How do you parent a dead child? Today is the 6th birthday of my girl. But she is not here on her special day. She is dead. Every time I think about her being dead, it somehow seems unreal. My inconceivable reality. It’s as if I lack words to describe it but continuously find myself […]
The Birthday Of The Child Who Isn’t Alive Read More »
You are my ‘would-be’ child, you who would have turned five (four | three) last week. The children from Kindergarten would have celebrated with you in the morning. The rest of our family would have visited in the afternoon. We would be singing Happy Birthday to you and you would have impatiently ripped open your presents and whooped
My Dear ‘Would –Be’ Child Read More »
Today, 4 years ago was the day you lived. You were born yesterday 4 years ago – and you passed on, tomorrow 4 years ago. It’s been 4 years, not a long time and still, quite some time has passed. Certain things have changed – and some have not. I miss you – and that won’t change.
Dear Child Of Mine Read More »
Many times during the dark periods of my grieving I wished for it to stop. “I can’t take any more!”; “I hate my life,” and “I don’t want to be like that.” In one specifically dark moment I remember telling my husband: “You have the luxury to decide whether you want to stay with me
Stop That Grieving! Read More »
Not me. I became a mother and then a bereaved mother 3 days later. Raising a twinless twin meant ‘learning to be a new mother’ at the same time as ‘learning to be the mother of a dead child’. Motherhood came with sleepless nights, challenging start with breastfeeding, organizing a funeral, and turned into a
Being A Better Parent After Loss? Read More »
Today in a client’ session I heard myself say: A happy relationship with your partner might be your goal but it is not the purpose of (relationship) life. Let me explain. The journey that counts The famous quote “It’s not the destination but the journey that counts” leaves some questions unanswered: What is on the
It Is the Relationship Journey That Counts Read More »
Going through life we learn from parents, teachers, lecturers, educators, coaches, trainers, workshop leaders, religious leaders, partners, and children. Spiritual seekers often learn from gurus. But who is your spiritual authority? Who tells you what’s right and what’s wrong? What to believe and from whom? When to apply what you have learnt and why? The
Who Is Your Spiritual Authority? Read More »
Today we all heard the news of Robin Williams’ death through suicide. How sad. I do not read the news but I start my day by browsing Facebook, especially now that I’m in the last stretch of publishing my forthcoming book Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple. The news feed today was full of
From Depression to Suicide Read More »
The experience of grief is with no doubt one of the toughest life lessons you have to master. Having lost one of my twin daughters on her 3rd day, as well as my mother through suicide following her depression I speak from personal experience. Being able to accompany my daughter in her passing has been
Sitting across from my husband and our daughter, while he was reading a bedtime story to her, I was reminded that my dad was not available to me in this way when I was a child. I distinctly remember a sentence he uttered when I was nineteen: “Your mother was responsible for the love in
Healing And Re-Parenting Your Inner Child Read More »
