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Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

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emotions/feelings

Who Is Your Spiritual Authority?

August 27, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Who decides what you believe?
Who decides what you believe?

Going through life we learn from parents, teachers, lecturers, educators, coaches, trainers, workshop leaders, religious leaders, partners, and children. Spiritual seekers often learn from gurus. But who is your spiritual authority? Who tells you what’s right and what’s wrong? What to believe and from whom? When to apply what you have learnt and why?

The good, the bad and the useless

As a child, we learn and believe our parents. As pupils, we learn from our teachers. Sadly, not all the teaching we receive is beneficial. When the teaching is received in the formative years of a child, it is often taken on before they gain the ability to decipher between good and bad. As we grow older, we hopefully become more and more equipped to differentiate between what of the learning and beliefs we want to believe and what we need to throw over board. [Tweet “Who decides what you believe?”]

Experience and perception

If you were to ask me what I believe after all that I’ve been through, [Read more…] about Who Is Your Spiritual Authority?

Filed Under: emotions/feelings, ezinearticle, self development/motivation, spirituality Tagged With: beliefs, learning, religious dogma, spiritual authority

From Depression to Suicide

August 13, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

robin_williams
Robin Williams

[Tweet “The question of theodicy: “Why do bad things happen to good people?””]Today we all heard the news of Robin Williams’ death through suicide. How sad. I do not read the news but I start my day by browsing Facebook, especially now that I’m in the last stretch of publishing my forthcoming book “Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple”. The news feed today was full of Robin Williams’ pictures, quotes, movie references… a display of people’s love and admiration for his craft and talent of having an impact on people’s lives.

Reading about his death I noticed that, unbeknownst to me, he had depression and committed suicide. I had multiple conversations with people who said things like: “He was such an inspiring character, it’s unbelievable that he was depressed” or “He was so successful, I can’t believe he committed suicide.” It’s the question of theodicy, a topic I cover in my book:

The question of theodicy

“Why do bad things happen to good people?” is the most common version of the theological question around why evil is possible in this world. Religious parents are faced with the question why a good God permits the manifestation of evil, like the death of their child. Any variation of the post-loss “why” questions can become a way of amplifying loss. According to Dr. L. Michael Hall, by focusing on getting to acceptance as quickly as possible takes the semantic power out of the “why” question. If overused, the “why” question can become a way to amplify loss. [Read more…] about From Depression to Suicide

Filed Under: emotions/feelings, grief/loss, health Tagged With: depression, robin williams, suicide

Back by Popular Demand Series: Love Language Part 2 – Quality Time

July 2, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Couple-running-on-beach
What’s the quality of your time spend with each other?

Within every language, there are many dialects. Here below you will find just a few but in the end you need to understand your spouse’s dialect.

Togetherness:

Spending time together with focused attention. What happens on an emotional level is what matters. It communicates that you care about each other, that you enjoy being with each other, that you like to do things together. [Tweet “Quality conversation focuses on what we are hearing”]

Quality conversation:

Quality conversation is sympathetic dialogue where two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feeling, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. Words of affirmation focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses on what we are hearing. [Read more…] about Back by Popular Demand Series: Love Language Part 2 – Quality Time

Filed Under: emotions/feelings, ezinearticle, love/relationship/marriage Tagged With: gary chapman, love language, relationship

Grief Reflections

June 18, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich 3 Comments

Quote-about-grief-on-background-with-pier
What do you choose?

The experience of grief is with no doubt one of the toughest life lessons you have to master. Having lost one of my twin daughters on her 3rd day, as well as my mother through suicide following her depression I speak from personal experience. Being able to accompany my daughter in her passing has been an experience that no words could do justice. The gifts unveiled have been and still are beautiful and painful alike.

The greatest teacher of all

The other day, someone asked: Who is your biggest teacher in life? Without thinking I would have to say my two daughters. The experience of giving life and observing the transition between life and death have been the deepest experiences in my life so far. Processing grief is a road frequently travelled; yet I have not met many travellers enjoying the trip. Finding new, different and meaningful perspectives is my intent and reflecting on grief has been the inevitable journey of the past 3 years.[Tweet “Why would you want to reflect on something so painful?”]

Grief Reflections

Reflecting on your journey of grief, [Read more…] about Grief Reflections

Filed Under: emotions/feelings, ezinearticle, grief/loss Tagged With: baby loss, grief, grieving process, loss, post-loss, suicide

Relationship Wisdom – Repairing Past Hurt

January 1, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Are you the caretaker of your soul's garden?
Are you the caretaker of your soul’s garden?

Whenever you find yourself in a relationship you will sooner or later undoubtedly feel hurt. When feeling hurt it is however important to gain awareness over whether this is due to a current situation only or due to accumulated unresolved hurt from your past.

Differentiating current and past

Imagine growing a garden. You plant flowers, trees and shrubs. No matter how well you water and fertilize them, they die after a while. You might investigate whether the plants died from a current problem, for example if they died because of a bug or due to sudden frost. If you encounter the same problem again and again, even after you have planted new plants, you might need to dig a bit deeper and find out whether the soil is the problem or if there is some toxic waste underground that is making the whole ground uninhabitable by plants.

When entering a new relationship we always carry some residual toxic waste with us, [Tweet “What toxic waste are you carrying over from one relationship to the next?”]which will make the ground for the new partnership shaky. In real life you will notice this ‘toxic waste’ if a recurring topic in your relationship(s) is creating havoc.

Differentiating trigger and cause

Another way to look at this is by making a distinction of trigger and cause. Some issue, remark, or situation, for example your partner stonewalling you, might trigger a certain emotional reaction in you however the cause could be lying in your unresolved childhood trauma of abandonment.

Setting healthy boundaries

In order to make yourself less sensitive to emotional reactivity, you need to clear your accumulated toxic waste in you psyche. First of all, it is about setting clear and healthy boundaries about what is appropriate and what is not. As a second step you need to look (dig deep) into potential causes for your current trigger. This is best done by talking to someone professionally trained in helping you deal with repairing and letting go of past hurt.

Conscious and unconscious causes

Some of the causes of emotional reactivity might be very obvious, like having been abandoned by your father in childhood. Other causes might lie hidden in your psyche, unconscious but still stored in your being and acting like silent saboteurs in every new relationship you enter.

Your relationship as a gift

There is nothing like intimate relationships when it comes to being emotionally triggered. The closer a person is to you, the more importance you give them, the more they will show you those places that need attention.

So the decision is yours: planting new plants, trees and shrubs or unearthing the toxic waste and getting rid of it so the next garden you plant will flourish?

Filed Under: emotions/feelings, ezinearticle, love/relationship/marriage Tagged With: past hurt, relationship hurt, trauma

I Want To Stop Feeling This Way – Wisdom On Allowing Feelings

December 16, 2013 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Show your real self
Show your real self

I have stopped counting the number of clients coming to see me asking for ways to stop feeling what they are currently emotionally experiencing. Let’s shed a bit of light on the reasons why and when it might be suggested that you actually do exactly the opposite: allowing it.[Tweet “Why not do the opposite? Allow it. “]

Emotions versus feelings

First of all, let’s make some clear distinction of terms. Feelings are what you experience in the moment. They are usually clean and fresh, like tears of joy when you attend a beautiful wedding ceremony or the sadness when hearing the news of someone’s child dying. [Read more…] about I Want To Stop Feeling This Way – Wisdom On Allowing Feelings

Filed Under: emotions/feelings, ezinearticle Tagged With: allowing emotions, dealing with emotions, emotions versus feelings

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