• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

  • Books
    • NEW BOOK! Bridging The Grief Gap
    • Shop
      • My Account
    • Amazon shop
  • About Me
    • Media Links
    • Work with Me
      • Counselling and Coaching
  • Resources
    • Courses
      • May We All Heal 2022 – A New Beginning
    • Donate
    • Grievers Support
    • Supporters Resources
    • Grieving Parents Support Network
    • Grief Quotes (Downloads)
    • Free Downloads
  • Blog
  • Podcast
    • Listen Here
    • Show Notes
  • English

Death Anniversary – How to Deal With Them?

January 16, 2023 By Nathalie Himmelrich 11 Comments

Death Anniversary

This week on Thursday it will be 11 years since my mother died from suicide following years of battling with depression.

Grief still works through me. This year, I am approaching the anniversary very consciously, starting with writing this today.

Table of Contents

  • How do I approach death anniversaries?
    • Remembrance
    • Self-care
    • Create meaning

How do I approach death anniversaries?

Remembrance

I let myself sit with feelings as they come and go, choose to look at memories and photos in honour of her, become teary looking at certain ones, plan to visit the cemetery and give myself time for remembrance, and also time off when needed.

Self-care

I make sure I create space to allow what I might or might not expect: emotional up and downs, lack of motivation to do anything… whatever it might be this time.

Create meaning

In different years in the past, I purposely chose something to make it a meaningful day, such as: donating my books to the hospital, creating a circle of people who know her and sharing memories, and planting flowers, just to name a few. Last year I bought 10 red roses and brought them to my mother’s grave. Read more about the years prior here…

🙋🏻‍♀️ How about you? What is the best way for your to deal with your loved one’s death anniversary?

Image Credit: Alexander Grey, Unsplash.com

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ann says

    January 16, 2023 at 7:27 pm

    My mum died 33 years ago, my nana 16 years ago, my son just over 8 years. I still pause on my mum’s anniversary, I have an ice cream for my nana. For my son I pause and reflect

    Reply
    • Nathalie Himmelrich says

      January 18, 2023 at 7:58 pm

      That’s beautiful Ann.
      Thank you for sharing. I love the way you pause, reflect, and have ice cream in remembrance of your Nana.
      Much Love Nathalie

      Reply
  2. Joyce Cerundolo says

    January 16, 2023 at 9:53 pm

    My son died suddenly of unknown cardiomyopathy, it will be 26 months on the 20th, just sobbed, as I made beef stew for the first time since he died, which was the meal I made the night my daughter called, he was gone in one hour, walked in with his wife, no one could say good bye or pray, I saw him every weekend with his son, not close to the mother, my son would call every night, I miss him so much, I believe in my heart he is in heaven with Jesus, but he was my only joy, I have lost all elders and best friends, the loneliness is deafening……I am in grief share group, therapy on meds, am I normal to be so sad all the time, I’m doing the basics, not extras, he was like me, always happy, now it’s just so hard…my daughter has 3 girls thank God, but she is more like my husband, moody, not as bad as him…..my life is forever changed and I hate it now……sorry, I’m honest to a fault, he was 49, his son was 5, now 7, lived only 4-5 miles away same as daughter…….meeting tonight…..thank God……blessings, Joyce

    Reply
    • Nathalie Himmelrich says

      January 19, 2023 at 10:15 am

      Dear Joyce,
      I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. It seems you are dealing with his loss, but also loneliness, and potentially challenging family relationships and it is completely understandable that you are grieving. You also write about the support that you have with the grief share group, therapy etc. Sometimes grief can become complicated by other issues creating an overwhelming feeling which makes it challenging to be able to digest the grief. Wishing you all the best, Nathalie

      Reply
  3. Kirsty says

    January 17, 2023 at 4:31 am

    This Saturday 21st 9f January will be my daughter’s 2nd year. I have been riding the waves of grief approaching this time for about a month the anticipation of the day of her accident till the day she passed. I recently lost my mum so have decided to celebrate both their lives together as well as my dad’s life. We have planed to let go of balloons have a BBQ drink have photos and share stories. Every day is hard but the love and unity from my beautiful family and friends makes all the difference.

    Reply
  4. Sherry Bright says

    January 17, 2023 at 5:48 am

    Thankyou It has been since Sept 14 2015. The girl that killed her got 50 to 80 But with parole an all who knows. I just don’t think she should just get to get on with her life. I told the Judge I didn’t think she should get to enjoy the life she took from All of us. I usually don’t do the Seath anniversary thing usually Celebrate her Birthday Let purple balloons fly up to her insmllins fly away it was her Favorite color have a little family reunion then come home an Cry for a t least 2 weeks again not sure if I ever quit, I can say theres something worse than the pain of giving Birth an its endless

    Reply
  5. Sherry Bright says

    January 17, 2023 at 5:58 am

    She had a Beatifull Sole an an a Beatiful Smile Always helping others even if she had other things to get done

    Reply
  6. PAMELA MOORE says

    January 17, 2023 at 10:39 am

    I lost my confidence, best friend, reason for living on July 4, 2015. He was my son, Jami Ryan Moore. That was rough but I thank God that he let me have my Daddy for the following two years to help me. My daddy, my hero, my heart died in February 15, 2017. I always thought it would get better but it doesn’t. It is hard for me just to talk about either of them without tearing up. Therapy has been suggested but that is only telling the therapist my story while still crying, so that confuses me. I know God is in control and I know she don’t make mistakes. But…..

    Reply
    • Nathalie Himmelrich says

      January 18, 2023 at 7:56 pm

      Dear Pamela,
      I’m sorry for the loss of your son and your father.
      Therapy – or at least the kind of therapy I offer – is not just about telling your story. It is about finding ways to integrate the loss into your life.
      I hope you have the support you need around you and in your faith.
      All my love, Nathalie

      Reply
  7. Sherry L Bright says

    January 17, 2023 at 3:44 pm

    I dont celebrate the Day we lost her we just Shaew our Amber syorieshawyiny lost her , We are still celebrating her Birthsay an an talk about how Speacial she still is to all of us

    Reply
    • Nathalie Himmelrich says

      January 18, 2023 at 7:20 pm

      I didn’t understand everything you wrote, Sherry.
      Beautiful that you are celebrating her birthday – I’m so sorry for your loss.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Cart

Subscribe for updates
    Built with ConvertKit
    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

    Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Affiliate Disclosure

    Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich | All Rights Reserved

    We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However you may visit Cookie Settings to provide a controlled consent.
    Cookie settingsACCEPT
    Manage consent

    Privacy Overview

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
    Necessary
    Always Enabled
    Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
    CookieDurationDescription
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
    viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
    Functional
    Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
    Performance
    Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
    Analytics
    Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
    Advertisement
    Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
    Others
    Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
    Save & Accept