Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

grieving

46 Coco Buchmann on Motherloss After 23 Years of Anticipatory Grief

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Coco Buchmann

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast: bit.ly/SupportGTPodcast. Thank you! 

For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website, join the podcast’s Instagram page, and subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

I’ve known Coco personally as we studied Somatic Experience, Peter Levine’s extensive professional trauma training, together. I accompanied her as she dealt with the intensive relationship with her mother and the grief over her mother’s subsequent death. From a young age – for half of her own life – Coco cared for her mother and had to be the one to make decisions regarding her mother’s care in her 23-year-long battle with cancer and mental health issues.  

About this week’s guest 

Coco Buchmann is a body psychotherapist and trauma therapist. She is also the mother of two boys, 11 and 8 years old. 
 She originally studied improvisation and contemporary dance and later added clinical psychology, integrative body psychotherapy, and Somatic Experiencing to her repertoire. Most recently she finished her yoga teacher’s training which she practices in her daily life, besides dance, and Tao Yoga (Chi Gong). 
As a therapist, Coco has been working with individuals, dealing with mental illness, such as depression and anxiety, and she also worked with couples. 
 Eighteen months ago, she started a sabbatical to delve into her own grieving process and to follow her destiny and passion to write a book about the expression of the true self and aliveness, a process which she has coined Yogawave.
 Coco experienced many kinds of losses and traumas in her life, on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. 
 Over the last 20 years, she has been obsessed with finding the connection between trauma, loss, and the nervous system and has been investigating the deeper layers of the soul and the energies in the body.

Coco’s website: www.chill-dini-basis.com

Other episodes mentioned in this episode:

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Shannon Traphagen on Vulnerability and Loneliness as a Widow | Episode 36

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Shannon Traphagen

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Shannon Traphagen about the loss of the love of her life and best friend from brain cancer. She so beautifully describes feeling rudderless and lost after having spent all her adult life with her husband. Before her husband’s diagnosis, they were on the road to adoption but due to his illness, they also lost that option. Shannon slept downstairs on the couch for a year to avoid the loneliness of the bedroom she had shared with her husband and the baby’s room across the hallway. She slowly worked her way back into embracing her life and now helps others through her podcast. Shannon speaks about vulnerability and loneliness, a topic she feels is not discussed enough in grief. 

About this week’s guest 

Shannon Traphagen, MSW, is a published author, motivational grief & loss speaker, patient advocate, and host of The Game On Glio Podcast. A show centered around the stories of brain cancer patients, caregivers, doctors, researchers, therapists, and grief and loss journeys. With a background in magazine publishing, social work, and modern media, Shannon is also walking through her own grief journey after losing her 45-year-old husband to Glioblastoma two years ago. She now helps others through her podcast and her own experiences, bridging the gap in communication between patients/families, widows, and the medical community. She is also the founder of Traphagen’s Trail Ride 4 Brain Cancer, a cycling fundraiser which has raised over $30,000 to date for brain cancer clinical trials. 

Shannon’s links:

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Miscarriages
  • The diagnosis of brain cancer of her husband led to the loss of adoption in the process
  • The death of her husband from glioblastoma
  • How to come to ‘I’m ok with this (loss)’ 
  • Vulnerability and loneliness
  • Secondary losses
  • Finding resilience through creating meaning

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Sarah Stillman on How Dealing With Trauma Does Not Prevent But Helps Prepare For Future Trauma | Episodes 34 and 35

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HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 

Episodes 34

Episodes 35

Sarah Stillman

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Sarah Stillman, who suffered preeclampsia and concealed placental abruption which led to the stillbirth of her first son. Having been sexually assaulted earlier on in her life in a medical environment, she was very clear about needing to take charge of her medical care to avoid further traumatization. Unfortunately, the developments her pregnancy experienced leading to emergency care, resulted in her experiencing more trauma.

We had such a rich conversation that this became a double episode. Make sure you listen to the second part which is going to be published a week after this in which we dive much deeper into the topic of pregnancy after loss and how to deal with the trauma of sexual assault.     

About this week’s guest

Sarah is one of Nathaniel’s two mamas (yes, he has two moms)! Nathaniel is Sarah and Amy’s firstborn son conceived through IVF with a traumatic ending in severe early-onset preeclampsia, placental abruption, emergency C-section, a brief NICU stay, and death within his mother’s arms. Sarah took to grieving, finding out what happened, and planning for future pregnancy like a full-time job, and in the midst of the uncertainty and haze of grief, identified resources that helped answer critical questions. In honor of her son, she created whenmybabydied.com which aims to offer families a centralized resource hub of information and answers for the question no parent ever thought they’d have to find. Sarah is currently pregnant with Nathaniel’s sibling who is expected to be born in April 2023. She lives with her wife, two dogs, and Nathaniel’s warrior spirit in Central Massachusetts.

Check out Sarah’s links:

Topics discussed in this episode

Part One

  • Early miscarriage, appendicitis operation during subsequent pregnancy, preeclampsia leading to the stillbirth of her son Nathaniel
  • Prior sexual assault trauma leading to challenges in medical care during pregnancy
  • Loss and trauma
  • Secondary losses following a stillbirth

Part Two

  • Empty arm syndrome
  • Being pregnant after a stillbirth
  • Sexual assault
  • The effect of prior trauma on pregnancy
  • Grieving the loss of having planned for a healing event when it turns into a new trauma

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Keem Fares on How Grief Evolves From Survival | Episode 25

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Keem Fares

Today on the podcast I’m speaking with Keem Fares, the mother of Karina, a spirited intelligent young gymnast, who died in a freak accident when she was 12 years old.

In our conversation, we draw the connection from early grief to when we worked on the book Surviving My First Year of Child Loss in 2017 to now, 8 years after Karina’s death.

I can highly recommend listening to this episode with Keem because she so beautifully describes how grief has affected her life, her relationship, and her faith and how it has evolved from pure survival to how she experiences it now, after 8 years.

This was without a doubt the most interesting conversation I had on the topic of how faith and grief interact, especially given the fact that I would call myself a strongly spiritual but non-religious person.

About this week’s guest

Keem Fares is a Non-Profit professional and holds a leadership position in Financial Operations. Originally from Mexico herself, she met her husband in Cairo, Egypt, where they lived for 15 years before moving to San Diego, California in 2011.

Keem struggles to rediscover herself after the accidental death of her 12-year-old daughter, Karina, in 2015. She finds joy in her son Mark, and together with her husband, they rely on their faith in hope. They established Karina’s Joy Foundation to perpetuate Karina’s joyful spirit and giving nature through youth scholarships and acts of kindness.

She says, “I don’t have answers. I simply intentionally survive one moment, one day, one week, one month, one year…and then I do it again. Maybe, someday I’ll have survived enough to live and perhaps even thrive. In the midst of my own darkness, I can trust and hope that a rainbow might appear. One stormy day at a time, I am expecting rainbows.”

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The impact of her teenage daughter’s death on her life
  • How grief evolved from surviving to becoming ‘comfortable’ with grief
  • Pre-grief in the times before death-anniversaries
  • Finding comfort in community online
  • Social media offering both comfort and triggers
  • What grief looks like 8 years later, effects on relationship and faith

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Sharon Ehlers on Dealing With Suicide | Episode 13

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Sharon Ehlers Dealing with Suicide

Today Sharon Ehlers and I dive into the topic of loss by suicide. We both share how we dealt with losing close people who took their own lives. 

Sharon has lost multiple people in her life, two of which died by suicide. She shares so generously about all the tools and resources she found along her way that helped her deal with the losses after she realized that she wasn’t coping at all with the first loss of her best friend Joy. Attending to her grief and learning about death opened things for Sharon she wouldn’t want to miss and she says: 

The one thing that has changed that I wouldn’t want to miss is the fact of finding what feeds your soul. Certainly, as an intellectual person, it’s been about work all of my life and achieving to the point of craziness. And so now it’s like, what feeds your soul, and, in many cases, it may not be what you currently do. It may not be your work, maybe something else. And finding that is important.

Sharon Ehlers

About this week’s guest 

Sharon Ehlers’ grief and trauma journey began when her best friend as well as her former fiancé both died by suicide within two years of each other. Then her beloved Dad died unexpectedly from a fall. She was confused about why so many people either avoided her or didn’t want to talk about these events. Sharon tried to make sense of it all on her own, but “grief brain” made it tough to figure out what resources were available to help her. 

After years of struggling, Sharon conceptualized a multidimensional approach to grief and loss using Reiki and other spirituality-based tools. This eventually became her successful book, Grief Reiki® – An Integrated Approach to the Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Components of Grief and Loss. She also co-authored Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss by Suicide a finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Book Excellence Awards, and the Best Book Awards. 

Besides being an award-winning author, Sharon is also a Master Grief Coach Grief, Death Midwife, Reiki Master Teacher, and Medical Reiki Master. She has three beautiful children and lives in Los Angeles, CA. Her best lesson in life is: “Miracles do happen.”

Sharon’s Website: www.grief-reiki.com 

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Suicide: Sharon’s best friend Joy and ex-partner John both died by suicide
  • The death of Sharon’s father 
  • Dealing with the topic of suicide and the grief and trauma following a suicide
  • Trying to understand suicide and depression
  • ‘How did it happen?’ – the repercussions of this question 

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier. 

Nathalie with Callie Hawkins on Creating a Legacy | Episode 11

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Callie Hawkins

Today I speak with Callie about the loss of her first son Coley and how she created a legacy by creating an exhibition at Present Lincoln’s Cottage in Washington, DC. Listen to Callie describing how she learned to intentionally grieve. One thing to definitely look out for in this episode is how she experiences grief loving her back. 

Callie says:

‘One thing I wish I had known was that it is still possible to have a relationship with your loved one who has died. It’s certainly not a relationship that you anticipate. It’s not the relationship that you even necessarily wanted or had dreamed of or could have imagined. It is beautiful all at the same time.’

About this week’s guest 

Callie Hawkins is a grief activist and bereaved mother whose son, Coley, died of unexplained stillbirth in February 2018 — one day after his due date. In her professional role as Director of Programming at President Lincoln’s Cottage — a historic site and museum in Washington, DC where President Abraham Lincoln and his family moved after the death of their son, Willie — Hawkins curated Reflections on Grief and Child Loss, an exhibit that connects the Lincoln family’s experience with the deaths of their children with modern families who have lost children across age and experience. Callie, her husband Jason and their living son, Fletcher, live with a deep and abiding love for Coley in the greater Washington, DC area.  

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Callie’s son Coley dying from stillbirth
  • Guilt and shame
  • Coley’s legacy
  • Grief loving me back
  • Intentional grieving
  • Exhibition at Lincoln’s Cottage

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

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