authenticity

Handlettered quote by Nathalie Himmelrich

My Dear ‘Would –Be’ Child

You are my ‘would-be’ child, you who would have turned five (four | three) last week. The children from Kindergarten would have celebrated with you in the morning. The rest of our family would have visited in the afternoon. We would be singing Happy Birthday to you and you would have impatiently ripped open your presents and whooped […]

My Dear ‘Would –Be’ Child Read More »

NICU

Stop That Grieving!

Many times during the dark periods of my grieving I wished for it to stop. “I can’t take any more!”; “I hate my life,” and “I don’t want to be like that.” In one specifically dark moment I remember telling my husband: “You have the luxury to decide whether you want to stay with me

Stop That Grieving! Read More »

rose

Clearing Things

Today I stood in the garage with my Dad going through the remnants of my parents life. They have been married and together for 54 years from when they were 17 years old. My Dad tears up as he watches my Mum’s picture in what we call ‘Mum’s room’. In every little thing stored in their garage there is history, stories about all those moments they shared.

Clearing Things Read More »

beach and ocean

Sometimes I Break Down…

Sometimes I break downOut of the blueLike unexpected stormWhich hits the landFor no real apparent reason Grief kicks inAnd surprises me with its despairAnd I stand there helplesslyAs my skirt gets soaked by rain Vulnerability shows its faceThe layers of ‘I’m fine’ are wearing thinPenetrated by lonelinessI become silent My head achesFrom all those unshed

Sometimes I Break Down… Read More »

Grief – A Very Personal Experience

Today marks 2 months since Amya Mirica passed away. Yesterday Chris and I went out for the first time in the evening and left Ananda Mae with my sister. We went to the classical concert of the Brandenburg Orchestra of which we have season’s tickets. The previous concert was exactly 2 months ago, the evening

Grief – A Very Personal Experience Read More »

mural with child

My Child Died – A Conversation Stopper

Many people are lost for words when they hear me say that my child has passed away. Losing one’s own child is one of those experiences that we don’t know how to deal with – an untimely death. I want to encourage people to dare to speak to me about my child, to mention her

My Child Died – A Conversation Stopper Read More »