What Shall I Write When A Baby Has Died?
Writing a card for a baby who died? If yes, what shall I write?
I don’t want to upset the parents…
Today, this great and important question reached me by email.
I have a friend who has just given birth to twins very prematurely. One of them was unfortunately born dead and the surviving twin is understandably very ill. I want to send a card to them but also want to congratulate them on the birth of their surviving daughter at the same time acknowledging the death of the other. Any thoughts of a message I could use?
I can only answer from my personal experience and my preferences.
Obviously you should always take cultural, religious and societal differences into consideration when writing a card.
Think about the parents’ situation and not yours (in terms of religion, for example).
Acknowledge the babies and parents
First of all: always acknowledge the babies born, born alive and born still.
When I gave birth to my twin girls, I loved and appreciated those people who sent me cards congratulating me to twins.
- “Congratulations to the birth of your [two] daughter, sons, children.”
- “New parents are being born – congratulations to the birth of [names].”