• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

  • Books
    • NEW BOOK! Bridging The Grief Gap
    • Shop
      • My Account
    • Amazon shop
  • About Me
    • Media Links
    • Work with Me
      • Counselling and Coaching
  • Resources
    • Courses
      • May We All Heal 2022 – A New Beginning
    • Donate
    • Grievers Support
    • Supporters Resources
    • Grieving Parents Support Network
    • Grief Quotes (Downloads)
    • Free Downloads
  • Blog
  • Podcast
    • Listen Here
    • Show Notes
  • English

Self Knowledge – Ideal Self And Real Self

April 17, 2011 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

children running in a field
Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

Are you often disappointed with yourself? Are you noticing thoughts like ‘I shouldn’t be doing or thinking this’? Are you being hard on yourself for not reaching your goals? The reason might be that there are big gaps between your ideal self-image and your real self.

Table of Contents

  • Getting to know your Ideal Self
  • Hidden part of the Ideal Self
  • What’s my Ideal Self?
  • Measuring up
  • Self-acceptance

Getting to know your Ideal Self

Consciously or unconsciously we all walk around with an idealized image of ourselves. Setting goals might be the more obvious and conscious one. Being unhappy about our body shape, size or weight might go more unconsciously.

To get familiarized with the Ideal Self that you have created, start by listening and paying attention to your thoughts and words. It might come concealed in statements like ‘I’m not as quick writing this report as I should be’ or ‘Wow, this guy is really self-assured’. Often expectations we set ourselves might be tied up with things we aspire to or admire in others, or, on the contrary, things we envy or ‘apparently’ disregard in others.

Hidden part of the Ideal Self

Thoughts or words like ‘Oh look at her, she’s such a slut’ might hide parts of you that would wish to be seen as more sexy or attractive. If you’re a guy you might think ‘All he cares for is his money, car, and boat’ which might allude to the fact that you secretly wish to be more successful but haven’t yet allowed yourself to have that desire.

What’s my Ideal Self?

To find out what you measure yourself against it is useful to inquire about your image of your Ideal Self.

Ask yourself:

  • What do I openly or secretly wish for?
  • What do I want myself to be, to have, to look like?
  • What do I secretly want that I wouldn’t want anyone else to know?
  • Where am I upset with myself for not being as good as, as… as someone else?
  • The more honest and un-censoring you can be, the more clarity you will gain from these questions.

Measuring up

Your Ideal Self is what you measure yourself up against. Depending on the picture that you’ve drawn with the question in the last section you might realize what you have set up for yourself. Imagine your boss would constantly ask the impossible from you – how would you feel? With certain people’s Ideal Self image it is just that: an unattainable high standard, which fuels self-loathing and frustration.

Self-acceptance

Compare your Real Self with your Ideal Self and ask: Is this healthy? Is this good for me? If not, what would I need to change? The answer to this question can be to adjust expectations and make them more realistic and/or to practice more self-acceptance of the Real Self and become ‘real’. What’s your answer?

Filed Under: self development/motivation Tagged With: ideal self, real self, self

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Cart

Subscribe for updates
    Built with ConvertKit
    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

    Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Affiliate Disclosure

    Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich | All Rights Reserved

    We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However you may visit Cookie Settings to provide a controlled consent.
    Cookie settingsACCEPT
    Manage consent

    Privacy Overview

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
    Necessary
    Always Enabled
    Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
    CookieDurationDescription
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
    viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
    Functional
    Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
    Performance
    Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
    Analytics
    Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
    Advertisement
    Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
    Others
    Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
    Save & Accept