What Shall I Write When A Baby Has Died?

November 26, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

What Shall I Write When A Baby Has Died?

Writing a card for a baby who died? If yes, what shall I write?
I don’t want to upset the parents…

Today, this great and important question reached me by email.

I have a friend who has just given birth to twins very prematurely. One of them was unfortunately born dead and the surviving twin is understandably very ill. I want to send a card to them but also want to congratulate them on the birth of their surviving daughter at the same time acknowledging the death of the other. Any thoughts of a message I could use?

I can only answer from my personal experience and my preferences.
Obviously you should always take cultural, religious and societal differences into consideration when writing a card.
Think about the parents’ situation and not yours (in terms of religion, for example).

Acknowledge the babies and parents

First of all: always acknowledge the babies born, born alive and born still. 

When I gave birth to my twin girls, I loved and appreciated those people who sent me cards congratulating me to twins.

  • “Congratulations to the birth of your [two] daughter, sons, children.”
  • “New parents are being born – congratulations to the birth of [names].”
[Read more…] about What Shall I Write When A Baby Has Died?

Filed Under: coaching, grief/loss Tagged With: baby loss, writing a card

It Is the Relationship Journey That Counts

November 13, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

www.nathaliehimmelrich.com
Your Relationship Journey counts

Today in a client’ session I heard myself say: A happy relationship with your partner might be your goal but it is not the purpose of (relationship) life. Let me explain.

The journey that counts

The famous quote “It’s not the destination but the journey that counts” leaves some questions unanswered:

  • What is on the journey?
  • What specifically counts as part of the journey
  • What does it really mean?

Quotes are nice but often leave a lot to personal interpretation. Let’s have a look at that quote in relation to your relationship life.

Relationship struggles

Whether intimate, casual or relationships with siblings, parents, friends, colleagues, or employers – relationship are seldom easy. Even the best of friends struggle with each other, have misunderstandings or fights.

This is normal and to be expected.

Relationships, and specifically the closer they are, have the potential within themselves to trigger and bring up any unresolved issues.

On your journey with relationship you will encounter struggles, sooner or later, if you are not just leaving any relationship before it gets close enough.[Tweet “Relationship challenges are to be expected”] [Read more…] about It Is the Relationship Journey That Counts

Filed Under: ezinearticle, love/relationship/marriage Tagged With: relationship, relationship struggles

Back by Popular Demand: Love Language Part 4 – Acts of Service

October 22, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Do you know what your partner could use help with?
Do you know what your partner could use help with?

Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, moving the grass, changing the cat’s litter tray, etc are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.

Within every language, there are many dialects. If you have a spouse with Acts of Service as her primary love language, find the specific things she would like to you help her with by asking her. If you are the person with that specific love language, make a list for your spouse with the things that would help you most.

Remember: love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.[Tweet “Find the specific things your partner might need help with”] [Read more…] about Back by Popular Demand: Love Language Part 4 – Acts of Service

Filed Under: back by popular demand, ezinearticle, love/relationship/marriage Tagged With: acts of service, john gottman, love language

Soul Mate or Partner?

October 13, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

It’s your choice, whether to be in a relationship with your soul mate or your partner. Sometimes they are the same, but not always. And that’s ok.

 

Filed Under: love/relationship/marriage Tagged With: elizabeth gilbert, oprah, soulmate, super soul sunday

Surviving Child Loss As a Couple

October 11, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Surviving Loss as a Couple www.reachforthesky.com.auThe loss of a child is without any doubt one of the most challenging experiences I have gone through in my life both personally and in my relationship.

The most important aspect I have found through my survey of more than a hundred people and through interviewing parents one-on-one are:

  • Understanding different ways of grieving
  • Accepting the differences
  • Allowing each other time to grieve.

The 5 steps to survive your loss as a couple

Grief and death are topics that make a lot of people uncomfortable. Since you and I have both experienced the loss of a child, we know this from personal experience. You as a couple have a common source for your experience of loss. Nonetheless, even though the source may be the same, the experience itself can be very different. When, where, and how the experience differs is the point at which you need to keep working with each other to stay connected.[Tweet “What do you really know about your partner’s way of grieving?”] [Read more…] about Surviving Child Loss As a Couple

Filed Under: ezinearticle, grief/loss Tagged With: grieving parents, loss of a child

Back by Popular Demand Series: Love Language Part 3 – Receiving Gifts

September 26, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

gift
Is it gifts you are craving as displays of love?

A gift is something that you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me,” or “She remembered me.” You must be thinking of someone to give a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter if it costs money.

Gifts need not to expensive, nor must they be given weekly. But for some individuals, their worth has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love.

Within every language, there are many dialects. Here below you will find just a few but in the end you need to understand your spouse’s dialect.[Tweet “Remember to learn your spouse’s dialect. It might be ‘diamonds’…”]

Purchased Gifts:

Anything you can imagine, [Read more…] about Back by Popular Demand Series: Love Language Part 3 – Receiving Gifts

Filed Under: back by popular demand, ezinearticle, love/relationship/marriage Tagged With: gary chapman, gift, love language

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