• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

  • Books
    • NEW BOOK! Bridging The Grief Gap
    • Shop
      • My Account
    • Amazon shop
  • About Me
    • Media Links
    • Work with Me
      • Counselling and Coaching
  • Resources
    • Courses
      • May We All Heal 2022 – A New Beginning
    • Donate
    • Grievers Support
    • Supporters Resources
    • Grieving Parents Support Network
    • Grief Quotes (Downloads)
    • Free Downloads
  • Blog
  • Podcast
    • Listen Here
    • Show Notes
  • English

nlp

Meta Programs – Discounting and Counting

December 4, 2013 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

making a list
Photo by Cathryn Lavery on Unsplash

Meta Programs are processes that operate at a metal level, which influence other lower mental levels (meta meaning ‘above’). They help you understand how you (and others) make sense of the world, and how you shape your values, beliefs and behaviours. The term meta-programs comes from the world of NLP and is widely used in self-development, coaching and counselling.

Translated into everyday language meta-programs would be ‘thinking habits’. Depending on whom you asked there are almost 100 different meta-programs that have been identified so far (according to L. Michael Hall).

Does this count? Or not?

This meta program is called Discounting versus Counting and looks at how you habitually look at what you have achieved. If you simply think about how you look back at today’s actions, are you noticing and counting the things you have done or rather discounting them by saying something like “ah, that’s nothing” or “that’s normal, everyone has to do this”.

The famous “To Do list”…

Many of you reading this use something to remind you to get things done. It’s usually in list form and states all the errands and things that still have to get done. This list might get updated with more things to do but those items that have been delivered or finished usually disappear without much celebration. You might, for a short moment, be relieved of having done something but then the focus is on “ok, what’s next?”

Have you done enough?

If you suffer from overwhelm, truth is that you are probably sorting much more for the things that you haven’t done and discounting the things that you have. As a ‘human doing’ we have learnt from an early age that we are only ever as good as what we have done. This is a belief worth reconsidering and updating if you still fully stand behind it.

Starting to count

How about a new list called “Things I have achieved list”? This would be the first subtle change toward counting. You might wonder “but what’s the point of that?” which is just another discounting statement. The fact is once we start to really appreciate who we are, what we have and are doing as opposed to beating us up for who we are not, what is left to be done or didn’t have time, we will notice a letting-go, a relaxation and a shift to self-appreciation.

Filed Under: coaching, self development/motivation Tagged With: coaching, counting, discounting, meta program, meta programs, nlp

Smart Goal Setting

April 2, 2010 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

dart board
Photo by Silvan Arnet on Unsplash

One of the basic patterns in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is about forming ‘Well-Formed Outcomes’. Most of the solution-focused forms of therapy and cutting edge developmental tools like coaching and counselling focus on the desired outcome when dealing with a desire for change.

How to form a ‘Well Formed Outcome’?

The questions we ask in coaching and counselling can also be applied to yourself when you want to clarify a future outcome. Ask yourself:

What do I want to achieve?

If a miracle happened tonight, and tomorrow I did not have the problem (or I achieved what I set out to achieve), how would I know? What would I notice to be different? What do I have to let go of?

What are the specific steps and questions to make an outcome well-formed?

1. State in the positive

What do I really want? Not what you do not want.

2. State what you can do and maintain

Is my goal something I can do myself? What can I do today that will move me towards my goal? If your goal depends on others you will not have full control over it.

3. When, where, how, with whom?

Give your brain clear and detailed information regarding what you want to happen.

4. State in sensory-based words

If I were to see myself on a video having achieved the outcome, what would I see?

5. Steps and stages

What are the steps that I can take now? Use small and simple, bite-size steps so your goal becomes do-able.

6. Add resources

What resources do I need to make my dream come true? Add these resources as steps to your action plan.

7. Evidence for fulfillment

How will I know that I have achieved my goal? What will I see, hear, feel when I am there?

8. Make it compelling

Is my desire compelling, exciting, worth my effort? If it is not, choose something else.

9. Check ecology

Does my goal fit into my life?

Filed Under: coaching, communication, counselling, self development/motivation Tagged With: achieving dreams, goal setting, nlp, smart goal setting, well-formed outcome

Primary Sidebar

Cart

Subscribe for updates
    Built with ConvertKit
    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

    Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Affiliate Disclosure

    Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich | All Rights Reserved

    We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However you may visit Cookie Settings to provide a controlled consent.
    Cookie settingsACCEPT
    Manage consent

    Privacy Overview

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
    Necessary
    Always Enabled
    Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
    CookieDurationDescription
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
    viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
    Functional
    Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
    Performance
    Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
    Analytics
    Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
    Advertisement
    Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
    Others
    Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
    Save & Accept