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Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

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therapy

Knowing When to Get Help

December 8, 2011 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

sleeping woman lying on wooden pole
Photo by Katie Moum on Unsplash

As a counsellor, coach or another therapist we are not exempt from needing help, just like any of our clients. We all do face life issues that we cannot easily deal with ourselves and need an outside expert to support us. Even though we work in the field of supporting people it does not mean we can easily fix all our own problems.

Like any doctor who at times needs to see a colleague, so do counsellors. But when is it the right time? This is the exact same question that you will be asking yourself, before calling and making an appointment with a counsellor. Let me share you my experience in making the decision to make the call.

With the recent challenges I experienced with the passing of one of my twins two days after she was born I was facing the hardest times I ever had to go through in my life. The grief on one side and the joy of new motherhood on the other side, including the sleep deprivation and learning how to be a parent put me under big strain, emotionally, mentally and physically. Even though I was coping most of the times, there were times when I was not. In the good times I would think ‘it is fine, I’m able to do this on my own’ but in the tough times I really wasn’t all that fine – understandable under the circumstances.

There came the time that the tough times were too frequent and unsustainable over time. My life normally was built on the base of good times with sprinkles of challenges and annoyances. The life that I was living now however was the opposite; it was as if tough times were the undercurrent of my life.

If you were to compare your ‘normal life’ with how you are now, how different is it? Can you really live with how it is now? Is it just an exception or is it a trend? Answering these questions made me seek help.

I do not expect the person I am seeing to solve my problems or fix my issues. Some of the things that I am dealing with cannot be solved ever. That is not the point of seeing someone. She helps me deal with the challenges I am facing, she supports me in gaining a different perspective and think about upcoming potential pitfalls before I fall in again. And the most important benefit I get from the sessions is that she normalizes my situation, my emotions, and my reactions. She makes me feel normal, where I am an expert in being hard on myself. She does not make my life easy but she definitely helps to ease and softens my tough side or challenges my judgmental side.

All in all, I would say that if you are asking yourself the question of whether it is time to ask for help, do it. If you were in victim mentality, you probably would not ask the question anyway…

Filed Under: coaching, counselling, health, self development/motivation Tagged With: asking for help, counselling, get help, grief, supervision, therapy

Working Through Childhood Issues

November 5, 2009 By Nathalie Himmelrich 2 Comments

mother and daughter on the beach
Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

Have you ever realised that you have different attitudes in bringing up your children than your partner? I bet you have, otherwise you might be partly in denial or not be too involved in the education of them. The reason why the attitudes differ might be connected to the differences in your unresolved childhood issues.

Through my experience in therapy, it has become very obvious that many of our attempts to ‘do the best for our children’, be it by teaching our children, supporting them in finding their own way, showing them the right way to act, being mindful of our fellow human beings etc are a way to resolve some of the unresolved issues of our own childhood. This obviously does not just apply to child-rearing; we could in fact look at many other areas in life and find the same pattern operating.

Let’s have a look at an example: John is taking care of his 14-year-old step-son Mark while his wife Julie (the mother) is at work. Mark asks to go to a friend’s place to which John agrees under the circumstance of Mark returning at 5.30 pm. When Mark has not returned home by 6.30 pm John is worried and mentions to Julie that they should pick him up. Julie does not see the problem in Mark being out at this time and does not understand John’s worry. They start to argue the point to which in the end Julie storms out the door and goes to pick up Mark.

[Read more…] about Working Through Childhood Issues

Filed Under: love/relationship/marriage, parenting, self development/motivation Tagged With: blended family, childhood issues, counselling, NARM therapy, relationship, therapy

Therapy – really?

October 27, 2009 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Photo by Finn on Unsplash


Today I would like to thank Lorna Martin who wrote the book called  ‘Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown‘ for showing the courage, honesty and openness to tell the story of her experience being in therapy.

Here a quote from her book:

‘Of all the lessons I learned during that bizarre journey with her [her therapist], I think the most valuable was about not suppressing or denying  emotions and not leaving important things unsaid or only partially said. I know now, thanks to her, that attempting to avoid uncomfortable or difficult feelings – whether of loss or love or rage or jealousy – leads to greater and long-lasting pain.’

Nowadays most of the books I read are about self-development, the expansion of consciousness and awareness, psychologically interesting material or research in human development. I thoroughly enjoyed this novel by Lorna and can highly recommend it to anyone who thinks that therapy is for the weak and needy and selfish…

Filed Under: inspiration/humour, self development/motivation Tagged With: psychotherapy, therapy, women on the verge of a nervous breakdown

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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

    Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich