My husband, my daughter and I are currently sharing living space with my father and sometimes his new partner. Today after breakfast my father said to his partner: ‘I will do it!’, pointing at the dishes on the table, as she was rushing to get ready. As he carried out the plates into the kitchen, he asked me: ‘Can I just put the dishes here, or do you want me to wash them?’
My father is perfectly capable of doing the dishes and we even have a dishwasher. What was showing up was a little example of old family patterns playing out. Let me point them out to you:
1. I need help
Often in families there is one pattern where a person is pretending to be incapable of doing something to enrol others in doing it for them. He wanted me to do it for him by asking nicely, stressing on ‘do you want me to wash them?’ My answer was: ‘You can also put them in the dishwasher.’ [Read more…] about Relationship Wisdom – Old Family Patterns