Sarah Stillman on How Dealing With Trauma Does Not Prevent But Helps Prepare For Future Trauma | Episodes 34 and 35

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HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
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Episodes 34

Episodes 35

Sarah Stillman

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Sarah Stillman, who suffered preeclampsia and concealed placental abruption which led to the stillbirth of her first son. Having been sexually assaulted earlier on in her life in a medical environment, she was very clear about needing to take charge of her medical care to avoid further traumatization. Unfortunately, the developments her pregnancy experienced leading to emergency care, resulted in her experiencing more trauma.

We had such a rich conversation that this became a double episode. Make sure you listen to the second part which is going to be published a week after this in which we dive much deeper into the topic of pregnancy after loss and how to deal with the trauma of sexual assault.     

About this week’s guest

Sarah is one of Nathaniel’s two mamas (yes, he has two moms)! Nathaniel is Sarah and Amy’s firstborn son conceived through IVF with a traumatic ending in severe early-onset preeclampsia, placental abruption, emergency C-section, a brief NICU stay, and death within his mother’s arms. Sarah took to grieving, finding out what happened, and planning for future pregnancy like a full-time job, and in the midst of the uncertainty and haze of grief, identified resources that helped answer critical questions. In honor of her son, she created whenmybabydied.com which aims to offer families a centralized resource hub of information and answers for the question no parent ever thought they’d have to find. Sarah is currently pregnant with Nathaniel’s sibling who is expected to be born in April 2023. She lives with her wife, two dogs, and Nathaniel’s warrior spirit in Central Massachusetts.

Check out Sarah’s links:

Topics discussed in this episode

Part One

  • Early miscarriage, appendicitis operation during subsequent pregnancy, preeclampsia leading to the stillbirth of her son Nathaniel
  • Prior sexual assault trauma leading to challenges in medical care during pregnancy
  • Loss and trauma
  • Secondary losses following a stillbirth

Part Two

  • Empty arm syndrome
  • Being pregnant after a stillbirth
  • Sexual assault
  • The effect of prior trauma on pregnancy
  • Grieving the loss of having planned for a healing event when it turns into a new trauma

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Ana Vick on the Importance of Stillbirth Prevention | Episode 33

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HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 

Ana Lepe Vick

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Ana Vick about the trauma of stillbirth and pregnancy loss. Ana believes in the importance of stillbirth prevention during pregnancy. Having experienced the trauma of pregnancy loss multiple times, and finding out more about Owen’s reason for death helped her move from self-blame and shame and gave her some sort of closure. This allowed Ana to turn her story into meaningful advocacy to support others not having to experience what she had.  

About this week’s guest 

Ana Lepe Vick is a maternal health advocate and stillbirth rights activist who grew up in the Bay Area and is a recent North Carolina transplant. She is a wife and mother of 3, known as Still My Son on social media where she finds support and inspiration to continue pushing for change in memory of her middle son, Owen Nathaniel, and all babies gone too soon. Owen was unexpectedly born still at almost 32 weeks of a perfect “textbook” pregnancy via crash c-section. She also suffered miscarriages before and after Owen’s death so she’s no stranger to the trauma of pregnancy loss. Although she would much rather have her son in her arms, she proudly parents Owen through her activism and role as Co-Director of Communications of PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy (a stillbirth prevention non-profit she helped found with other bereaved families in 2021). As part of the Count the Kicks Influencer Advisory Board she leads targeted efforts to outreach to Spanish-speaking communities because every parent deserves to know how to protect their baby through fetal movement education. She is the Social Media Lead for the SHINE for Autumn Act, which is a bill she hopes will be passed soon for the U.S. to start making a systemic change to prevent stillbirths. In addition, Ana is helping to spread “Womb Wisdom” through her new educational platform, Sacred Birth Circle, where she interviews maternal health experts & birthing parents to help families be better informed about their pregnancy and birth journeys. She will always wish her family could be complete, but she’s thankful she can keep her son’s memory alive while saving babies in his honor. 

Check out Ana’s links:

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The stillbirth of her son Owen 
  • The trauma of pregnancy loss
  • The importance of stillbirth prevention during pregnancy
  • Knowing the reason for Owen’s death helped Ana move from guilt and gave her some sort of closure

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Estelle Thompson on How Art and Yoga Saved My Life | Episode 32

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Estelle Thompson
Estelle Thompson

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self-funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Estelle Thompson, who has been an inspiration for me for years. We’ve met on Instagram as part of a yearly event called May We All Heal which I started in 2015 and gave grieving mothers a creative outlet and an avenue to share with others. Estelle has a way of using art and yoga in her healing journey that drew me in and it was an honor for me to be speaking with her. Here is someone who can laugh while crying, who exemplifies living with the paradox of living a creative life while holding the gift of what death has brought her.  

About this week’s guest 

Estelle Thomson, M.A. in Counselling Psychology is a leading yoga teacher and educator in the intersecting fields of expressive arts, embodied movement, and psychology. With over ten years of experience, her work explores the relationship between breath, body, emotions, imagination, and play. Estelle is a faculty member of Quantum University, internationally recognized for offering online courses and graduate degree programs in holistic, alternative, natural, and integrative medicine. Estelle leads numerous lectures, workshops, and retreats locally and internationally.

Estelle’s links: Website | Instagram

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Giving birth prematurely and the unexpected death of her son Tommy Tinker when he was just 2 years old 
  • Art and yoga saved her life
  • Writing for grief
  • Change of identity
  • How to use creativity

Resources mentioned in this episode 

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Lisa Bolton on It is Never Too Late to Mourn Your Losses | Episode 31

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Lisa Bolton
Lisa Bolton

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 

 Today on the podcast I am speaking with Lisa Bolton who experienced multiple losses in her life. She talks about dealing with loss after loss, the intense grieving bringing her to the brink of suicide, and the pivotal importance of her support system. She says: Without support, you can’t go through it. In her case, she had her church and a group of mothers who all had lost children through a drug overdose. In making her loss meaningful, Lisa beautifully describes how she allows her daughter to live through her. Another really important part of our conversation dealt with the topic of comparing losses, especially in the case of blended families dealing with losses on both sides, and the importance of relational support within the family. 

About this week’s guest 

Originally from New Jersey, Lisa now lives in Florida. After having been married for 25 years, she divorced and later remarried. She is a mother to 3 biological children, 2 stepchildren, and one foster child, but she considers them all hers. She has been an Early Childhood Administrator for almost 40 years. A few years ago, she also became a Stillbirth Doula, Support Group Facilitator, and Grief Counselor for adults, children, and adolescents. Her grief journey began 34 years ago when she lost her first-born son to a miscarriage. 30 years later she lost her rainbow baby, her beautiful 26-year-old daughter to an overdose of heroin laced with fentanyl. In between those losses, she also lost her wonderful 18-year-old stepdaughter to a rare autoimmune disease. Everything she does is in memory of her children: carrying on their legacies, making sure their names are said and their deaths are not in vain. They all mattered, and while making sure they live on she is also trying to heal her own heart while helping others to heal theirs. 

Check out Lisa’s links here: The Dandelion Project: Facebook – Email

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Multiple losses: Pregnancy loss of her son DJ, loss of her daughter in 2019 and stepdaughter in 2015
  • Dealing with the most intense days of grief, suicidal tendencies, and the vital importance of support
  • Comparing losses in a blended family situation
  • Expressive versus cognitive ways of grieving, and cultural differences in grieving
  • How to incorporate the memory of her children into her own life

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Katherine Lazar on a Mission to Help You Find Light in the Darkness after Loss | Episode 30

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HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 

Katherine Lazar

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Katherine Lazar who lost her son Brody in a late-term stillbirth just a year ago during her first pregnancy. She knew early on that she needed to speak with other moms who had experienced what she had. Katherine felt the importance of finding people that had the same grief vibe. The conversations with these women turned into her podcast At a Total Loss. From helping herself cope, the podcast was a way to reach others and helped them to cope with their losses. 

About this week’s guest 

Katherine Lazar currently lives in Atlanta, GA in the US and is married to the love of her life, Brody’s dad, Michael. When she was 37 weeks pregnant, her precious son died and was stillborn. The sorrow following his death almost killed her. Conversations with other loss moms saved her. She decided to record them and put them out for others to hear. If they helped her feel less alone, maybe they could help others. She’s so proud to have created this in Brody’s honor and to give other mothers a platform to talk about their babies. Finding my purpose has helped her in so many ways, and she is a big believer in helping others do the same with real talk and honesty about life after loss. 

They are currently expecting their second child and navigating the world of pregnancy after loss is a whole new battle. However, Katherine has spent a lot of time putting in the work with grief therapy & trauma recovery, surrounding herself with good people, having a great support system, and amazing doctors this time around. She feels ready for whatever comes her way. 

She misses her son every day and knows that she will see him again someday. Until then, she will continue to tell her story, be very open about her journey, and help other loss mothers find light in the dark.

Check out Katherine’s links here: Website | Instagram | YouTube

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Late-term stillbirth of her son Brody
  • Birth trauma
  • Finding relief in speaking with others who had experienced stillbirth
  • Helping herself cope lead to starting a podcast to help others
  • Differences in grieving: the instrumental and emotional way of grieving

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Shelby Forsythia on Mother-loss as a Young Adult | Episode 29

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Shelby Forsythia

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self-funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast here. Thank you! 

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Shelby Forsythia who lost her mother due to breast cancer following years of treatment. Shelby was just twenty-one and this traumatic experience influenced her life as a young adult. Dealing with her loss, she delved into understanding and learning about grief. 
 Later, she experienced loss again after separating from her fiancée on the same day as she lost her job. Even though Shelby was practiced at dealing with grief, it did not make the pain of grief become any easier when, on top of everything else, she then also lost her best friend, but there was more awareness of how to support herself through it.  

About Shelby, this week’s guest 

Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief guide, author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions. Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.

Check out Shelby’s links here: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The death of her mother from breast cancer, following four years of treatment
  • Family health challenges and Dad’s personality changes due to two brain aneurysms
  • Loss of faith  
  • Various ways of coping with grief: an eating disorder, delving into working, setting healthy boundaries around her grief, accepting help when offered, using her voice
  • Being guided by: Where does my grief want me to go? 
  • The loss of her fiancée, her job, and her best friend

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

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