“You’ve got to be strong now…” I heard my Dad’s voice as if through fog, my sister and her daughter standing behind him as they all looked at me through the computer screen, connected via FaceTime. Before he would say anymore, I knew exactly what had happened.
You Have Got To Be Strong Now Read More »
Yes, you. You change the world. Being who you are. Sharing what you feel. Being honest about your experience. Forging the way Just the other day I shared an image of myself from 15 years ago. This was way before my date with grief and loss at its core. I had my share of relationship
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When I held my daughter in my arms as she drew her last breath I knew it.When I learned that my mother had just died through suicide I knew it. I speak boldly when I say that society largely misunderstands grief. Even as a trained psychotherapist specialising in grief and relationship, I misunderstood grief. I thought
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After the death of my daughter six and a half years ago I wrote: “I will never get over this.” This still holds true to some extent. However, I’m no longer in the despair that led me to make over-generalized statements about healing and sentences that implied I had the power of premonition. Healing – no way!
Healing After Child Loss? Possible Or Impossible? Read More »
How long will I be grieving the death of my child? How long will my grief last? When will I feel better? Is there a time to grieve? Is it true that I need to ‘move on’ or ‘get over it’? What does ‘moving on’ look like?
Time To Grieve – How Long Will My Grief Last? Read More »
Comparing grief is something we all have done at some point. “But you’ve only had a miscarriage.”“I experienced the same when my grandpa died.”“My stillbirth was … in comparison to my miscarriages.”“I cannot imagine losing a teenager.” All these are comparisons: a miscarriage versus a stillbirth or neonatal death, the experience of the death of
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So many times bereaved parents hear sentences that proclaim myths about their grieving and healing. We all have heard those myths, so much so that we have come to believe many of them. So it’s no surprise we, as the bereaved, struggle with healing after loss because it’s so different than portrayed or spoken about in society.
The Healing Is In The Feeling Read More »
The holidays and especially Christmas time after a loss can be very challenging. Filled with family gatherings and wishes including words such as ‘merry’, ‘happy’ or ‘grateful’ might you want to scream and run for cover. This is where extreme self-care is required. First Christmas I remember the first Christmas time after my daughter died.
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Today is the seventh death anniversary of my daughter. As I’m typing it, I feel the strangeness of this sentence. I stop mid-sentence and find myself somewhat confused. How do I deal with something that I wish wouldn’t be real, year after year?
Death Anniversary: The Body Remembers Read More »
What is it like in the seventh year of grief? Is the grieving still there all the time? Is it gone, mostly gone, or never gone completely? My daughter A’Mya died on September 3rd, 2011, just 3 days old. In the first few months, I couldn’t see further than feeding her twin sister and getting
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