Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

grieving parents

Nathalie with Domenique Rice on Unapologetically Grieving Out Loud | Episode 5

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Today I speak with Domenique Rice who I have come to know as part of the Instagram community of bereaved parents supporting one another in the Grieving Parents Support Network. People come and go in this community, but Domenique has stayed actively involved and developed a voice to be noticed creating stillbirth awareness in honour of her son TJ.

‘I need to parent my son and honour where I’m at. So that’s the evolution, once again of the ‘stillbirth-Mama-fighting-for light’ and how I really transitioned my grief in my reality to be unapologetic and I say that quite often: unapologetic grief. It has taken me time, but I can’t sugar-coat once again my reality. I can’t water myself down.’

Domenique Rice

About this week’s guest 

Domenique Rice wears many hats – staunch activist, laid-back California transplant, savvy Brooklyn girl, superstar salesperson – but her most important role is that of (bereaved) mother of five. Domenique never had any reason to suspect that something was amiss in her second pregnancy, at least, not until it was already too late. Like most parents, stillbirth and preventative measures were never discussed with Domenique, leaving her completely blindsided when at 36.5 weeks pregnant she unexpectedly went into labor and her second child and first son, TJ, was born still.

In between her morning “TJ coffee” where she holds space each day for her son, rocking a successful sales career, and loving on TJ’s living siblings, Domenique is passionate about sharing her stillborn son, creating stillbirth and child death awareness, and connecting with other bereaved families to support them in their nontraditional parenthood. Grief is not something that parents should need to hide. Stillbirth affects over 23,000 families each year, and Domenique is not willing to stand by while any of them are silenced for one moment longer. 

Feel free to connect with Domenique on her well-regarded Instagram account, @stillbirthmamafightingforlight, where she is actively breaking down stigma and dropping knowledge to prevent stillbirths from happening.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The death of her son TJ, Terrance Christopher Rice
  • Unapologetically grieving out loud and the love for TJ
  • How to parent a dead child?
  • Using social media (IG) to talk openly and connect to other like-minded people
  • Differences in grieving between partners and how to support one another

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Melo Garcia on Compound Grief and Finding Someone Who Speaks Grief | Episode 3

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Melo Garcia on Compound Grief and Finding Someone Who Speaks Grief

‘When you decide that it is yours, you’ll understand that along with that grief comes an amazing life of living after loss because you have something that no one else can ever, ever have. And that is the love, that is the love – that’s the love that remains.’

Melo has experienced three multiple significant losses in a short time frame. In this interview, she explains how through grief it felt as if she lost her mind and found it again in her journey with grief and trauma.

About this week’s guest

Melo Garcia, a grief specialist, assists those who have lost what isn’t replaceable. She created After Chloe, an online community that provides support, resources, and assistance through the difficult grief journey, in honor of her daughter Chloe who passed away in 2011, and after losing both her parents.

Melo felt it necessary to help others deal with the grief and loss life presents from death, divorce, identity, age, fertility, and empty-nesting by creating various types of solutions that the grieving finds a life worth living.

In 2021 she started the podcast, The Resilience of Grieving, and hosts an annual online Summit during the holidays to provide resources to grievers.

Melo allows you to speak your grief in your way, a way that will assist you and inspire you to live and grieve. Find out more about Melo on After Chloe on Instagram.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Compound grief: The death of Melo’s father, mother, and baby daughter Chloe in the time span of two years
  • How to deal with therapists who do not speak grief
  • How to understand trauma and how grief and trauma have changed her and shaped her life
  • Self-help through bibliotherapy

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

 Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Katja Faber on Homicide Loss – Effect on the Victim’s Family | Episode 2 Part 1

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‘I wish to be ok with it if for no other reason than I owed it to myself and I owed to my still-living children and those that care about me. Because they have a right to have a full and beautiful life, and having a mother that’s traumatised and overwhelmed by something that she has no control over is not doing anybody any favours.’

Katja’s story is extraordinary and has made waves in the media worldwide. Since the recording of this episode a few weeks ago the court case has taken place at the high court in Zurich, and the killer was convicted. We are planning to do Part 2 of this interview in a few weeks so stay tuned.

About this week’s guest 

Katja Faber is the mother of three children. Following her 23-year-old son’s murder in Switzerland, she used her legal training to work closely with lawyers and the State Prosecutor to secure justice for her dead son. Through her writing at Still Standing Magazine and other grief-related publications, she hopes to break the taboo of homicide loss and child loss. She runs her own fruit farm and is an advocate of ecotherapy as a means of finding healing following a traumatic loss. Katja is a certified Compassionate Bereavement Care® counselor through the Center for Loss and Trauma in partnership with the MISS Foundation and the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Family Trust.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Homicide loss – how a parent deals with the loss, the grief, the trauma, and the legal system
  • Self-care, writing, nature, family support, support groups 
  • Siblings’ grief, mothering living children who grieve their brother
  • Dealing with the media and the added pain caused by media coverage
  • Judgment or misunderstanding of the surroundings
  • Re-traumatizing the victim’s family through ongoing trials
  • The aspect of grief being to some degree public due to trials
  • How to continue living with the fact that the killer is still out there alive
  • The importance of accountability  

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

 Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Rachel Tenpenny on Why and How Healing Is Possible | Episode 1

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In this episode, we will be talking about child loss and loss through a divorce. I’m joined by Rachel Tenpenny, who is sharing her experiences and her insight that healing is possible.

I promise that if you will be here listening until the very end, you will know why she is absolutely sure that healing is possible. I’ve known Rachel for many years. In fact, since the first book I’ve written, Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple, where I interviewed her and I still remember the things that she said, which are exceptional.

About this week’s guest

Rachel Tenpenny is a grief expert, emotional well-being specialist, and life-after-loss coach. With over 13 years of experience healing her own heart after her baby daughters died in 2008, she has helped hundreds of people find healing after life’s most painful experiences. Rachel believes grief is not forever and teaches grievers how to heal physically and emotionally with a unique and effective holistic approach to cultivating healing that lasts a lifetime. Originally from a small town in Southern California, she now lives in Northern Virginia with her two boys, Dustin and Colton.

Episode introduction

‘Whether healing is possible or not, is irrelevant. It has to be possible for me because this is the life that I want, and I am not willing to give up.’ 

Rachel Tenpenny gave birth to twin girls Aubrey and Ellie on June 24th, 2008. They both died a few days after their birth. Rachel talks to us about her grieving and healing story and how she came to strongly believe that healing is possible

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Why and how healing is possible
  • A society that does not understand grief and how confused we are about grief 
  • What does it look like when ‘grief isn’t forever’? 
  • We don’t have to be isolated in our grief
  • Debunking grief myths
  • ‘Time heals all wounds’: Time is just time, it is what we choose to do with time
  • Grief skills are life skills and need to be learned

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

 Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

This really hurt

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image from personal archive

With a pain in my stomach, I write to you today. This week I received an email from one of my subscribers that really hurt.

She wrote:

I wish ppl would stop trying to make money off us. If you’ve known this kind of tragedy (losing your only child) you know there are setbacks, depression, loss of job, spouse, etc. It’s so unnecessary. So I’m unsubscribing and marking spam.

It pains me to be misunderstood, my passion to be taken the wrong way.

I do know of setbacks: I have experienced the loss of a child, dealt with trauma from the aftermath of my mother’s suicide, sexual abuse, and burnout. And – most recently – divorce.

This is part of why I’m doing what I’m doing!

I want to be honest with you: This is my passion:

–> to support YOU who are dealing with grief and trauma.

It is my life’s work.

My heart is in my work

Still, I also earn my living from supporting people: working with clients, writing and selling books, giving courses. All of this requires my time and my creative work.

It requires investment in my personal as well as professional resources outside of myself. For example:

  • costs for book self-publishing: cost for a editor and interior designer,
  • costs for my therapeutic work: on-going professional training and memberships,
  • everyday business expenses such as: web hosting, book keeping and accounting, membership for the platform that sends you email newsletters.

…just to name a few.

I also do and have done a lot of unpaid work for the community and outreach work, donate my books regularly to grief support groups, give away free spots on my courses, etc. I feel in balance.

My work is not only born from personal life experience, it is grounded in solid professional training and years of professional experience.

Making money from people’s pain

If you believe, people like me ‘are making money off people in pain’, you’ve got it the wrong way around:

We are not making money off your pain, we are supporting your healing because we are passionate about healing and are earning our living while doing what is our passion.

Unsubscribe

The subscriber I quoted above did not unsubscribe. I deleted her email address because I do not need to pay to send her stuff she does not want.

Please, if you no longer benefit from the content I provide in my newsletters, unsubscribe through the link at the bottom of the email. No explanation is needed.

And: I’m surprised you’re reading this far.

Much Love ♥️

💭 I daydream…

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I daydream about … 💫 who they would have become ✨

Grief Quote by Nathalie Himmelrich

Last night I went to Ananda Mae’s parents’ evening at the school. Every parent had to introduce their child given it was a new formation of kids.

As I heard the other parents describe their child, mentioning their siblings, I went off daydreaming about AM’s sister, A’Mya.

Who would you have become? What would it be like for the two to go to the same school, or even class? To share friends, experiences, and birthdays?

Just the other day Ananda Mae had asked me to daydream with her about her sister. She asked exactly those questions. “Mum, would A’Mya look just like me?” “I imagine very similar, given you are identical twins,” I replied.

Go ahead, daydream

Daydreaming about a future that cannot be is a way of remembering. Remembering your loved one. Living a relationship, learning to be in a new relationship when the kind of relationship we would have wanted to live is no longer possible.

Whoever came up with the notion ‘not to grow up the child/baby who died’ (I remember it was a therapist 🤦🏽‍♀️ – not me though) was wrong. It is completely normal and natural to do so, at least in my experience and the experience of her surviving twin.

Thank you for being right here and now with me 🕊

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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

    Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich