Recently when coaching a couple regarding their communication I heard myself comment on their way of engaging with each other when listening and heard myself say: “You don’t need to say much in order for someone to feel really listened to.” Having said that, there are some things you need to do or say, even when you are the listener. Let’s have a closer look at the communication rules of active listening.
Rules for Active Listeners:
- Maintain contact, depending on cultural traditions this can be eye contact or sitting together
- Focus on what the other person is saying
- Make sure you have an open body language or try mirroring the speaker’s body language (without mimicking)
- Use non-verbal cues (mm-hm, ah, OK) to let the other know you are listening
- Put your agenda, your thoughts, to the side while listening
- Reflect back to the other person what you think they meant
- Do not simply rely on your assumption of what you understood, check with the other person