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Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

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family of origin

What Is A Mother To You?

May 7, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

hand_on_pregnant_belly
I have a Mother’s Heart

With another Mother’s Day is just around the corner I have been invited to ponder the meaning and definition of Mother.

The Definition of a Mother

There is a distinct difference between mother as a noun, versus the action of mothering in the form of a verb. Reading the definition of a mother it says: a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth. The verb “to mother” means to bring up (a child) with care and affection, also referred to as “the art of mothering”. In the past to mother meant to give birth.

It is interesting to note that the person giving birth and the person bringing up a child with care and affection may not always be the same person.

Becoming a Mother

Throughout my early adult life I had the distinct feeling I would have two children before I turned thirty. I could imagine being a mother but really, this was just an idea and far from a real image of being a mother.

Later in life, once I decided I actively wanted children, I noticed a shift within me. The mother inside me was giving birth to itself.[Tweet “What is a Mother to you?”] [Read more…] about What Is A Mother To You?

Filed Under: ezinearticle, family of origin, parenting Tagged With: being a mother, mother, mothering

Relationship Wisdom – Old Family Patterns

September 25, 2013 By Nathalie Himmelrich 2 Comments

My husband, my daughter and I are currently sharing living space with my father and sometimes his new partner. Today after breakfast my father said to his partner: ‘I will do it!’, pointing at the dishes on the table, as she was rushing to get ready. As he carried out the plates into the kitchen, he asked me: ‘Can I just put the dishes here, or do you want me to wash them?’

Happy Ever After...
Happy Ever After…

My father is perfectly capable of doing the dishes and we even have a dishwasher. What was showing up was a little example of old family patterns playing out. Let me point them out to you:

1. I need help

Often in families there is one pattern where a person is pretending to be incapable of doing something to enrol others in doing it for them. He wanted me to do it for him by asking nicely, stressing on ‘do you want me to wash them?’ My answer was: ‘You can also put them in the dishwasher.’ [Read more…] about Relationship Wisdom – Old Family Patterns

Filed Under: communication, ezinearticle, family of origin Tagged With: family game, family pattern, family relationships, game

Mother’s Legacy

November 26, 2012 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

~ Retracing footsteps ~

“You will in time understand the complexity of my time here on earth…” were my mother’s words.

Just this morning I had an epiphany in regards to my mother’s choices in life. I was contemplating her ways in which she said things that she wanted us to do differently, her stoic responses and her sometimes very stubborn decisions and opinions. We as a family struggled many times with this situation.

Now I see it all with a bit more perspective. My mother was probably brought up with little room to have her own wishes and desires fully met. She must have learnt that having her own and sometimes out-of-the-box ideas was termed as ‘being difficult’ and so swallowed them for a long time. I guess that in relationship with my father she was putting her own needs behind every thing else that the family needed. For a long time… until the phoenix rose out of the ashes.

I sometimes couldn’t understand why [Read more…] about Mother’s Legacy

Filed Under: family of origin, grief/loss Tagged With: family, losing mother, loss of mother, mother

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