love languages

Back by Popular Demand Series: Love Language Part 1 – Words of Affirmation

May 22, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Verbal compliments, or words of affirmation, are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation, such as:

“You look sharp in that suit.”
“Do you ever look nice in that dress! Wow!”
“You must be the best potato cook in the world. I love these potatoes.”
“I really appreciate you washing the dishes tonight.”
“Thanks for getting the baby-sitter lined up for tonight. I want you to know that I don’t take that for granted.”
“I really appreciate your taking the garbage out.”[Tweet “When have you last given your spouse a verbal compliment?”]

What would happen to the emotional climate of a marriage if the husband or the wife heard such words of affirmation regularly?

Within every language, there are many dialects. Here below you will find just a few but in the end you need to understand your spouse’s dialect. [Read more…] about Back by Popular Demand Series: Love Language Part 1 – Words of Affirmation

Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages and their use in the Workplace

August 16, 2011 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

My friend and colleague Cath Lawrence from Kandula just wrote a great post on exactly this topic: Applying the 5 languages of love in the workplace.

This reminded me of the multifaceted usability of Gary Chapman’s approach. If you want to read more about the different love languages, you can find plenty of my articles about it here (click here). His approach on teaching us how different people show love and how different people feel the love that you’re intending to show them has been an integral part of counselling couples, families and children to understand themselves and each other better. When I’ve worked with this model with couples I have many times that they come back reporting how it not only improves their relationship with each other but also taught them something about how to relate to their work colleagues, employees, friends, children etc.[Tweet “Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages and their use in the Workplace”]

Personal Benefit

I also found that [Read more…] about Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages and their use in the Workplace

Love Language Part 4 – Acts Of Service

September 12, 2008 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, moving the grass, changing the cat’s litter tray, etc are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.

Within every language, there are many dialects. If you have a spouse with Acts of Service as her primary love language, find the specific things she would like to you help her with by asking her. If you are the person with that specific love language, make a list for your spouse with the things that would help you most.

Remember: love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.

Overcoming Stereotypes

Learning the love language of acts of service will require some of us to re-examine out stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives. Our actions are influenced by the model of our parents, our own personality, and our perception of love, our emotions, needs, and desires. Only one thing is certain about our behaviour: It will not be the same behaviour we exhibited when we were caught up being ‘in love’.

A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary in order to express love more effectively. Remember, there are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes, but there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of your spouse.

If your spouse’s love language is ACTS OF SERVICE: [Read more…] about Love Language Part 4 – Acts Of Service

The Five Love Languages

October 30, 2007 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

So what are the 5 Love Languages? Each person feels and shows love in different ways. Let’s see if you recognize yourself and your loved ones by reading the description of the 5 Love Languages.

Click here to read the description of the 5 types. You can rate the article on the bottom of the page, if you wish. Once you’ve read the article you can answer the question below:

1. What is my primary love language?
2. What is my partner’s primary love language?
3. How can I show my partner my love in the way she/he understands the best?

If you’re not sure, ask you partner: ‘What would make you feel loved right now?’
You might choose to start a list with ideas on what makes him/her happy and use the ideas on a daily basis. Watch how your relationship is blossoming!