Affairs can be exciting adventures that can have detrimental effects on the primary relationship, as some readers might well know from previous experience. There is however hope for reconciliation if both partners do their share of the healing and forgiving.
In my practice, I encounter many couples that have been suffering as an effect of an extra-marital affair or another form of ‘breaks in trust’. I am continuously astounded at the resilience couples to have shown over the years. This is only partly due to the support I offer them and mainly to their own work and preparedness on dealing with the issue in a way that supports both partners.
In regards to the past affair, sufficient time for healing is needed during which various emotions might surface for both partners. For the ‘cheater’ these might include guilt, sadness, anger at self or even grief over the discontinued affair. For the ‘cheated’ these might include anger, rage, blame, disbelief, sadness or despair. All these emotions need to have their place, which might not necessarily have to be within the relationship itself. Consider confiding in a good friend, family member (not your children) or a therapist. Working with and through these emotions can take considerable time and it is important to know that you need to let your partner deal with theirs in their own time. Allowing and dealing with these emotions will assist the healing process.[Read more…] about They Cheat – How a Relationship Can Survive an Affair