If your relationship has deteriorated over the past weeks, months or years you might be wondering what you can do to turn the ship around. Given you are reading this article, that suggests that you have the willingness to do whatever it takes and are looking for ways to heal your relationship.
Relationships become a developmental work in progress from the day we fall out of ‘honeymoon heaven’. The honeymoon stage is where we start a relationship after the courtship. This stage is when everything is just fabulous and we think that we have finally met our dream partner… Once the rose coloured glassed fade off and reality sets in that is when the relationship with the real partner begins.
Show commitment in times of stress
It is easy to commit and promise to stay ‘in sickness and health’ when things are good, but when the relationship is under tension, that is when real commitment is needed. When relationships become weathered by criticism, frustration, hurt and arguments we have to show our commitment to our partner and the relationship by learning to better relate and by admitting that we do not always know how to react best.
Admit your mistakes
A simple yet powerful step is to admit your mistakes. If you are in an argument it will simply take the fire out of the interaction. Even if you believe that it was not totally your fault, take responsibility for your part.
Remember the reasons why you got together in the first place
In times of stress we are often on ‘negative sentiment override’, which means that whatever happens, we tend to think negatively of our partner. When that has happened you need to turn your thoughts around. Just as you can focus on the negative, you can also remind yourself of the positive aspect or possible reasons why your partner reacted that way.
Look for professional help
Couples come to couples counselling or family coaching when they are at a loss as to what to do. Remember that asking for help is in your hands and the earlier you start the better the chances for your relationship to survive the challenges and come out the other end being stronger and more determined.