10 Things About Helping Children Through Grief

By Leave a Comment

Supporting-Children-Through-Grief
Supporting Children Through Grief

Children are affected by the loss of a loved one, just as we adults are. Depending on their age and maturity, they will have different needs and show various symptoms. Siblings might respond in a similar manner or some seemingly not as much.

1. Support according to age and maturity

All children are affected, how and if they show it can be quite different. Young toddlers might not consciously know what’s going on, nor cognitively understand death, but they respond to the parents’ emotional state. Teenagers understand and often deal with death in their own personal way. Choose support for your child according to their personal needs, age and maturity.[Tweet “Why Everyone Wins When You Put Your Oxygen Mask on First”]

[Read more…] about 10 Things About Helping Children Through Grief

10 Things About Relationship Changes With Grief

By Leave a Comment

Relationship change, with or without loss

Grief and loss changes many things and the people directly involved. There is no doubt that it also changes the relationship dynamics between directly involved people, as well as the way friends and family interact with the bereaved and vice versa.

1. The world has changed

The world of a bereaved person changes dramatically following a loss. The way they see and interpret what has happened influences their worldview.

2. I have changed

Many bereaved people are challenged with the way they personally are changed after a loss. There is a term, describing the time post loss as the ‘New Normal’, which in most cases feels anything but normal.[Tweet “Relationship change, with or without loss”]

3. My partner has changed [Read more…] about 10 Things About Relationship Changes With Grief

Who Is Your Spiritual Authority?

By Leave a Comment

Who decides what you believe?
Who decides what you believe?

Going through life we learn from parents, teachers, lecturers, educators, coaches, trainers, workshop leaders, religious leaders, partners, and children. Spiritual seekers often learn from gurus. But who is your spiritual authority? Who tells you what’s right and what’s wrong? What to believe and from whom? When to apply what you have learnt and why?

The good, the bad and the useless

As a child, we learn and believe our parents. As pupils, we learn from our teachers. Sadly, not all the teaching we receive is beneficial. When the teaching is received in the formative years of a child, it is often taken on before they gain the ability to decipher between good and bad. As we grow older, we hopefully become more and more equipped to differentiate between what of the learning and beliefs we want to believe and what we need to throw over board. [Tweet “Who decides what you believe?”]

Experience and perception

If you were to ask me what I believe after all that I’ve been through, [Read more…] about Who Is Your Spiritual Authority?

10 Things About the First Year of Grief

By Leave a Comment

Nathalie Himmelrich Q5The first year marks the first time you experience and do everything without the person you have lost. Traditionally, society believed that it gets easier after the first year. Some still believe this nowadays. The truth is that the challenging time post-loss is as individual as the bereaved themselves. Trust in your own time-line processing grief.

1. Shock and numbness

The very first phase of grief will most likely be spent in numbness from the shock. This is a protective way for the body to help you cope with the intensity.

2. Surviving

Living through the first phase of grief may not seem survivable. It may even seem as no relief to know other bereaved have walked this path before. It is survivable and it takes time and energy. [Tweet “Grief is survivable and it takes time and energy.”]

[Read more…] about 10 Things About the First Year of Grief

From Depression to Suicide

By Leave a Comment

robin_williams
Robin Williams

[Tweet “The question of theodicy: “Why do bad things happen to good people?””]Today we all heard the news of Robin Williams’ death through suicide. How sad. I do not read the news but I start my day by browsing Facebook, especially now that I’m in the last stretch of publishing my forthcoming book “Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple”. The news feed today was full of Robin Williams’ pictures, quotes, movie references… a display of people’s love and admiration for his craft and talent of having an impact on people’s lives.

Reading about his death I noticed that, unbeknownst to me, he had depression and committed suicide. I had multiple conversations with people who said things like: “He was such an inspiring character, it’s unbelievable that he was depressed” or “He was so successful, I can’t believe he committed suicide.” It’s the question of theodicy, a topic I cover in my book:

The question of theodicy

“Why do bad things happen to good people?” is the most common version of the theological question around why evil is possible in this world. Religious parents are faced with the question why a good God permits the manifestation of evil, like the death of their child. Any variation of the post-loss “why” questions can become a way of amplifying loss. According to Dr. L. Michael Hall, by focusing on getting to acceptance as quickly as possible takes the semantic power out of the “why” question. If overused, the “why” question can become a way to amplify loss. [Read more…] about From Depression to Suicide

Should I Tell Him?

By Leave a Comment

Tell or don't tell?
Tell or don’t tell?

Entering into a new relationship means starting at the beginning and sharing your story with each other. The older you get and the more experiences you have collected, the more potential for aspects of your past that seems unworthy of sharing. Maybe some of your experiences make you feel guilty, ashamed or even disgusted with yourself. So, should you tell your new partner the whole truth or not?

Is it relevant right now?

Recently, a client of mine tormented herself about a past secret affair and whether or not she should tell her new partner, given the new man knew the man from the affair. What I asked her first is: “Is this part of your past relevant to you now and how?”

In regards to an affair, ask yourself whether you still have feelings for the other person, which might impede in your new forming relationship.

Ask yourself: Does my past affair emotionally stand in the way of forming this new relationship? [Tweet “When to tell the truth?”] [Read more…] about Should I Tell Him?