Better, worse, more than, less than, more special, more common… Often human interactions are a game to differentiate ourselves from our fellow human being in some way that makes us feel superior. The ego is racing against the fear of going unnoticed.
Let’s have a look at a typical conversation:
Person A: How are you today?
Person B: I am OK. I have got a bit of a headache.
Person A: Oh well, that is nothing. I am hurting from my head to my toes…
Here a conversation in relationship:
Husband: I had such a tough day at work. I need a rest.
Wife: Well I’m so tired. I had to deal with the plumber in the morning and could not do the grocery shopping and then in the afternoon I had all the kids from the neighborhood over to feed and look after. I can barely keep my eyes open. Guess how much I need a rest?
In a business setting it might sound like this:
Employee 1: I have got such a fantastic office at my new job with views over the harbor!
Employee 2: We are lucky because we get to work wireless from wherever we want to in the whole complex where I work and one day a week we can even opt to work from home.
Many of our daily conversations follow the ego’s fight for recognition, superiority, specialness or uniqueness of some kind.
Are you walking around your daily life comparing yourself with others? Are you secretly thinking of yourself as ‘worse than’ or ‘better than’ other people? Are you gossiping about others? If this is normal every conversation that you have within yourself or with others and you wonder: ‘And so what’s the point?’ – ask yourself:
- If I could not compete about being better or worse of, having more or less than, having done more or less of etc. who would I be?
- What is the feeling that I try to manage when I compare myself?
- What would there be left to talk about if I could not gossip, judge and compare?
The need for continuous competition costs vital energy and in the end leaves you dissatisfied. Once we start to disengage from these conversations there might be very little left to be said for some time until our habits change. The benefit will be feeling more joyous and content, connecting deeply with others and standing in your own truth.