It is so easy to say ‘I should not have done that’ or ‘I made the wrong decision’. What if, in fact, you are always making the right decision at any given time? Can you accept and do you want to accept this statement? Let’s look at why this is the case.
How we make decisions
Generally speaking we all make decisions on a daily basis. From what we are going to eat for breakfast to which way we walk or drive to work to any other little things in life, which you might not consciously be aware of. Unconsciously you are weighing up the different options and then choose the best one available. Usually this happens in a split second and we move on to the next decision.
When decisions are hard to make
Why is it sometimes that some of us find it hard to make certain decisions? There are a few reasons: 1. The options are of comparative similar benefit, 2. You don’t want to make a decision because it would exclude another option or options or 3. You have over-thought the options, there are too many to choose from and / or you are simply overwhelmed and don’t have enough facts.
Some people I work with in my clinic have found themselves to be ‘decision-phobic’ for fear of making the wrong decision and later regretting it, or for fear of putting other people off.
Decisions happen at a certain time with a certain perspective
Any decision happens at a specific moment in time. At this time you will have a certain kind of perspective on the topic, know some facts and do not know others. Given all these ingredients you generally make the best decision available to you, with the resources – personal, physical, inner qualities, money, time etc. – you have available.
Oh no! I made the wrong decision!
You will only ever be able to utter this statement after some time has passed, you changed your perspective and / or you have more information now than you had at the time you made the decision. Once you fully acknowledge this last sentence the only thing you can say is that you might want to change you mind or that you would have chosen otherwise, would you have known then, what you know now.
This knowing releases some of the disapproval we might give ourselves for not knowing better in the past, what we were not able to know anyway. Let yourself off the hook, accept that you did the best you could then and make the best out of the situation in the now.