Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

feelings

Life Is Not Fair, Get Used To It

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Photo by Bekir Dönmez on Unsplash

Bill Gates said: ‘Life is not fair, get used to it.’ He is right. Some of you might cringe hearing this, some of you might want to negotiate over this fact and others might simply use some fatalistic sentence like ‘When it’s meant to be it will happen.’ Unfortunately, any of these approaches won’t help you when you experience really painful ‘unfairness’.

First of all we have to understand that what is fair and what is not is a question of perception. Fairness in life is not based on a rulebook with which experiences can be measured. What you mean by ‘being fair’ is your personal definition based on your values, which does not necessarily have to coincide with another person’s value system.

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Remembrance – Resurfacing of past feelings and emotions

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Past - Present - Future -- where are you?
Past – Present – Future — where are you?

It is said that all we have is the present. While that is true, it is also true that in essence, past, present, and future are one. We are connected energetically to both past and future. Life is an evolving story and where we are now is a result of where we have been.

If feelings and emotions are resurfacing from deep within you and you may find yourself on an emotional roller coaster do not fight them, this is all fine. It is important to occasionally remember and honour your past, for it is part of you, part of your soul’s journey. Yet remember to honour every part of it, regardless of wheter you perceive parts to be good or bad, for in some way every experience has helped to expand your understanding and appreciation of life.

Occasionally reflecting on the past is healthy, just as giving some thought to your future is wise. However excessive preoccupation with either only serves to rob you of the present moment and that serves no real purpose.

Source: Toni Carmine Salerno

Name That Feeling, You Will Feel Better

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Putting feelings into words makes sadness and anger less intense, U.S. brain researchers said in a finding that explains why talking to a therapist — or even a sympathetic bartender — often makes people feel better. Researchers scanned the brains of people who were shown pictures of faces expressing strong emotions and asked to categorize the feelings using words like “sad” or “angry”. They were also asked to match the face to one of two gender-specific names like “Sally” or “Harry”.

The findings showed that when people attached a word like “angry” to an angry-looking face, the response in the amygdala portion of the brain that handles fear, panic and other strong emotions decreased. This seems to dampen down the response in these basic emotional circuits in the brain — in this case the amygdala. What lights up instead is the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls impulses.

So rather than talking about feelings leading to new insights, and that understanding being what transforms you, it may be that simply naming an emotion allows you to move on from it.
Source: Psychological Science

Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash
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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

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