Life Is Not Fair, Get Used To It

Bill Gates said: ‘Life is not fair, get used to it.’ He is right. Some of you might cringe hearing this, some of you might want to negotiate over this fact and others might simply use some fatalistic sentence like ‘When it’s meant to be it will happen.’ Unfortunately, any of these approaches won’t help you when you experience really painful ‘unfairness’.

First of all we have to understand that what is fair and what is not is a question of perception. Fairness in life is not based on a rulebook with which experiences can be measured. What you mean by ‘being fair’ is your personal definition based on your values, which does not necessarily have to coincide with another person’s value system.

Growing up we learn to play by the rules and that is what makes a game fair. But who wrote those rules? Who determined them to be the yardstick of ‘fairness’? The reason for rules in games is so they can be played without having to negotiate constantly throughout the game and to be able to have fun. You might remember playing a game where the players remembered different versions of the rules and argued about them as opposed to playing the game? Yes, it is not fun.

In real life there are no rulebooks. Rules are made up according to someone’s value system and therefore fairness, meaning being just to everyone, is dependent on those values.

In society many structures are designed to ensure advantages for one side. Companies, government bodies, even countries create ways to ensure they are getting the best, most, highest, fastest etc. out of whatever is on demand. Looking from the other side it often does not seem fair.

So what is there to do about it? Simple: accept it, deal with it and move on. Sorry, there is no easy way out or process to change the world. Your relationship with the fact that ‘Life is not fair’ will determine how you handle situations that might seem unfair and therefore change your internal state.

Change your perception – change your state. It is in YOUR control.