Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

coaching

What Shall I Write When A Baby Has Died?

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What Shall I Write When A Baby Has Died?

Writing a card for a baby who died? If yes, what shall I write?
I don’t want to upset the parents…

Today, this great and important question reached me by email.

I have a friend who has just given birth to twins very prematurely. One of them was unfortunately born dead and the surviving twin is understandably very ill. I want to send a card to them but also want to congratulate them on the birth of their surviving daughter at the same time acknowledging the death of the other. Any thoughts of a message I could use?

I can only answer from my personal experience and my preferences.
Obviously you should always take cultural, religious and societal differences into consideration when writing a card.
Think about the parents’ situation and not yours (in terms of religion, for example).

Acknowledge the babies and parents

First of all: always acknowledge the babies born, born alive and born still. 

When I gave birth to my twin girls, I loved and appreciated those people who sent me cards congratulating me to twins.

  • “Congratulations to the birth of your [two] daughter, sons, children.”
  • “New parents are being born – congratulations to the birth of [names].”
[Read more…] about What Shall I Write When A Baby Has Died?

9 Steps On How To Get Things Done

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quoteonbackground
Get organized and STAY calm

Have you ever experienced that some of your tasks never seem to get done, even though they might be important and some even urgent? It is because they trigger some aversion, fear, worry, insecurity or boredom. Here is how you can get them done.

1. Make a list

Put aside 20 minutes and a take a fresh notebook. Start by making a list of all those things that you want to get done. This will create some free mental space and release some of the worries around forgetting them or the repercussions of not completing them.

2. Sort your list

Go through your list and sort your items in four categories:
a) urgent and important,
b) urgent but not important,
c) important but not urgent,
d) neither urgent not important [Tweet “Planning saves you 40 times the time for execution”]

3. One off tasks or recurring jobs [Read more…] about 9 Steps On How To Get Things Done

The Secret Is In the Word – Choose Them Wisely

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Quoteonbackground
Choose your audience
Choose your words

As adults, we create meaning by the words we put onto experiences. “This was the worst day of my life” or “at least you have other children” are just examples of what we either say to ourselves, to others, either out loud or in our thoughts. The more we think something, the more we believe it, the more it affects us emotionally, the more it creates our emotional, physical and mental state.

Listen to yourself

Once you start to listen to yourself and become sensitized to the verbal flow, you start to wonder whether what you hear is actually what you want to listen to. “This won’t get any better” and “I’m such a loser” often go unnoticed as part of our mind chatter.

Listen to others

When however we hear others speak to us in less than favorable terms, we notice it often more quickly and feel it stronger. Derogatory statement hurt. Comments delivered without grace even though they are meant well, leave their painful scar. When others continuously speak to us in a way that leaves us feeling unsatisfied, we question or leave the relationship.[Tweet “If you decide to change, you only need to negotiate with yourself”] [Read more…] about The Secret Is In the Word – Choose Them Wisely

Drama Triangle And How To Avoid It

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figure stretching arms out escaping chain with lock
Let me out of here!

Getting hooked into a drama happens quickly, especially in close relationships. The following article will help you understand the different roles played and how to step out of the cycle altogether.

What Drama?

Stephen Karpman has first described the drama triangle in an article in 1968.  The model shows the three positions people often taken in an interaction: the victim, the persecutor and the rescuer.[Tweet “Get out of drama…”]

The situation usually starts with a person taking the role of a victim or a persecutor. Once the bait is out, other people are lured into playing the game and take on other roles. The game then continues by the two (or three) players switching roles: the victim turns into the rescuer, the rescuer switches to persecutor or the rescuer becomes a victim exclaiming: I just wanted to help! [Read more…] about Drama Triangle And How To Avoid It

6 Steps To Take When In Relationship Conflict – Relationship Wisdom

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man and women on bed kissing
win-win in conflict

Conflict in relationship is often the pivotal point that leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction of the relationship. Let’s have a look at conflict from a different point of view to turn it into opportunity to grow and learn instead of an “I win – you loose” scenario.

Relationship purpose

The ultimate purpose of every relationship, whether it is an intimate one or not, is to enable both of you to grow personally and interpersonally. Whenever we enter into a relationship there is this meeting place of two human beings finding out something new about themselves and each other. It really is the evolution of your own consciousness as well as the consciousness of interaction at large.

Avoiding conflict

Conflict is often seen as the opposite of intimacy. The reality of “me-against-you conflict” is that it reduces the feeling of safety, ability and willingness to be vulnerable. Avoiding conflict therefore is what seems like the most logical solution.[Tweet “What if conflict was not the opposite of intimacy? “] [Read more…] about 6 Steps To Take When In Relationship Conflict – Relationship Wisdom

How To Save Time By Planning

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inspirational quote saying same time plan ahead
…and re-work the plan regularly.

One of the key habits that successful people have is planning.  It is often what unsuccessful people refuse to do. In specific they develop written plans, which has to do with working smart rather than working hard.

Why plan?

According to time management experts every hour spent developing a written plan saves anywhere from two to forty hours of carrying the plan out. Imagine the gain in productivity.[Tweet “every hour spent developing a written plan saves anywhere from two to forty hours”]

Adjusting plans

From the NASA engineers who do their amazing jobs in successfully landing vehicles on the moon we can learn that in 99% of the time they need to adjust their plans. In other words, be prepared to hit challenges or unforeseen circumstances which will affect your planning. You can either get frustrated that it did not work out as planned or, like the NASA engineers, adjust and re-plan.

Trial & learning [Read more…] about How To Save Time By Planning