Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

grieving a child

SPECIAL Podcast Episode: Nathalie with Chris on Grief Eleven Years Later | Episode 12

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Nathalie with Chris on Grief Eleven Years Later | Episode 12

Today I speak with my ex-husband and the father of our children. We reflect on eleven years since the death of our younger twin daughter A’Mya. In doing this we are spending time speaking about her, honoring her place in our lives, and, as I’d like to see it: spending time parenting her.

Our conversation was moving and opened my eyes to parts of Chris’ grief that I wasn’t aware of.

Chris says the following about his personal experience of grief:

It is a constant thing; it never goes away. It often pops up in little moments, sometimes catches you unexpectedly and all of a sudden, it’s like: Oh, I wasn’t thinking about these things and here it is. And I think that will happen all my life. You know, there’s going to be all sorts of key moments in Ananda Mae’s life where I’ll be wondering what would have been like two of them, what would A’Mya have been like. How would she have been? I think that’s natural.

Chris Young

I, Nathalie cannot say this often enough:

I think that is so important for people to understand that this is not something that goes away. It’s just like my mother she will always be my mother and there are key moments that I miss her more and then key moments where it is less present. But this is not going to go away because she’s dead. Part of her not being here present physically is a topic, the same way as for me, for you, for Ananda Mae, it’s a topic that her sister is not growing up with her.

Nathalie Himmelrich

About this week’s guest

Chris and Nathalie are the parents of Ananda Mae and A’Mya, twin girls who do not grow up with each other. As their parents, they do their best at raising one here on earth and the other in the beyond, wherever that is.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • What we both remember from our story of loss and trauma
  • Individual differences in grieving and dealing with grief
  • Ongoing grief, what that looks like eleven years later
  • Parenting the non-physical child
  • Sibling’s grief

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Callie Hawkins on Creating a Legacy | Episode 11

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Callie Hawkins

Today I speak with Callie about the loss of her first son Coley and how she created a legacy by creating an exhibition at Present Lincoln’s Cottage in Washington, DC. Listen to Callie describing how she learned to intentionally grieve. One thing to definitely look out for in this episode is how she experiences grief loving her back. 

Callie says:

‘One thing I wish I had known was that it is still possible to have a relationship with your loved one who has died. It’s certainly not a relationship that you anticipate. It’s not the relationship that you even necessarily wanted or had dreamed of or could have imagined. It is beautiful all at the same time.’

About this week’s guest 

Callie Hawkins is a grief activist and bereaved mother whose son, Coley, died of unexplained stillbirth in February 2018 — one day after his due date. In her professional role as Director of Programming at President Lincoln’s Cottage — a historic site and museum in Washington, DC where President Abraham Lincoln and his family moved after the death of their son, Willie — Hawkins curated Reflections on Grief and Child Loss, an exhibit that connects the Lincoln family’s experience with the deaths of their children with modern families who have lost children across age and experience. Callie, her husband Jason and their living son, Fletcher, live with a deep and abiding love for Coley in the greater Washington, DC area.  

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Callie’s son Coley dying from stillbirth
  • Guilt and shame
  • Coley’s legacy
  • Grief loving me back
  • Intentional grieving
  • Exhibition at Lincoln’s Cottage

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Pinky on Creating a Legacy After the Loss of Her Son | Episode 9

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Nathalie with Pinky on Creating a Legacy After the Loss of Her Son | Episode 9

Today I speak with Pinky who lost her son due to inflammation that affected his heart when he was just a few months old. The birth and the loss of Leonardo both happened during the Covid pandemic and both Pinky and her husband understandably felt extremely isolated in their grief. Pinky dealt with her grief by joining a grief support group and seeing a therapist. Someone she had met through a group on Facebook gave her the book Surviving My First Year of Child Loss as a support resource.

Here is what Pinky shares about how reading the book affected her:

I felt like I was not alone in this journey. My feelings and my behaviours…, sometimes I thought I was crazy, but after reading the book I understood that it was pretty common, I was not crazy. I learned some very helpful coping mechanisms from parents in the book. I couldn’t find any similar resources in my native language Vietnamese.

Pinky

About this week’s guest

Huong Lan ‘Pinky’ Vu is a communications professional who has lived and worked in Vietnam, Singapore, and the US. After the passing of her first son, Leonardo Vu Massa, in October 2020, she and her husband founded the Leonardo’s Smile Fund to support orphans in the SOS Children’s Villages Vietnam. She and her sister also translated the book Surviving My First Year of Child Loss: Personal Stories From Grieving Parents into Vietnamese with the hope to help bereaved parents in Vietnam have access to this helpful resource.

Topics discussed in this episode

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Ian Weedon on the Loss of Half of the Family | Episode 8

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Ian Weedon
Ian Weedon

Today I speak with Ian Weedon who has lost half of his family in the past few years. Listen to Ian telling us how he deals with loss and trauma in his later stage of life. Together, we also explore how the loved one’s presence can be felt in very different ways, not always the way we want or expect it. Ian’s life story shows the reality of living a life after loss.

 Ian says:

Of course, my life is very different. I only have the responsibility to my daughter now I don’t have the responsibility to the other half of the family. I miss them greatly. My life is not as good without them, that’s for sure. In spite of all the work that Anne’s position entailed, I miss that. I have a lot more freedom now. But I prefer it as it was.

Ian Weedon

About this week’s guest 

Originally from South Africa, Ian has been living in Switzerland for the past 36 years. He and his late wife Anne had two amazing children. Sadly, their son Derrick was killed in a motor accident in 2013 when he was just 34. Derrick had been married for just a year before his death and subsequently, his wife sued Ian’s daughter for money. The family endured four years of hardship on top of the grief.

Ian’s wife Anne suffered from MS (multiple sclerosis) for 40 years, starting soon after they were married. Despite all the challenges, they had a wonderful life together. Anne was wheelchair-bound for eighteen years. She was first partly and for the last few years entirely dependent on Ian. Anne died in 2018. 

Ian misses both Anne and Derrick and especially their smiles and touches. Ian feels extremely lucky to still have his wonderful loving daughter.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Derrick’s traumatic loss through a car accident
  • Breaking the news to his wife and daughter
  • Anne’s life with MS and her subsequent death
  • Adjusting to life without half of his family
  • The presence of the lost loved one

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Amy Watson on Stillbirth, Miscarriage, and Pregnancy After Loss | Episode 7

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Amy Watson on Stillbirth, Miscarriage, and Pregnancy After Loss

Today I speak with Amy Watson who has experienced a stillbirth and a miscarriage. She talks about pregnancy after loss, how she struggled but also how she supported herself through the different losses. The interesting part of her story is how differently she experienced her two losses and how she managed those differences. 

Amy says:

‘I call it Radical Self-Compassion, which means you love every part of you, including the grief, including the trauma, including the mess that it at all is, because that’s the reality of being a human. We go through these hard things and even if we don’t realise it, we all have these ideas of what it’s supposed to look like and how we’re supposed to be. I mean, that kind of covers at all? It’s like an umbrella: if you’re just really kind yourself. Because sometimes we think, well, if I just love myself when I want to lay in bed, I’ll just lay in bed forever, right? I’ll never get any better. But the opposite is true because if you’re kind and you just give yourself the space to maybe sleep in a little bit, you’re probably going to process through. And end up being able to get going if you want to. Or maybe you lay in bed, and you don’t make it mean anything about you.’

About this week’s guest 

Amy Watson is a certified life and grief coach. She takes her own experiences with stillbirth, miscarriage, and pregnancy after loss and combines them with proven techniques to help moms find themselves again after loss. She shares everything she knows to help you feel more peaceful, confident, and hopeful on her podcast, Smooth Stones. Amy wants all loss parents to know that by making friends with grief, tapping into their own inner voice, and learning to truly love themselves again they will be able to have not just a life to be endured, but one that is full and beautiful. Amy is a sought-after podcast guest, and she loves sharing her story, her babies, and hope everywhere she goes.

Visit Amy here:

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Lauren’s stillbirth
  • Explaining death to Lauren’s siblings
  • Pregnancy after loss and when you know it’s the right time
  • Whom to have on your support team for pregnancy after loss
  • Firefighter and builders – read more in the book Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple by Nathalie Himmelrich
  • River’s miscarriage, complicated D&C with physical trauma
  • Difference between grieving Lauren and River
  • Grieving and faith
  • Radical self-compassion

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Kellie Sipos on Drug Abuse and Multiple Losses | Episode 6

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Today I speak with Kellie Sipos who I met as part of being a guest on her podcast, My Child Left Home for Heaven. Kellie has experienced multiple losses within her own family which started with her father’s suicide, followed by the sudden unexpected loss of her sister. In 2018 she lost her daughter Emilie through an accidental drug overdose after which Kellie candidly shares how she herself abused drugs to manage her own grief. Just a few months ago, her mother, who she cared for the last few months of her life, died too. 

‘Emilie’s grief was so on the top of my heart every single day until I lost my mom. Now it’s like the grief of my mom is shadowing over top of the grief of Emilie, and I feel really guilty. I feel like I’m not grieving her appropriately. And then I realized: No, I’m just healing. I’m starting to move on from some of that. And yes, the grief with my mom is newer but that in time will be the same way. I think maybe having to go through it again somehow helped me get over that big hurdle of Emilie.’

Kellie Sipos

About this week’s guest 

Kellie Sipos is the mother of 4 daughters who tragically lost her oldest, Emilie to an accidental drug overdose on July 22, 2018.  Since this time Kellie has tried to stay focused on making a difference in this world. Working with children and young adults with Special Needs as a therapeutic riding instructor and an equine specialist. Mental health has always been her focus but since the loss of her child she is on a new mission, starting her podcast My Child Left Home for Heaven. Being an avid podcast listener she quickly found there were not a lot of podcasts on child loss from the Moms perspective. Kellie is also the state administrator for Drug Overdose Awareness and Moms Against Drugs as well as sharing her daughter’s story in the public school system to help bring awareness to the dangers of drug use. Keeping busy, speaking out and transparency in her grief have helped her to keep the joy in her life after child loss.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The recent loss of her mother
  • Emilie, her drug addiction leading to her accidental drug overdose which killed her
  • Kellie’s granddaughter being taken away by her father after Emilie’s death
  • Drug addiction and abuse within the family and in the process of dealing with grief
  • PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) following the traumatic loss of Emilie
  • Suicide of her father, the sudden death of her sister
  • Post loss guilt and regrets
  • Compassion fatigue for therapists

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

    Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich