This episode is different. Instead of sitting across from a guest, I am the one in the chair.
Fifteen years ago, my daughter Amaya was born at 34 weeks and 5 days — about five weeks early — alongside her identical twin sister, and died two days later after we made the hardest decision of our lives. In this solo episode, recorded on the anniversary itself, I walk you through that week in the NICU — and then through what fifteen years of time has, and hasn’t, done to my grief.
My intention isn’t to dwell on the loss itself, but on the question underneath it: what does time actually do to grief? I share the distinction I’ve come to rely on with my own clients — that loss is a fact, unchanging, while grieving is a living process that keeps changing shape. I also look at how memory itself works, why some moments from that week are as vivid today as they were then, and why fifteen years haven’t erased the sadness — nor should it.
“Loss is a fact. It will not change, as much as you want it to. Grieving, however, is a process — and this is why I prefer ‘grieving’ over ‘grief.'”
If you’re carrying a loss that people expect you to be “over” by now, if you’ve ever been told time heals all wounds and wondered why it hasn’t for you, or if you support someone whose grief doesn’t fit a tidy timeline, this episode is for you.
Free resources mentioned in this episode are available at nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub, including the Beginner’s Guide to Dealing with Grief and Trauma.
Rate this podcast five stars if it helps you feel less alone. It takes thirty seconds and helps more grieving and traumatised people find this show when they need it most.
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