Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

loss

Nathalie with Sharon Ehlers on Dealing With Suicide | Episode 13

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Sharon Ehlers Dealing with Suicide

Today Sharon Ehlers and I dive into the topic of loss by suicide. We both share how we dealt with losing close people who took their own lives. 

Sharon has lost multiple people in her life, two of which died by suicide. She shares so generously about all the tools and resources she found along her way that helped her deal with the losses after she realized that she wasn’t coping at all with the first loss of her best friend Joy. Attending to her grief and learning about death opened things for Sharon she wouldn’t want to miss and she says: 

The one thing that has changed that I wouldn’t want to miss is the fact of finding what feeds your soul. Certainly, as an intellectual person, it’s been about work all of my life and achieving to the point of craziness. And so now it’s like, what feeds your soul, and, in many cases, it may not be what you currently do. It may not be your work, maybe something else. And finding that is important.

Sharon Ehlers

About this week’s guest 

Sharon Ehlers’ grief and trauma journey began when her best friend as well as her former fiancé both died by suicide within two years of each other. Then her beloved Dad died unexpectedly from a fall. She was confused about why so many people either avoided her or didn’t want to talk about these events. Sharon tried to make sense of it all on her own, but “grief brain” made it tough to figure out what resources were available to help her. 

After years of struggling, Sharon conceptualized a multidimensional approach to grief and loss using Reiki and other spirituality-based tools. This eventually became her successful book, Grief Reiki® – An Integrated Approach to the Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Components of Grief and Loss. She also co-authored Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss by Suicide a finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Book Excellence Awards, and the Best Book Awards. 

Besides being an award-winning author, Sharon is also a Master Grief Coach Grief, Death Midwife, Reiki Master Teacher, and Medical Reiki Master. She has three beautiful children and lives in Los Angeles, CA. Her best lesson in life is: “Miracles do happen.”

Sharon’s Website: www.grief-reiki.com 

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Suicide: Sharon’s best friend Joy and ex-partner John both died by suicide
  • The death of Sharon’s father 
  • Dealing with the topic of suicide and the grief and trauma following a suicide
  • Trying to understand suicide and depression
  • ‘How did it happen?’ – the repercussions of this question 

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier. 

Nathalie with Callie Hawkins on Creating a Legacy | Episode 11

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Callie Hawkins

Today I speak with Callie about the loss of her first son Coley and how she created a legacy by creating an exhibition at Present Lincoln’s Cottage in Washington, DC. Listen to Callie describing how she learned to intentionally grieve. One thing to definitely look out for in this episode is how she experiences grief loving her back. 

Callie says:

‘One thing I wish I had known was that it is still possible to have a relationship with your loved one who has died. It’s certainly not a relationship that you anticipate. It’s not the relationship that you even necessarily wanted or had dreamed of or could have imagined. It is beautiful all at the same time.’

About this week’s guest 

Callie Hawkins is a grief activist and bereaved mother whose son, Coley, died of unexplained stillbirth in February 2018 — one day after his due date. In her professional role as Director of Programming at President Lincoln’s Cottage — a historic site and museum in Washington, DC where President Abraham Lincoln and his family moved after the death of their son, Willie — Hawkins curated Reflections on Grief and Child Loss, an exhibit that connects the Lincoln family’s experience with the deaths of their children with modern families who have lost children across age and experience. Callie, her husband Jason and their living son, Fletcher, live with a deep and abiding love for Coley in the greater Washington, DC area.  

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Callie’s son Coley dying from stillbirth
  • Guilt and shame
  • Coley’s legacy
  • Grief loving me back
  • Intentional grieving
  • Exhibition at Lincoln’s Cottage

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Kelsey Chittick on Looking at Death Differently | Episode 10

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Kelsey Chittick

Today I speak with Kelsey about the loss of Nate, her husband, and the journey Kelsey took as part of dealing with his loss. She believes that: ‘The bigger the grief, the luckier you were.’ Kelsey shares so many different nuggets of wisdom that I found it hard to choose one to share with you below. Her way of looking at death and loss is different too many and honestly is refreshing. It will invite you to open your thinking and feeling about grief and trauma in a way you might never have thought to be possible. 

Here is just one of Kelsey’s nuggets of wisdom:

If you can take the bad out of dying, whether it is suicide or sudden loss or sickness. If you can trust on some level, there’s something bigger going on here. Just like when you’re having that child and you are birthing it, you’re in so much pain you think you’re dying. But there’s something bigger going on here… It gives you a little space to go: Maybe there’s a different way to walk through this.

Kelsey Chittick

About this week’s guest 

Kelsey Chittick is a writer, comedian, and inspirational speaker. Over the past 14 years, she has performed stand-up comedy all over Los Angeles and speaks at events around the country.  She is the author of the best seller Second Half – Surviving Loss and Finding Magic in the Missing, a book about the sudden death of her husband in 2017.

She is the host of Mom’s Don’t Have Time to Grieve Podcast and was the co-creator of KeepON, an inspiring and humorous podcast that explored how our greatest obstacles turn out to be our greatest gifts. 

Growing up in Florida, Kelsey was an accomplished student and athlete—an NCAA Championship individual qualifier and captain of the UNC women’s swimming team. She was married to Super Bowl champion Nate Hobgood-Chittick. 

Instagram:

@kelseydchittick
@momsdonthavetimetogrieve

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Kelsey’s husband Nate’s death from an enlarged heart and CTE (Chronic traumatic encephalopathy)
  • Dealing with the early stage and the physical experience of grief 
  • Grief happening versus deciding when to grieve
  • Death being the greatest teacher
  • Grief growing up with us
  • Living the best life in honor of them

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Nathalie with Rachel Tenpenny on Why and How Healing Is Possible | Episode 1

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In this episode, we will be talking about child loss and loss through a divorce. I’m joined by Rachel Tenpenny, who is sharing her experiences and her insight that healing is possible.

I promise that if you will be here listening until the very end, you will know why she is absolutely sure that healing is possible. I’ve known Rachel for many years. In fact, since the first book I’ve written, Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple, where I interviewed her and I still remember the things that she said, which are exceptional.

About this week’s guest

Rachel Tenpenny is a grief expert, emotional well-being specialist, and life-after-loss coach. With over 13 years of experience healing her own heart after her baby daughters died in 2008, she has helped hundreds of people find healing after life’s most painful experiences. Rachel believes grief is not forever and teaches grievers how to heal physically and emotionally with a unique and effective holistic approach to cultivating healing that lasts a lifetime. Originally from a small town in Southern California, she now lives in Northern Virginia with her two boys, Dustin and Colton.

Episode introduction

‘Whether healing is possible or not, is irrelevant. It has to be possible for me because this is the life that I want, and I am not willing to give up.’ 

Rachel Tenpenny gave birth to twin girls Aubrey and Ellie on June 24th, 2008. They both died a few days after their birth. Rachel talks to us about her grieving and healing story and how she came to strongly believe that healing is possible

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Why and how healing is possible
  • A society that does not understand grief and how confused we are about grief 
  • What does it look like when ‘grief isn’t forever’? 
  • We don’t have to be isolated in our grief
  • Debunking grief myths
  • ‘Time heals all wounds’: Time is just time, it is what we choose to do with time
  • Grief skills are life skills and need to be learned

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

 Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

This really hurt

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image from personal archive

With a pain in my stomach, I write to you today. This week I received an email from one of my subscribers that really hurt.

She wrote:

I wish ppl would stop trying to make money off us. If you’ve known this kind of tragedy (losing your only child) you know there are setbacks, depression, loss of job, spouse, etc. It’s so unnecessary. So I’m unsubscribing and marking spam.

It pains me to be misunderstood, my passion to be taken the wrong way.

I do know of setbacks: I have experienced the loss of a child, dealt with trauma from the aftermath of my mother’s suicide, sexual abuse, and burnout. And – most recently – divorce.

This is part of why I’m doing what I’m doing!

I want to be honest with you: This is my passion:

–> to support YOU who are dealing with grief and trauma.

It is my life’s work.

My heart is in my work

Still, I also earn my living from supporting people: working with clients, writing and selling books, giving courses. All of this requires my time and my creative work.

It requires investment in my personal as well as professional resources outside of myself. For example:

  • costs for book self-publishing: cost for a editor and interior designer,
  • costs for my therapeutic work: on-going professional training and memberships,
  • everyday business expenses such as: web hosting, book keeping and accounting, membership for the platform that sends you email newsletters.

…just to name a few.

I also do and have done a lot of unpaid work for the community and outreach work, donate my books regularly to grief support groups, give away free spots on my courses, etc. I feel in balance.

My work is not only born from personal life experience, it is grounded in solid professional training and years of professional experience.

Making money from people’s pain

If you believe, people like me ‘are making money off people in pain’, you’ve got it the wrong way around:

We are not making money off your pain, we are supporting your healing because we are passionate about healing and are earning our living while doing what is our passion.

Unsubscribe

The subscriber I quoted above did not unsubscribe. I deleted her email address because I do not need to pay to send her stuff she does not want.

Please, if you no longer benefit from the content I provide in my newsletters, unsubscribe through the link at the bottom of the email. No explanation is needed.

And: I’m surprised you’re reading this far.

Much Love ♥️

Birth and Death Anniversaries Are Hard

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Death anniversaries are the hardest.

Annonymous client

Death anniversaries are hard

She uttered the sentence in response to my public sharing on Instagram regarding the fact that it is 10 years since my girls were born and A’Mya died:

It also means that my grief journey with A’Mya is turning 10 years old. 10 years without her. ⠀
⠀
10. ⠀
⠀
I find it hard to believe that is already 10 years.⠀

10 years ago I was pregnant.
I knew it was my last day of pregnancy.
I knew it was the last day of Hope & Passion inside me.
Alive.
Together.
Side by side.
To be born tomorrow.

31 August 2011

It’s the time of year… birth, death, all intertwined… and I’m so wrapped up in my own physical reactions and responses to the memories that I didn’t have any capacity to remember much of anything else.

Grey’s Anatomy can trigger grief

The past few days, when I was resting (I broke my right little toe) I watched Grey’s Anatomy. In this episode, a mother had just given birth to an extremely premature little baby. The doctors are fighting for his life, discussing chances of survival, treatment plans, etc. while the parents (who happen to be also doctors) watch in despair.

And then it hits me as I’m watching the part where two doctors are reviewing the board with all the children who once were born early, been in the NICU, and are shown here as toddlers and children. “Some of them survive,” Alex says.

Synchronicity or self-torture?

I turn it off. Still, I will return to it. It’s not (just?) self-torture, it is integrating what has happened and building the resilience of being with those places in my memory, in peace, with sadness but without absolute hopelessness and dread.

To me, that is the result of grief work. My grief work.

Birth and death

In my experience, birth and death have been experienced in close proximity. Ananda Mae and A’Mya Mirica were born 10 years ago today.

Three days later, A’Mya died in my arms. Big sigh.

Birthday, and not just for me but also for Ananda Mae, is closely intertwined with the fact that her sister isn’t here today. I’ve noticed that in my young daughter now more so than ever before.

On the weekend she cried saying I just wished I could talk to A’Mya.

Last night she woke and couldn’t sleep between 12 and 1 am – synchronistically the time where the two sisters were born if we take the time difference into consideration.

And – another synchronicity – just as I’m typing this, it is 8.40 am – the time of day they were born.

Just a coincidence?

I don’t think so. In the past 10 years and even before that I have experienced far too many of those seeming coincidences.

Image: Personal archives

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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

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