writing

Vulnerability and bravery. Two words that I wouldn’t easily put into one sentence. Grieving the death of my daughter and the subsequent years of healing have taught me both.

I’m practising being vulnerable and brave by sharing some personal insights from behind the scenes of the latest project I’ve been working on the past year.

Vulnerability and bravery go hand in hand

Vulnerability – posting about the idea of a new project, a resource book for bereaved parents, I had just intuitively conceived.

I had no plans, just an idea. The critics came right away asking questions and making judgments about things that I hadn’t thought through yet. Truthfully, I felt shattered and hurt. It’s not that I’m a bad planner. I just hadn’t done it yet. I jumped in excitedly wondering whether anyone would be interested at all.

Bravery. I continued anyway, despite the naysayers.

Starting without a plan takes courage

Vulnerability. I asked people to contribute to something that I was only just forming a plan for in my mind.

What would a charity project entail? I didn’t have the money to sponsor another book through production, editing, design etc. after having already done that for my previous three books.

Bravery. Some might call this faith, trust or fool-hearted stupidity. I just went along believing it would somehow come together. Now, a year later, the donations (click here if you would like to donate) are trickling in, and we are almost finished with the book. For me, this is bravery.

Finding your resilience and spreading hope

Vulnerability. I challenged the contributors to write about what gave them hope in the first year after the loss.

To go back through the story of loss is just one thing. Carefully searching for what actually helped me through the worst time in my life is a huge challenge.

Vulnerability and bravery were shown by each of the twenty-six contributors who went into their loss story again, into the depth of grief – the absolute opposite of an easy task – in the search for their resilience with the purpose of giving hope to the reader.

I cannot do this on my own

Vulnerability. My physical situation was challenging. My back started to become unbearably painful. I realized that I couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to complete this project on my own. This was my first project with different contributors. I hadn’t fully anticipated the extra work it would take to liaise with each writer through the process of editing.

Sometimes we have got to ask for help. In a BIG moment of a vulnerability, I sent a call out to the community and asked for help. I felt totally weak and unprofessional. The most beautiful and unexpected support came my way. It is now truly is a community project. A book written and produced by the community.

In April I started to go downhill physically and by end of July was walking on crutches and lying in bed 85% of my day. I could hardly sit, let alone work on the computer. I learned to ask and accept help. Again and again. In more ways, I ever thought possible.

Can you help me?

This is what this whole project is about: A hand reaching out to you when you are vulnerable and in need of support.
It takes bravery to realize and accept we need help.
You are brave when you look for help and accept being helped.

We want you to know that you are not alone in your vulnerability.

To know the company of others who’ve experienced what you’ve experienced is what can sustain you in your empty moments. We want to know you and your story. Are you brave enough to share with us your moments of vulnerability?

Can you help us?

Would you like to support this not-for-profit project? Please donate any amount so we are able to give books to parents who have just lost a child.
If you’re interested in the book, you can order it here.

Surviving My First Year of Child Loss – Personal Stories From Grieving Parents

The community of parents from the Grieving Parents Support Network has created a new support resource for bereaved parents.
Contributors to Surviving My First Year of Child Loss were asked to share personal and relational challenges they experienced in the first year of grief. The result is twenty-six heart-wrenchingly honest essays that communicate the individual way each parent coped during their first twelve months of loss.
More than anything else, the Surviving My First Year of Child Loss project invites grieving parents to find support in a community they never intended to join.

When I decided to do the 100 articles in 100 days challenge with EzineArticles I really could not image what writing all these 100 articles meant, let alone in 100 days. Before starting the challenge I had about 70 articles published in the more than three years being a member with EzineArticles. So you can imagine how often I published an article until that time.

At the Beginning

At the beginning of this year, I set myself a goal to write two articles per week. That was already a big step from one article once in a while to a commitment to me of two per week. When the article challenge was announced I felt pulled to up the ante and just go for it full speed.

Day 5

I was on holiday when the challenge started and therefore kept some articles on the ‘to be published’ pile so that I would not get behind right from the beginning. Still, I had to catch up to stay on track, because already in the first week my ‘article moments’ were less often than the days of the week. It is like training for a marathon: at the beginning, it creates a bit of pain and you still continue, keeping the goal in mind.

Day 10

I now let all my 450+ friends on Facebook and my 250+ clients know that I am taking part in this challenge. No way to back out…

With English being my fourth language I have asked my partner to proof-read them. I hope that he is getting some benefit out of my favourite topic and niche being ‘relationships’ and some of it we might even apply in our relationship. I wonder if he can make it through the challenge with me…

Day 20

I started out writing approximately an article every day until about day twenty. At that stage, I had already written more articles than days had passed, so I was giving myself a buffer in case I could not write one day. I am going well, still having fun seeing the number of articles rises and the number of remaining days falls.

Day 30

I am wondering how people find the time to write articles by the thousands as some of the higher ranking authors do. A recent blog question of EzineArticles about the most articles written and published in a day had one author answer with fifty! I simply could not imagine how they do that. Maybe it was a joke? Some of those authors writing many more article than me might need no one to proof-read them, I guess…

Day 40

We have come to day 40, at least in my time zone being Australia, and I have successfully published more than 50 articles! I’m halfway – celebration! I begin to get a glimpse of what 100 articles mean… and it is not over until the fat lady sings.

I have started an article series about introducing different selves, which I found highly beneficial for myself to remember and regain clarity. I have noticed that with writing more articles I have become less identified with the ‘Serious Self’ and more in touch with the ‘Funny Self’, do you agree? Well, if you don’t know, you might have to get to know my ‘Writer Self’.

The Benefits

The benefit I have already begun to notice is that my writing has become much easier-going, more creative and flowing. I simply do not have the time to research every topic that I am writing about in great depth. This means that I am sharing more personally from myself and my experience rather than collecting the knowledge of some experts and putting them together in an article.

I have also noticed that my ‘Writer Self’ is present most days, sometimes I already think about what I could write about today while still in bed in the morning. I will keep you posted.

Vulnerability Is Bravery