counselling

Why Your Are Not Successful in Communicating With Your Partner – Issues of Content

January 21, 2015 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

The real reason for communication failures is often the lack of awareness of what is really happening. If you understand what level your challenges truly are and what you are communicating about, whether it is content or structure, you are then able to deal with the real issues. This article will look at the issues of content.

Content issues:

Discussing more than one topic
Referencing past issues
Changing the topic
Assumptions and unspoken expectations
Consciously hiding important information
Adding different seemingly similar situations or topics

Stay with one topic!

[Read more…]

The Secret Is In the Word – Choose Them Wisely

June 23, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Quoteonbackground — Choose your audience
Choose your words

As adults, we create meaning by the words we put onto experiences. “This was the worst day of my life” or “at least you have other children” are just examples of what we either say to ourselves, to others, either out loud or in our thoughts. The more we think something, the more we believe it, the more it affects us emotionally, the more it creates our emotional, physical and mental state.

Listen to yourself

Once you start to listen to yourself and become sensitized to the verbal flow, you start to wonder whether what you hear is actually what you want to listen to. “This won’t get any better” and “I’m such a loser” often go unnoticed as part of our mind chatter.

Listen to others

When however we hear others speak to us in less than favorable terms, we notice it often more quickly and feel it stronger. Derogatory statement hurt. Comments delivered without grace even though they are meant well, leave their painful scar. When others continuously speak to us in a way that leaves us feeling unsatisfied, we question or leave the relationship.[Tweet “If you decide to change, you only need to negotiate with yourself”] [Read more…] about The Secret Is In the Word – Choose Them Wisely

Healing And Re-Parenting Your Inner Child

May 2, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Mother_kissing_child — Is it time yet to have the childhood of your dreams?

Sitting across from my husband and our daughter, while he was reading a bedtime story to her, I was reminded that my dad was not available to me in this way when I was a child. I distinctly remember a sentence he uttered when I was nineteen: “Your mother was responsible for the love in the house and I was responsible for bringing the money into the house.”

Parents are human too

Parents do the best they can with the resources they have at the time. They are not superman or superwoman. As I experience now, parenting is not an easy task, filled with challenges no matter how much I adore my daughter. I have an appreciation for what my parents offered us and I also have to deal with the shortcomings I experienced. One of those was my father’s absence.

Re-parent Yourself

Once you become an adult, it’s up to you to rewrite history. It’s never too late. Even though you can’t change the childhood you’ve experienced, you do have the potential to change what and how you like to imagine it could have been. Having children is a step in re-parenting yourself and healing your inner child, if you choose to.[Tweet “Dealing with the shortcomings of our own parents”] [Read more…] about Healing And Re-Parenting Your Inner Child

Drama Triangle And How To Avoid It

April 16, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

figure stretching arms out escaping chain with lock — Let me out of here!

Getting hooked into a drama happens quickly, especially in close relationships. The following article will help you understand the different roles played and how to step out of the cycle altogether.

What Drama?

Stephen Karpman has first described the drama triangle in an article in 1968. The model shows the three positions people often taken in an interaction: the victim, the persecutor and the rescuer.[Tweet “Get out of drama…”]

The situation usually starts with a person taking the role of a victim or a persecutor. Once the bait is out, other people are lured into playing the game and take on other roles. The game then continues by the two (or three) players switching roles: the victim turns into the rescuer, the rescuer switches to persecutor or the rescuer becomes a victim exclaiming: I just wanted to help! [Read more…] about Drama Triangle And How To Avoid It

6 Steps To Take When In Relationship Conflict – Relationship Wisdom

February 19, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

man and women on bed kissing — win-win in conflict

Conflict in relationship is often the pivotal point that leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction of the relationship. Let’s have a look at conflict from a different point of view to turn it into opportunity to grow and learn instead of an “I win – you loose” scenario.

Relationship purpose

The ultimate purpose of every relationship, whether it is an intimate one or not, is to enable both of you to grow personally and interpersonally. Whenever we enter into a relationship there is this meeting place of two human beings finding out something new about themselves and each other. It really is the evolution of your own consciousness as well as the consciousness of interaction at large.

Avoiding conflict

Conflict is often seen as the opposite of intimacy. The reality of “me-against-you conflict” is that it reduces the feeling of safety, ability and willingness to be vulnerable. Avoiding conflict therefore is what seems like the most logical solution.[Tweet “What if conflict was not the opposite of intimacy? “] [Read more…] about 6 Steps To Take When In Relationship Conflict – Relationship Wisdom

How To Save Time By Planning

February 12, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

inspirational quote saying same time plan ahead — …and re-work the plan regularly.

One of the key habits that successful people have is planning. It is often what unsuccessful people refuse to do. In specific they develop written plans, which has to do with working smart rather than working hard.

Why plan?

According to time management experts every hour spent developing a written plan saves anywhere from two to forty hours of carrying the plan out. Imagine the gain in productivity.[Tweet “every hour spent developing a written plan saves anywhere from two to forty hours”]

Adjusting plans

From the NASA engineers who do their amazing jobs in successfully landing vehicles on the moon we can learn that in 99% of the time they need to adjust their plans. In other words, be prepared to hit challenges or unforeseen circumstances which will affect your planning. You can either get frustrated that it did not work out as planned or, like the NASA engineers, adjust and re-plan.

Trial & learning [Read more…] about How To Save Time By Planning