• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

  • Books
    • NEW BOOK! Bridging The Grief Gap
    • Shop
      • My Account
    • Amazon shop
  • About Me
    • Media Links
    • Work with Me
      • Counselling and Coaching
  • Resources
    • Courses
      • May We All Heal 2022 – A New Beginning
    • Donate
    • Grievers Support
    • Supporters Resources
    • Grieving Parents Support Network
    • Grief Quotes (Downloads)
    • Free Downloads
  • Blog
  • Podcast
    • Listen Here
    • Show Notes
  • English

break-up

Relationship Wisdom – My Partner Just Left Me

October 2, 2013 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

goodbye
Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash

Clients in relationship counselling often make appointments when their relationship life gets turned upside down following a separation. If your partner has just left you, you will most probably experience a tumultuous time trying to find your way through feelings and experiences like shock, denial, sadness, despair, trying to understand and asking why, why, why.

Shock

In many cases, especially where the separation comes as a surprise, you will experience shock and disbelief. Many of my clients describe this as a stage of huge turmoil, filled with questions of ‘why?’ and going through possible scenarios trying to make sense. Often, the situation is compounded by having to tell friends and family who are also shocked.

Differences in men and women’s experiences

From my experience working with clients I have found that in many cases men will take a while to think things through in their own head, sometimes for a long time, before telling their woman that they no longer want to be in the relationship. 95% of men do not want to hurt their woman and therefore take time until they finally open up.

Women in comparison talk more openly about their relationship dis-satisfaction, either (do you mean either?) with their female friends, their therapists and their partners. It is therefore often more an experience of shock, when a man separates from their partner than the other way around.

Who am I?

Finding your place outside of the relationship is a huge process. Many couples have had years of togetherness and become used to being part of ‘me and my husband or wife’. In many cases individuals have un-learnt to refer to themselves in any other way than as part of a couple and family. Becoming ‘single again’, especially following an unexpected separation, can be a jolt to the experience of self, having to re-learn being ‘me’ as opposed to ‘us’.

Taking time

There are various strategies to travel through the separation process. Some people keep themselves busy, some live in intense sadness and hide from the outside world. Whatever you do or don’t – take time to journey through this stage in your life. Take time and find the support you need. It might be group of friends who support you, you might find sport to be your saving activity or you might consider talking to someone not involved, like a therapist.

Whatever you choose, remember that totally avoiding dealing with the emotional aftershock is only ever a temporary solution. Often we take unresolved emotional baggage into our next relationship, so you might want to ponder your way of dealing with it.

Filed Under: grief/loss, love/relationship/marriage, separation/divorce Tagged With: break-up, divorce, ending relationship, relationship breakup, separation

Primary Sidebar

Cart

Subscribe for updates
    Built with ConvertKit
    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

    Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Affiliate Disclosure

    Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich | All Rights Reserved

    We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However you may visit Cookie Settings to provide a controlled consent.
    Cookie settingsACCEPT
    Manage consent

    Privacy Overview

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
    Necessary
    Always Enabled
    Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
    CookieDurationDescription
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
    viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
    Functional
    Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
    Performance
    Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
    Analytics
    Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
    Advertisement
    Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
    Others
    Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
    Save & Accept