... my dead child... Sometimes I fall into the trap of what I believe other people must be thinking when reading my posts and ask myself this Q. Today I came across this song and something in me happened. I remembered why. And it touched me deeply. I actually cried just now as I was watching the 'only few' pictures we have from A'Mya.And I realised: Grief doesn't have to be 'fresh' to be felt Remembering matters because it is the only time we have with them This is the time when I mother my daughter A'Mya The only place she lives is in my heart and in my memory. By sharing her with you I keep myself sane and authentic And if this - by any chance - triggers you It is not because of my sharing or because of me 'still talking about her' It is because something in you is touched and this feels uncomfortable Because truly - you can imagine losing a child even if you say 'I can't imagine what you went through' you could - if you'd so choose to - but you'd rather not meet that pain and anguish that deep inside you, you know Because let's face it: Loss is inevitable Grief is a given you are human and bound to experience this On the other side of birth is death On the other side of a hello is a goodbye Embrace it, lean into it Grief is Love
from personal experience
Keem Fares on How Grief Evolves From Survival | Episode 25
Today on the podcast I’m speaking with Keem Fares, the mother of Karina, a spirited intelligent young gymnast, who died in a freak accident when she was 12 years old.
In our conversation, we draw the connection from early grief to when we worked on the book Surviving My First Year of Child Loss in 2017 to now, 8 years after Karina’s death.
I can highly recommend listening to this episode with Keem because she so beautifully describes how grief has affected her life, her relationship, and her faith and how it has evolved from pure survival to how she experiences it now, after 8 years.
This was without a doubt the most interesting conversation I had on the topic of how faith and grief interact, especially given the fact that I would call myself a strongly spiritual but non-religious person.
About this week’s guest
Keem Fares is a Non-Profit professional and holds a leadership position in Financial Operations. Originally from Mexico herself, she met her husband in Cairo, Egypt, where they lived for 15 years before moving to San Diego, California in 2011.
Keem struggles to rediscover herself after the accidental death of her 12-year-old daughter, Karina, in 2015. She finds joy in her son Mark, and together with her husband, they rely on their faith in hope. They established Karina’s Joy Foundation to perpetuate Karina’s joyful spirit and giving nature through youth scholarships and acts of kindness.
She says, “I don’t have answers. I simply intentionally survive one moment, one day, one week, one month, one year…and then I do it again. Maybe, someday I’ll have survived enough to live and perhaps even thrive. In the midst of my own darkness, I can trust and hope that a rainbow might appear. One stormy day at a time, I am expecting rainbows.”
Topics discussed in this episode
- The impact of her teenage daughter’s death on her life
- How grief evolved from surviving to becoming ‘comfortable’ with grief
- Pre-grief in the times before death-anniversaries
- Finding comfort in community online
- Social media offering both comfort and triggers
- What grief looks like 8 years later, effects on relationship and faith
Resources mentioned in this episode
- The book including Keem and Karina’s story Surviving My First Year of Child Loss
Links
–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.
–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.
–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.
Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com
If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.
HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Support this Podcast
To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.
Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.
Nathalie with Miten on Life’s Trauma and the Healing Through Music | Episode 18
Today I have the pleasure to speak with Miten who I’ve known for almost 20 years through his and Deva’s music. Miten shares the traumas he’s experienced throughout his life and how he’s found the healing power of music.
Miten says:
If there is one thing, I would say that’s helped me, that is to sing. And as much as I can, I tell people, not just our community who are into singing anyway, but… church choirs. Find a choir, find a Gospel choir, you know – sing! Because when you are singing, your heart starts to lift, your burden lift, your spirit lifts. It’s not a joke, it’s real and it’s important and it’s a commitment.
Miten
The mantras hold a special place in my heart and my personal healing so I can highly recommend checking out their music on their website, Spotify or wherever you listen to music.
About this week’s guest
Miten was born in London and grew up in the 60s. He later went on to establish a successful career for himself in the 70s as a noted singer/songwriter, releasing several albums including one for Ariola Records under the guidance of legendary American producer Bones Howe. He toured extensively, opening for Fleetwood Mac, Randy Newman, Hall and Oats, Lou Reed, Ry Cooder, Fairport Convention, and The Kinks, among others. This period of his life was exciting but left him spiritually unfulfilled.
After reading a book of the discourses on Zen from Osho (No Water No Moon), Miten had an epiphany and began an inner search. He left everything he had known before, even selling his guitars, and traveled to India, embracing life as a member of the community that had gathered around Osho.
It was there he met his life partner, Deva Premal, and they are now renowned worldwide for their fusion of western music with Sanskrit mantras. Together they have presented their music in as many as 45 countries while accumulating accolades from such diverse admirers as Cher and HH the Dalai Lama, with album sales in excess of one million copies.
Website: Deva Premal and Miten
Topics discussed in this episode
- Childhood traumas
- Leaving behind his family, letting go of his life, his identity, and his career as a musician, and joining Osho’s ashram
- Healing through meditation, chanting, and being in presence of a Guru and finding music again
- The physical trauma of a double heart by-pass surgery
Resources mentioned in this episode
- Film: Mantra – Sounds Into Silence
- Tara Mangalartha Mantra with India Arie
Links
–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.
–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.
–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.
Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com
If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.
HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Support this Podcast
To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.
Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.
Nathalie with Lisa Boehm on the Loss of Her Teenage Daughter | Episode 16
Lisa Boehm heard a knock at the door just as she had gone to bed, and it was the police coming to let her know that her teenage daughter had died in a head-on collision.
Lisa tells us how she picked up the pieces of her shattered life and how she found ways to thrive and not just survive. From getting support from other moms in her community she now offers support to grieving moms.
Lisa says:
I think I learned a lot from other grieving moms who were further down the path. Sometimes it was just little snippets that they would say or different things… They gave me hope and I think learning that everybody copes with grief differently, that little nugget right there was enough to carry us through.
Lisa Boehm
About this week’s guest
Lisa K. Boehm’s life changed forever when her daughter died suddenly in a car accident. She quickly discovered that our society struggles with death, loss, and grieving and has made it her mission to change that. In her book Journey to HEALING: A Mother’s Guide to Navigating Child Loss, she shares her experience with grief and how it intensified her love for her daughter. Now she focuses on gratitude and living intentionally as a way to honour her daughter’s memory. Lisa is an author, speaker, and certified grief educator who helps bereaved moms move beyond the pain to find peace and purpose.
Website: www.griefsupportformoms.com
IG @griefsupportformoms
Topics discussed in this episode
- The loss of her teenage daughter Katie
- Suicidal thoughts and anger
- Surrounding herself with other women in the community
- Journaling as a resource to deal with grief
- Differences in grieving styles among family members
- Teenager’s grief/sibling’s grief
Resources mentioned in this episode
- Instrumental and intuitive grieving styles described in the book Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple
- Grief groups by the Compassionate Friends
Links
–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.
–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.
–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.
Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com
If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.
HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Support this Podcast
To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.
Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.
Nathalie with Amie Lands on Child Loss, Cancer, and Life’s Trauma | Episode 15
Today I speak with Amie where she shares how her life started with the loss of connection to her father due to mental illness and the challenging relationship with her alcoholic mother.
Amie then became pregnant for the first time, but her daughter Ruthie died after 33 days.
At 36 years, Amie was diagnosed with neck cancer which was successfully treated. She then shares how they moved across the States and their truck caught fire with many of their belongings including Ruthie’s memories gone.
Dealing with all those extreme situations, Amie learned and practiced one thing:
I live in this moment. I try not to think too much ahead of what’s to come next or what so many call future tripping. I don’t put myself in what could happen and so I really truly live today. I have a calendar and plan ahead, but I really just try and be in this moment.
Amie Lands
About this week’s guest
Amie Lands is the author of Navigating the Unknown, Our Only Time, Perfectly Imperfect Family, and the Tending to Your Heart series. She is a cancer survivor, founder of The Ruthie Lou Foundation, and a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®. Since her daughter’s brief life, Amie’s passion is offering hope and providing support to bereaved families. Amie lives in South Carolina, United States with her husband and their two sons.
Amie’s website: www.amielandsauthor.com
Instagram: @amielandsauthor
Topics discussed in this episode
- Early loss of her father through mental illness
- Early child loss and pregnancy after loss
- A neck cancer diagnosis at the age of 36
- Moving across the States and a fire that destroyed many personal belongings
- How to love somebody that isn’t part of your life
- Learning to ask for help
Resources mentioned in this episode
- The Me You Can’t See (show on mental illness, Apple TV)
Links
–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.
–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.
–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.
Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com
If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.
HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Support this Podcast
To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.
Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.
Nathalie with Sharon Ehlers on Dealing With Suicide | Episode 13
Today Sharon Ehlers and I dive into the topic of loss by suicide. We both share how we dealt with losing close people who took their own lives.
Sharon has lost multiple people in her life, two of which died by suicide. She shares so generously about all the tools and resources she found along her way that helped her deal with the losses after she realized that she wasn’t coping at all with the first loss of her best friend Joy. Attending to her grief and learning about death opened things for Sharon she wouldn’t want to miss and she says:
The one thing that has changed that I wouldn’t want to miss is the fact of finding what feeds your soul. Certainly, as an intellectual person, it’s been about work all of my life and achieving to the point of craziness. And so now it’s like, what feeds your soul, and, in many cases, it may not be what you currently do. It may not be your work, maybe something else. And finding that is important.
Sharon Ehlers
About this week’s guest
Sharon Ehlers’ grief and trauma journey began when her best friend as well as her former fiancé both died by suicide within two years of each other. Then her beloved Dad died unexpectedly from a fall. She was confused about why so many people either avoided her or didn’t want to talk about these events. Sharon tried to make sense of it all on her own, but “grief brain” made it tough to figure out what resources were available to help her.
After years of struggling, Sharon conceptualized a multidimensional approach to grief and loss using Reiki and other spirituality-based tools. This eventually became her successful book, Grief Reiki® – An Integrated Approach to the Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Components of Grief and Loss. She also co-authored Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss by Suicide a finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Book Excellence Awards, and the Best Book Awards.
Besides being an award-winning author, Sharon is also a Master Grief Coach Grief, Death Midwife, Reiki Master Teacher, and Medical Reiki Master. She has three beautiful children and lives in Los Angeles, CA. Her best lesson in life is: “Miracles do happen.”
Sharon’s Website: www.grief-reiki.com
Topics discussed in this episode
- Suicide: Sharon’s best friend Joy and ex-partner John both died by suicide
- The death of Sharon’s father
- Dealing with the topic of suicide and the grief and trauma following a suicide
- Trying to understand suicide and depression
- ‘How did it happen?’ – the repercussions of this question
Resources mentioned in this episode
- Grief Education Program: The Grief Recovery Method
- Death Midwife Program: Sacred Crossings
- Learn More About Reiki: International Association of Reiki Practitioners
- Medical Reiki: Medical Reiki International
- Suicide Loss Support Group: Didi Hirsch Suicide Prevention & Counseling (Los Angeles)
Links
–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.
–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.
–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.
Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com
If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.
HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Support this Podcast
To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.
Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.