• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

  • Books
    • NEW BOOK! Bridging The Grief Gap
    • Amazon shop
    • eBooks (Downloads)
    • Swiss store (CH only)
      • My Account
  • Grievers/Supporters
    • Donate
    • Supporters Resources
    • Grievers Resources
    • Grieving Parents Support Network
    • Grief Quotes (Downloads)
  • Connect to Me
    • About Nathalie
    • Media Links
  • Work with Me
    • Counselling and Coaching
  • Courses
    • May We All Heal 2022 – A New Beginning
  • Blog
  • English

separation/divorce

The Pandemic of Grief and Loss

February 14, 2022 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

You and I are not as different as it might seem…

I will never forget my father’s first words on January 19th, 2012 as I finally reached him: ‘You have got to be strong now.’

I knew what he was going to say next and I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want it to become the reality we had been dreading: My mother was dead.

It was only 4,5 months after my daughters were born and the younger twin had died 3 days after birth.

By now, you might be wondering why I started this post with the statement above. Hear me out…

Have you been touched by loss?

In the past 2 years as we all dealt with the worldwide effects of a pandemic, a situation no one would have or could have imagined, we have all been touched by loss in one way or another.

From letting go of personal freedom to move to no longer being able to meet and be close with people, from losing loved ones, through separation of space, different views, ideas, or all the way to loved ones who died from Covid.

Loss upon loss

The losses that we all had to deal with or face, in one way or another, have made grief an experience closer than we might even fully realize.

  • loss of people through death
  • loss of personal freedom
  • loss of health
  • loss of income, job, career
  • loss of closeness and intimacy
  • loss of friendships
  • loss of freedom of choice
  • loss of ease with which we decided to go about our lives
  • loss of relationships
  • loss of humanity
  • loss of unity
  • loss of individuality
  • loss of trust in self, in others, in society, in …
  • loss of potential
  • loss of safety
  • loss of belonging
  • loss of connection through isolation
  • loss of clarity
  • loss of individual rights

… just to name a few.

Changes and letting go

The increase of fear and worry goes side by side with the changes we all had to go through. Changes inevitably bring emotions: some changes bring relief, others fear, uncertainty, and many if not all mean letting go of what we are or have been used to.

Letting go involves grieving what no longer is. Maybe the grief is subtle, and going under the radar of your awareness. Sometimes it shows up through physical, emotional, or cognitive symptoms such as, for example, a lack of motivation.

Are there any other kinds of losses you have experienced? I’d love to add them to the list. Share them in the comments below.

Photo Credit: Photo by Amin Moshrefi on Unsplash

Filed Under: emotions/feelings, from personal experience, grief support, grief/loss, health, mental health, separation/divorce, separation/divorce, trauma Tagged With: covid loss, loss from covid, pandemic, pandemie

Relationship Wisdom – My Partner Just Left Me

October 2, 2013 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

goodbye
Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash

Clients in relationship counselling often make appointments when their relationship life gets turned upside down following a separation. If your partner has just left you, you will most probably experience a tumultuous time trying to find your way through feelings and experiences like shock, denial, sadness, despair, trying to understand and asking why, why, why.

Shock

In many cases, especially where the separation comes as a surprise, you will experience shock and disbelief. Many of my clients describe this as a stage of huge turmoil, filled with questions of ‘why?’ and going through possible scenarios trying to make sense. Often, the situation is compounded by having to tell friends and family who are also shocked.

Differences in men and women’s experiences

From my experience working with clients I have found that in many cases men will take a while to think things through in their own head, sometimes for a long time, before telling their woman that they no longer want to be in the relationship. 95% of men do not want to hurt their woman and therefore take time until they finally open up.

Women in comparison talk more openly about their relationship dis-satisfaction, either (do you mean either?) with their female friends, their therapists and their partners. It is therefore often more an experience of shock, when a man separates from their partner than the other way around.

Who am I?

Finding your place outside of the relationship is a huge process. Many couples have had years of togetherness and become used to being part of ‘me and my husband or wife’. In many cases individuals have un-learnt to refer to themselves in any other way than as part of a couple and family. Becoming ‘single again’, especially following an unexpected separation, can be a jolt to the experience of self, having to re-learn being ‘me’ as opposed to ‘us’.

Taking time

There are various strategies to travel through the separation process. Some people keep themselves busy, some live in intense sadness and hide from the outside world. Whatever you do or don’t – take time to journey through this stage in your life. Take time and find the support you need. It might be group of friends who support you, you might find sport to be your saving activity or you might consider talking to someone not involved, like a therapist.

Whatever you choose, remember that totally avoiding dealing with the emotional aftershock is only ever a temporary solution. Often we take unresolved emotional baggage into our next relationship, so you might want to ponder your way of dealing with it.

Filed Under: grief/loss, love/relationship/marriage Tagged With: break-up, divorce, ending relationship, relationship breakup, separation

Primary Sidebar

Cart

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich