the person hearing it happen (witnessing by sound).

It does not even require the words ‘imagine this…’ – the brain automatically makes an internal image of what has been shared.

Take for example the events taking place on 9/11 – a historical event etched in the memory of every human being on the planet who was old enough to hear it and connected in some form or other to the world news. Even just referring to an event with a number (9/11) will bring up memories of where you were that day, who you were with, and what you did.

Who was affected by this traumatic event?

  • People directly at the different scenes of events (Twin Towers, Pentagon, etc)
  • Friends and family members of those people
  • Rescue teams, news reporters, medical care teams, etc
  • People watching the news
  • People hearing from those who were at the scene
  • People hearing from those who watched the news

Not all people who COULD be affected by a traumatic event
are necessarily affected,
and not likely in the same way.

What happens to people affected by trauma?

Depending on the level of involvement and closeness to the trauma, people either go into a full trauma response or a milder version. Immediate reactions after a traumatic event include shock and denial, while more long-term reactions may include mood swings, relationship challenges, flashbacks, and physical symptoms. These responses may be concerning to the person experiencing them and those around them, but they are normal responses to traumatic events.

People have different reactions to traumatic events. For example, those who live through the same natural disaster can respond very differently despite experiencing the same event.

Type of trauma (traumatic events)

Traumatic events include (but are not limited to):

  • Child abuse
  • Child neglect
  • Bullying
  • Being attacked
  • Being kidnapped
  • Harassment
  • Physical abuse
  • Domestic violence
  • Violence in the community
  • Natural disasters
  • Medical trauma
  • Sexual abuse
  • Sex trafficking
  • Substance use
  • Intimate partner violence
  • Verbal abuse
  • Accidents
  • War
  • Refugee trauma
  • Terrorism
  • Traumatic grief
  • Intergenerational trauma
  • Childbirth

Even a seemingly positive event such as childbirth can be traumatic, depending on the circumstances!

Duration of trauma: Acute versus chronic emotional trauma

Traumatic events can be isolated or repeated, ongoing events. A person can also experience trauma after witnessing something (by sight or sound) traumatic happening to someone else.

Trauma can either be physical or emotional. Physical trauma is a serious bodily injury. Emotional trauma is the emotional response to a disturbing event or situation.

 More specifically, emotional trauma can be either acute or chronic, as follows:

  • Acute emotional trauma is the emotional response that happens during and shortly after a single distressing event.
  • Chronic emotional trauma is a long-term emotional response a person experiences from prolonged or repeated distressing events that span months or years. Additionally, complex emotional trauma is the emotional response associated with multiple different distressing events that may or may not be intertwined.

Small ‘t’ versus Large ‘T’

Small ‘t’ traumas are events that exceed our capacity to cope and cause a disruption in emotional functioning. These distressing events are not inherently life or bodily-integrity-threatening, but perhaps better described as ego-threatening due to the individual left feeling notable helplessness. Some examples include:

  • Interpersonal conflict
  • Infidelity
  • Divorce
  • Abrupt or extended relocation
  • Legal trouble
  • Financial worries or difficulty
  • etc.

A large-T trauma is distinguished as an extraordinary and significant event that leaves the individual feeling powerless and possessing little control over their environment. Such events could take the form of, for example:

  • Natural disaster
  • Terrorist attack
  • Sexual assault
  • Combat
  • Car accident
  • Plane accident
  • Childhood ritualist abuse
  • etc.

Helplessness is also a key factor of large ‘T’ traumas, and the extent of experienced helplessness is far beyond that of a small ‘t’ trauma. Large ‘T’ traumas are more readily identified by the experiencer, as well as those who have any familiarity with their plight.

These might be 38 types of trauma but the list is not complete.

More articles to come on:

  • trauma symptoms
  • trauma-informed care
  • trauma in childhood
  • healing from trauma
  • complex trauma

Image by Unsplash.com

Filed Under: trauma, grief support, sexual trauma Tagged With: acute emotional trauma, childhood trauma, chronic emotional trauma, chronic PTSD, large t, large trauma, PTSD, small t, small trauma, trauma, trauma response, war

Sarah Stillman on How Dealing With Trauma Does Not Prevent But Helps Prepare For Future Trauma | Episodes 34 and 35

April 3, 2023 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 


Table of Contents

  • Episodes 34
  • Episodes 35
  • About this week’s guest
  • Topics discussed in this episode
    • Part One
    • Part Two
  • Resources mentioned in this episode
  • Links

Episodes 34

Episodes 35

Sarah Stillman

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Sarah Stillman, who suffered preeclampsia and concealed placental abruption which led to the stillbirth of her first son. Having been sexually assaulted earlier on in her life in a medical environment, she was very clear about needing to take charge of her medical care to avoid further traumatization. Unfortunately, the developments her pregnancy experienced leading to emergency care, resulted in her experiencing more trauma.

We had such a rich conversation that this became a double episode. Make sure you listen to the second part which is going to be published a week after this in which we dive much deeper into the topic of pregnancy after loss and how to deal with the trauma of sexual assault.     

About this week’s guest

Sarah is one of Nathaniel’s two mamas (yes, he has two moms)! Nathaniel is Sarah and Amy’s firstborn son conceived through IVF with a traumatic ending in severe early-onset preeclampsia, placental abruption, emergency C-section, a brief NICU stay, and death within his mother’s arms. Sarah took to grieving, finding out what happened, and planning for future pregnancy like a full-time job, and in the midst of the uncertainty and haze of grief, identified resources that helped answer critical questions. In honor of her son, she created whenmybabydied.com which aims to offer families a centralized resource hub of information and answers for the question no parent ever thought they’d have to find. Sarah is currently pregnant with Nathaniel’s sibling who is expected to be born in April 2023. She lives with her wife, two dogs, and Nathaniel’s warrior spirit in Central Massachusetts.

Check out Sarah’s links:

  • When My Baby Died

Topics discussed in this episode

Part One

  • Early miscarriage, appendicitis operation during subsequent pregnancy, preeclampsia leading to the stillbirth of her son Nathaniel
  • Prior sexual assault trauma leading to challenges in medical care during pregnancy
  • Loss and trauma
  • Secondary losses following a stillbirth

Part Two

  • Empty arm syndrome
  • Being pregnant after a stillbirth
  • Sexual assault
  • The effect of prior trauma on pregnancy
  • Grieving the loss of having planned for a healing event when it turns into a new trauma

Resources mentioned in this episode

  • EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
  • Grieving Parents Support Network

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Filed Under: podcast, child loss, counselling, gender/sexuality, grief support, grief/loss, grieving parents, health, sexual trauma, sexuality/intimacy, trauma Tagged With: child loss, concealed placental abruption, grief, grief and loss, grief support, grieving, grieving parents, IUI, IVF, loss, medical abuse, relationship, same sex parents, sexual abuse, sexual assault

Ana Vick on the Importance of Stillbirth Prevention | Episode 33

March 28, 2023 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 

Ana Lepe Vick

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Ana Vick about the trauma of stillbirth and pregnancy loss. Ana believes in the importance of stillbirth prevention during pregnancy. Having experienced the trauma of pregnancy loss multiple times, and finding out more about Owen’s reason for death helped her move from self-blame and shame and gave her some sort of closure. This allowed Ana to turn her story into meaningful advocacy to support others not having to experience what she had.  

Table of Contents

  • About this week’s guest 
  • Topics discussed in this episode
  • Resources mentioned in this episode
  • Links

About this week’s guest 

Ana Lepe Vick is a maternal health advocate and stillbirth rights activist who grew up in the Bay Area and is a recent North Carolina transplant. She is a wife and mother of 3, known as Still My Son on social media where she finds support and inspiration to continue pushing for change in memory of her middle son, Owen Nathaniel, and all babies gone too soon. Owen was unexpectedly born still at almost 32 weeks of a perfect “textbook” pregnancy via crash c-section. She also suffered miscarriages before and after Owen’s death so she’s no stranger to the trauma of pregnancy loss. Although she would much rather have her son in her arms, she proudly parents Owen through her activism and role as Co-Director of Communications of PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy (a stillbirth prevention non-profit she helped found with other bereaved families in 2021). As part of the Count the Kicks Influencer Advisory Board she leads targeted efforts to outreach to Spanish-speaking communities because every parent deserves to know how to protect their baby through fetal movement education. She is the Social Media Lead for the SHINE for Autumn Act, which is a bill she hopes will be passed soon for the U.S. to start making a systemic change to prevent stillbirths. In addition, Ana is helping to spread “Womb Wisdom” through her new educational platform, Sacred Birth Circle, where she interviews maternal health experts & birthing parents to help families be better informed about their pregnancy and birth journeys. She will always wish her family could be complete, but she’s thankful she can keep her son’s memory alive while saving babies in his honor. 

Check out Ana’s links:

  • Instagram Still My Son and Sacred Birth Circle 

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The stillbirth of her son Owen 
  • The trauma of pregnancy loss
  • The importance of stillbirth prevention during pregnancy
  • Knowing the reason for Owen’s death helped Ana move from guilt and gave her some sort of closure

Resources mentioned in this episode

  • Push Pregnancy
  • SHINE for Autumn Act 
  • Count the Kicks

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Filed Under: podcast, child loss, grief support, grief/loss, loss of sibling, parenting, trauma Tagged With: bereaved parents, count the kicks, push for change, push for empowered pregnancy, stillbirth, stillbirth advocacy, stillbirth prevention

Estelle Thompson on How Art and Yoga Saved My Life | Episode 32

March 20, 2023 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Estelle Thompson
Estelle Thompson

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self-funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 


Today on the podcast I am speaking with Estelle Thompson, who has been an inspiration for me for years. We’ve met on Instagram as part of a yearly event called May We All Heal which I started in 2015 and gave grieving mothers a creative outlet and an avenue to share with others. Estelle has a way of using art and yoga in her healing journey that drew me in and it was an honor for me to be speaking with her. Here is someone who can laugh while crying, who exemplifies living with the paradox of living a creative life while holding the gift of what death has brought her.  

Table of Contents

  • About this week’s guest 
  • Topics discussed in this episode
  • Resources mentioned in this episode 
  • Links

About this week’s guest 

Estelle Thomson, M.A. in Counselling Psychology is a leading yoga teacher and educator in the intersecting fields of expressive arts, embodied movement, and psychology. With over ten years of experience, her work explores the relationship between breath, body, emotions, imagination, and play. Estelle is a faculty member of Quantum University, internationally recognized for offering online courses and graduate degree programs in holistic, alternative, natural, and integrative medicine. Estelle leads numerous lectures, workshops, and retreats locally and internationally.

Estelle’s links: Website | Instagram

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Giving birth prematurely and the unexpected death of her son Tommy Tinker when he was just 2 years old 
  • Art and yoga saved her life
  • Writing for grief
  • Change of identity
  • How to use creativity

Resources mentioned in this episode 

  • Grieving Parents Support Network (FB page) and May We All Heal event and peer support group.
  • Tommy Tinker Forever Documentary
  • Estelle’s Retreats

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Filed Under: podcast, child loss, creative healing, grief support, grief/loss, grieving parents, parenting, self development/motivation, spirituality, trauma, writing Tagged With: art and yoga, creative healing, grief, grief and loss, grieving a child, grieving parents, yoga for healing, yoga saved my life

Lisa Bolton on It is Never Too Late to Mourn Your Losses | Episode 31

March 13, 2023 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Lisa Bolton
Lisa Bolton

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 


 Today on the podcast I am speaking with Lisa Bolton who experienced multiple losses in her life. She talks about dealing with loss after loss, the intense grieving bringing her to the brink of suicide, and the pivotal importance of her support system. She says: Without support, you can’t go through it. In her case, she had her church and a group of mothers who all had lost children through a drug overdose. In making her loss meaningful, Lisa beautifully describes how she allows her daughter to live through her. Another really important part of our conversation dealt with the topic of comparing losses, especially in the case of blended families dealing with losses on both sides, and the importance of relational support within the family. 

Table of Contents

  • About this week’s guest 
  • Topics discussed in this episode
  • Resources mentioned in this episode
  • Links

About this week’s guest 

Originally from New Jersey, Lisa now lives in Florida. After having been married for 25 years, she divorced and later remarried. She is a mother to 3 biological children, 2 stepchildren, and one foster child, but she considers them all hers. She has been an Early Childhood Administrator for almost 40 years. A few years ago, she also became a Stillbirth Doula, Support Group Facilitator, and Grief Counselor for adults, children, and adolescents. Her grief journey began 34 years ago when she lost her first-born son to a miscarriage. 30 years later she lost her rainbow baby, her beautiful 26-year-old daughter to an overdose of heroin laced with fentanyl. In between those losses, she also lost her wonderful 18-year-old stepdaughter to a rare autoimmune disease. Everything she does is in memory of her children: carrying on their legacies, making sure their names are said and their deaths are not in vain. They all mattered, and while making sure they live on she is also trying to heal her own heart while helping others to heal theirs. 

Check out Lisa’s links here: The Dandelion Project: Facebook – Email

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Multiple losses: Pregnancy loss of her son DJ, loss of her daughter in 2019 and stepdaughter in 2015
  • Dealing with the most intense days of grief, suicidal tendencies, and the vital importance of support
  • Comparing losses in a blended family situation
  • Expressive versus cognitive ways of grieving, and cultural differences in grieving
  • How to incorporate the memory of her children into her own life

Resources mentioned in this episode

  • Podcast episode – Parents reflecting on grief and loss 11 years after
  • TEARS Foundation Florida Chapter  
  • The FRoM Project Inc supports grieving parents who have lost a child to a substance use disorder, addiction, overdose, or fentanyl poisoning.
  • Picking Up The Pieces works to reduce or prevent the harms of alcohol and other drug use through education, intervention, and advocacy.

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Filed Under: podcast, child loss, grief support, grief/loss, grieving parents, love/relationship/marriage, trauma Tagged With: accidental drug overdose, child loss, creating a legacy, drug overdose, grief, grief support, grieving a child, grieving parents, making meaning

Katherine Lazar on a Mission to Help You Find Light in the Darkness after Loss | Episode 30

March 6, 2023 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 


Katherine Lazar

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Katherine Lazar who lost her son Brody in a late-term stillbirth just a year ago during her first pregnancy. She knew early on that she needed to speak with other moms who had experienced what she had. Katherine felt the importance of finding people that had the same grief vibe. The conversations with these women turned into her podcast At a Total Loss. From helping herself cope, the podcast was a way to reach others and helped them to cope with their losses. 

Table of Contents

  • About this week’s guest 
  • Topics discussed in this episode
  • Resources mentioned in this episode
  • Links

About this week’s guest 

Katherine Lazar currently lives in Atlanta, GA in the US and is married to the love of her life, Brody’s dad, Michael. When she was 37 weeks pregnant, her precious son died and was stillborn. The sorrow following his death almost killed her. Conversations with other loss moms saved her. She decided to record them and put them out for others to hear. If they helped her feel less alone, maybe they could help others. She’s so proud to have created this in Brody’s honor and to give other mothers a platform to talk about their babies. Finding my purpose has helped her in so many ways, and she is a big believer in helping others do the same with real talk and honesty about life after loss. 

They are currently expecting their second child and navigating the world of pregnancy after loss is a whole new battle. However, Katherine has spent a lot of time putting in the work with grief therapy & trauma recovery, surrounding herself with good people, having a great support system, and amazing doctors this time around. She feels ready for whatever comes her way. 

She misses her son every day and knows that she will see him again someday. Until then, she will continue to tell her story, be very open about her journey, and help other loss mothers find light in the dark.

Check out Katherine’s links here: Website | Instagram | YouTube

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Late-term stillbirth of her son Brody
  • Birth trauma
  • Finding relief in speaking with others who had experienced stillbirth
  • Helping herself cope lead to starting a podcast to help others
  • Differences in grieving: the instrumental and emotional way of grieving

Resources mentioned in this episode

  • Katherine’s Podcast At a Total Loss
  • May We All Heal – a peer support group for grieving parents
  • Podcast episode – Parents reflecting on grief and loss 11 years after

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

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