Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

coaching

The Difference Between Counselling and Coaching

By Leave a Comment

conversation between two people
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Many people ask me this question – so I’ve written an article/blog post about it. Please feel free to leave your comments!

Nowadays most people take the advantage of supporting themselves with the help of a counsellor, coach or therapist through the challenges life throws at them at some stage. For people new to the field of self-development the question ‘What is the difference between a counsellor and coach?’ comes up often. Let’s find some distinctions that might be helpful to you.

What is Counselling

Counselling is the modality to heal yourself, find closure for things that happened in your past, come to see things from a healthier perspective, learn to let go of grudges and resentment and build up ego strength. Counselling often works as a ‘talking therapy’ as research has found that expressing emotions helps to digest them. A counsellor acts as a professional friend with whom you can confide your innermost thoughts. They will listen attentively and hold no judgment over your opinions or ideas. Most counsellors will refrain from giving you advice but help you find your own way, clarify the issues, bring understanding and wider perspective and support you in making your own wise decisions. Counselling mostly focuses on clearing past issues.

What is Coaching

Coaching is the modality to go forward, to plan for the future you want to create, bring an action to goal setting and eliminate any obstacles that might be in the way to reaching your goals. Coaching involves a full commitment to making the changes that will bring you closer to your desired outcome. A coach will also listen attentively and ask you powerful questions. Coaching is for people that have enough ego strength to take action. Coaching is mostly focused on creating a desired future outcome and is only involving past issues if they are important for the future outcome.

What style of sessions do I need?

Ask yourself the following questions to find out whether you want to look for a counsellor or for a coach:

Are you…

1…. dealing with issues at work, including relationship issues with your boss and co-worker?

2…. wanting to change jobs and don’t know what to do next?

3…. looking for a new partner?

4…. searching for your passion in life and how to incorporate it into your life?

5…. unsure how to be a better communicator in work and private relationships?

6…. looking for the next step in your career and how to get there?

7…. planning to start working again after having been a ‘stay-at-home’ mum?

If you have answered yes to one or many of questions 1 – 7, you are most likely looking for a coach.

Are you…

8…. getting over a separation or marriage break-down?

9…. still very angry or frustrated with your parents and want to get over those feeling to create better relationships with them?

10…. dealing with fear and anxiety that you think might stem from past trauma?

11…. working through grief due to the loss of someone close, like your parent, partner or child?

12…. dealing with reoccurring relationship difficulties in your life?

13…. having a hard time with your teenage daughter or son?

14…. not sure whether you want to stay in a relationship or leave?

If you have answered yes to one or many of the questions 8 – 14 you are most likely looking for a counsellor.

Remember that whether you are seeing a counsellor or coach you need at least 2-3 sessions to get a sense of how they are working and to find out whether you feel comfortable with them and their approach.

The 7 C’s of Communication

By Leave a Comment

couple in sunset
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Communication is the basis of every human interaction, whether it is verbal or non-verbal. Connection can only occur once communication in one form or another occurs. Human beings are made to connect and communicate. Imagine if for one day you were not able to communicate with any human being – how would that feel?

Connect

Once you connect through communication your personal input will determine the quality and the depth of connection you form. Connection happens on many levels, from a mental, emotional or physical to an energetic or even spiritual level. A connection can last between moments and a lifetime.

Create

Communication is here to create a connection with others. It allows you to get to know someone new, to make new acquaintances or friends and to create new sources of experiences in your life. Be mindful of what you create with your communication, especially as it consists of body language, which is 55% of the whole communication, tone of voice, 38%, and the words, which astonishingly transmit only 7% of the whole communication.

Converse

To converse from Latin means ‘to turn around’, to engage in conversation, the informal exchange of ideas by spoken words. Every conversation consists of a speaker and a listener. More often than not while communicating we focus on our turn speaking and forget to truly listen. Active listening is a skill that can be trained and if you truly want to have quality interactions you need to become an excellent listener.

Cooperate and Compromise

As important as the content of communication is the ability of the people involved to cooperate and compromise. As mentioned in the paragraph above allowing others to speak is the foundation of any conversation. If you find this challenging, learn and practice the art of active listening. The next step is to accept differences in opinions and perspectives, which does not necessarily mean to agree with them.

Clarify

Ask for clarification! Words are only labels and descriptors for things, experiences and meanings but they are not the things themselves. Remember to question your assumptions before continuing the conversation.

Come together

Every communication is a coming together of souls. Treat it as a sacred opportunity to learn something new, even if it is about someone or something you think you already know.

Smart Goal Setting

By Leave a Comment

dart board
Photo by Silvan Arnet on Unsplash

One of the basic patterns in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is about forming ‘Well-Formed Outcomes’. Most of the solution-focused forms of therapy and cutting edge developmental tools like coaching and counselling focus on the desired outcome when dealing with a desire for change.

How to form a ‘Well Formed Outcome’?

The questions we ask in coaching and counselling can also be applied to yourself when you want to clarify a future outcome. Ask yourself:

What do I want to achieve?

If a miracle happened tonight, and tomorrow I did not have the problem (or I achieved what I set out to achieve), how would I know? What would I notice to be different? What do I have to let go of?

What are the specific steps and questions to make an outcome well-formed?

1. State in the positive

What do I really want? Not what you do not want.

2. State what you can do and maintain

Is my goal something I can do myself? What can I do today that will move me towards my goal? If your goal depends on others you will not have full control over it.

3. When, where, how, with whom?

Give your brain clear and detailed information regarding what you want to happen.

4. State in sensory-based words

If I were to see myself on a video having achieved the outcome, what would I see?

5. Steps and stages

What are the steps that I can take now? Use small and simple, bite-size steps so your goal becomes do-able.

6. Add resources

What resources do I need to make my dream come true? Add these resources as steps to your action plan.

7. Evidence for fulfillment

How will I know that I have achieved my goal? What will I see, hear, feel when I am there?

8. Make it compelling

Is my desire compelling, exciting, worth my effort? If it is not, choose something else.

9. Check ecology

Does my goal fit into my life?

Subscribe for updates
    Built with ConvertKit
    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach. I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Affiliate Disclosure

    Copyright © 2012 - 2024 Nathalie Himmelrich | All Rights Reserved