• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

  • Books
    • NEW BOOK! Bridging The Grief Gap
    • Shop
      • My Account
    • Amazon shop
  • About Me
    • Media Links
    • Work with Me
      • Counselling and Coaching
  • Resources
    • Courses
      • May We All Heal 2022 – A New Beginning
    • Donate
    • Grievers Support
    • Supporters Resources
    • Grieving Parents Support Network
    • Grief Quotes (Downloads)
    • Free Downloads
  • Blog
  • Podcast
    • Listen Here
    • Show Notes
  • English

suicide

Nathalie with Brooke Carlock on If This Wasn’t Enough Already | Episode 22

December 5, 2022 By Nathalie Himmelrich 2 Comments

Brooke Carlock

Today on the podcast I’m speaking with Brooke whose story could be one that movies are made of. She has experienced loss after loss culminating in a series of devastating and traumatic losses within the past 12 months. 

Listening to Brooke telling her life story is both devastating and shocking, at the same time as hope-inspiring in the way she’s living her life after loss with fierce resilience at the same time as grieving. 

She speaks candidly about the dark places she went through while grieving and how she got help when she was suicidal. 

The truth is that there are people like Brooke who have no choice but to live with multiple traumatic losses. The question is: how do we meet them? How do we enable ourselves to hold space for someone and their situation? 

Regarding the people who helped Brooke the most, she says:

I want to be strong, and I want to keep going and find meaning in things. I’m just like a go-go-go person and the most helpful thing for me was people saying: ‘Slow down and breathe. You need to feel this and not rush through it, not ignore it, not medicate it. 

Brooke Carlock

About this week’s guest 

Brooke Carlock has experienced more grief and loss in her lifetime than most. The deaths of her grandparents, sister, cousin, and sister-in-law before she turned 35, along with her extensive coursework in Human Development and Psychology, taught her the power of resilience. However, nothing would prepare her for the devastation to come in her 40s. In a span of four months, Brooke lost her father to an unexpected heart attack, her stepmother to suicide, and her beloved 10-year-old daughter, Libby, in a horrific car accident.

As a teacher and freelance writer, her daughter’s death led Brooke to relentlessly study the fields of grief, loss, trauma, and resilience in order to survive her own experiences. Currently, she is pursuing her Grief Educator certification.  

Brooke is the founder of LiveLikeLibby.org, a nonprofit organization that provides dance scholarships in her daughter’s honor, as well as the creator of Grieving Mommy, where she blogs about her experiences as a grieving mother.

Brooke’s links:

  • Grieving Mommy Website
  • YouTube 
  • Instagram 

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Loss of her favourite grandfather when Brooke was 10-year-old 
  • Loss of her sister leaving behind young children, and multiple losses in the close family
  • Divorce
  • Most recently her father (heart attack), closely followed by her stepmom (overdose) and dealing with both funeral arrangement
  • News of the terminal illness of her mother
  • Loss of her daughter Libby through a car accident
  • Dealing with the dark places in early grief and suicidal thoughts

Resources mentioned in this episode

  • Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR), here is an example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhRrXuBU8-Q

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier. 

Filed Under: podcast, child loss, emotions/feelings, grief support, grief/loss, grieving parents, parenting, partner loss Tagged With: accident, child loss, loss after loss, multiple losses, overdose, suicidal, suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts, suicide

Nathalie with Michael Gershe on the Loss of His Mother Through a Drunk Driver | Episode 17

October 31, 2022 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Michael Gershe

Michael started with loss very early in his life when his mother got killed in a car accident leaving behind two boys and their father. Michael was 8 weeks old at the time and magically recovered after having almost all the bones in his tiny body broken. 
It took Michael a big part of his life to figure out how to deal with grief, depression, and suicidal thoughts at the same time while creating a legacy by offering programs to create awareness in young people about drinking and driving.
Michael shares how working with a therapist helped him look at the ways in which he had modeled avoiding his feelings of grief and what tools supported him in overcoming his suicidal thoughts.

Michael says:

She hit me pretty hard the very first day when I was going in there thinking I’m going to talk about my aunt and my father’s death. Her first question was: hey let’s talk about your mother’s death and how that impacted all your relationships. I was like… I was stunned. I was like there’s a knockout punch. I didn’t want to talk about that even at age 47 I still didn’t want to really talk about that in-depth, but she was right, I had to.

Michael Gershe

About this week’s guest 

Michael Gershe is a survivor of a drunk driving crash that killed his mother and nearly himself when he was 8 weeks old. Despite breaking almost all his bones in the crash, he went on to become a collegiate swimmer, comedian, speaker, author, college educator, and photographer. With over 25 years of experience on stage, Michael has presented his programs at schools, colleges, military bases, courts, and even a TEDx talk.  He uses humor, audience participation, and his story for an educational and inspirational message. In 2015 he founded The Magic of Life Foundation, a non-profit organization, that helps his mission of eliminating impaired driving making communities safer, and empowering people to make better choices in life. In 2019, he published his memoir, The Magic of Life: A Son’s Story After Tragedy, Grief and a Speedo. 

His website: The Magic of Life Foundation 

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Loss of mom, father, and aunt led to the understanding of what had been modeled about dealing or not dealing with grief 
  • Suicidal thoughts, depression
  • Learning about healthy ways of grief, and anger, instead of hiding the pain
  • Drunk driving – wanting to make a difference through his programs 

Resources mentioned in this episode

  • The Magic of Life Foundation  
  • EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Filed Under: podcast, grief support, grief/loss, loss of parent, trauma Tagged With: depression, driving driving crash, drunk driving, growing up without a mother, magic of ilfe, magic of life foundation, michael gershe, mother loss, podcast, suicidal thoughts, suicide

Nathalie with Sharon Ehlers on Dealing With Suicide | Episode 13

October 3, 2022 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Sharon Ehlers Dealing with Suicide

Today Sharon Ehlers and I dive into the topic of loss by suicide. We both share how we dealt with losing close people who took their own lives. 

Sharon has lost multiple people in her life, two of which died by suicide. She shares so generously about all the tools and resources she found along her way that helped her deal with the losses after she realized that she wasn’t coping at all with the first loss of her best friend Joy. Attending to her grief and learning about death opened things for Sharon she wouldn’t want to miss and she says: 

The one thing that has changed that I wouldn’t want to miss is the fact of finding what feeds your soul. Certainly, as an intellectual person, it’s been about work all of my life and achieving to the point of craziness. And so now it’s like, what feeds your soul, and, in many cases, it may not be what you currently do. It may not be your work, maybe something else. And finding that is important.

Sharon Ehlers

About this week’s guest 

Sharon Ehlers’ grief and trauma journey began when her best friend as well as her former fiancé both died by suicide within two years of each other. Then her beloved Dad died unexpectedly from a fall. She was confused about why so many people either avoided her or didn’t want to talk about these events. Sharon tried to make sense of it all on her own, but “grief brain” made it tough to figure out what resources were available to help her. 

After years of struggling, Sharon conceptualized a multidimensional approach to grief and loss using Reiki and other spirituality-based tools. This eventually became her successful book, Grief Reiki® – An Integrated Approach to the Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Components of Grief and Loss. She also co-authored Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss by Suicide a finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Book Excellence Awards, and the Best Book Awards. 

Besides being an award-winning author, Sharon is also a Master Grief Coach Grief, Death Midwife, Reiki Master Teacher, and Medical Reiki Master. She has three beautiful children and lives in Los Angeles, CA. Her best lesson in life is: “Miracles do happen.”

Sharon’s Website: www.grief-reiki.com 

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Suicide: Sharon’s best friend Joy and ex-partner John both died by suicide
  • The death of Sharon’s father 
  • Dealing with the topic of suicide and the grief and trauma following a suicide
  • Trying to understand suicide and depression
  • ‘How did it happen?’ – the repercussions of this question 

Resources mentioned in this episode

  • Grief Education Program: The Grief Recovery Method
  • Death Midwife Program: Sacred Crossings
  • Learn More About Reiki: International Association of Reiki Practitioners
  • Medical Reiki: Medical Reiki International
  • Suicide Loss Support Group: Didi Hirsch Suicide Prevention & Counseling (Los Angeles)

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier. 

Filed Under: podcast, depression, from personal experience, grief support, grief/loss, loss of parent, mental health, partner loss Tagged With: death by suicide, death doula, depression, grief, grief and loss, grief reiki, grief support, grieving, loss, suicide

Nathalie with Kellie Sipos on Drug Abuse and Multiple Losses | Episode 6

August 1, 2022 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Today I speak with Kellie Sipos who I met as part of being a guest on her podcast, My Child Left Home for Heaven. Kellie has experienced multiple losses within her own family which started with her father’s suicide, followed by the sudden unexpected loss of her sister. In 2018 she lost her daughter Emilie through an accidental drug overdose after which Kellie candidly shares how she herself abused drugs to manage her own grief. Just a few months ago, her mother, who she cared for the last few months of her life, died too. 

‘Emilie’s grief was so on the top of my heart every single day until I lost my mom. Now it’s like the grief of my mom is shadowing over top of the grief of Emilie, and I feel really guilty. I feel like I’m not grieving her appropriately. And then I realized: No, I’m just healing. I’m starting to move on from some of that. And yes, the grief with my mom is newer but that in time will be the same way. I think maybe having to go through it again somehow helped me get over that big hurdle of Emilie.’

Kellie Sipos

About this week’s guest 

Kellie Sipos is the mother of 4 daughters who tragically lost her oldest, Emilie to an accidental drug overdose on July 22, 2018.  Since this time Kellie has tried to stay focused on making a difference in this world. Working with children and young adults with Special Needs as a therapeutic riding instructor and an equine specialist. Mental health has always been her focus but since the loss of her child she is on a new mission, starting her podcast My Child Left Home for Heaven. Being an avid podcast listener she quickly found there were not a lot of podcasts on child loss from the Moms perspective. Kellie is also the state administrator for Drug Overdose Awareness and Moms Against Drugs as well as sharing her daughter’s story in the public school system to help bring awareness to the dangers of drug use. Keeping busy, speaking out and transparency in her grief have helped her to keep the joy in her life after child loss.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The recent loss of her mother
  • Emilie, her drug addiction leading to her accidental drug overdose which killed her
  • Kellie’s granddaughter being taken away by her father after Emilie’s death
  • Drug addiction and abuse within the family and in the process of dealing with grief
  • PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) following the traumatic loss of Emilie
  • Suicide of her father, the sudden death of her sister
  • Post loss guilt and regrets
  • Compassion fatigue for therapists

Resources mentioned in this episode

  • Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple by Nathalie Himmelrich
  • Shattered by Gary Roe 

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Filed Under: podcast, child loss, emotions/feelings, grief support, grief/loss, grieving parents, health, loss of parent, parenting, trauma Tagged With: child loss, drug abuse, drug overdose, grief, grief and loss, grief support, grieving a child, grieving a parent, grieving parents, relationship, suicide

The Misunderstanding About Grief And Death

June 26, 2020 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

Image by Nathalie Himmelrich

When I held my daughter in my arms as she drew her last breath I knew it.
When I learned that my mother had just died through suicide I knew it.

I speak boldly when I say that society largely misunderstands grief. Even as a trained psychotherapist specialising in grief and relationship, I misunderstood grief. I thought I understood it, knew about it. I was mistaken. What was interesting to me was that according to my clients I was well equipped to support people through their losses even though I didn’t fully understand grief.

From the perspective of personally LIVED loss experiences, deeply inhaling the grieving process, struggling to keep up the resilience to get up every day, dealing with mundane daily tasks… I really had no idea about grieving prior to my own losses and I believe not many people do – until life shows them death.

There are many unconscious biases and grief myths that are commonly used in our everyday language (see my articles on Downton Abbey Grief Theory Part 1 here and Part 2 here) that it comes as no surprise that society BELIEVES that:

  • Grief has a set timeline and it will be ‘over’ after that time
  • ‘Keeping it together’ and ‘not losing it’, meaning to not show emotions, are desirable signs of being strong and this is how we should show up
  • Replacing what was lost will resolve the grief (like ‘have another baby’)
  • If you just do something useful (=keep yourself busy) it will be better

And, to a certain degree, we as the bereaved ourselves believe these myths which make us stuff down our emotions, pretend we don’t feel them or numb them out with all kinds of (addictive) behaviour.

EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS

Openly feeling and authentically expressing our emotions is not encouraged in our society. ‘Don’t cry’ is probably the most used sentence responsible for children from a young age learning that emotional expression is not welcome. We often get shamed, judged, critiqued or even laughed at when showing our emotions and the pain of that vulnerability makes us shut down.

MISUNDERSTANDING:

Not feeling or not expressing the feelings makes the pain go away.
Keeping yourself busy will resolve any unpleasant feelings.

GRIEF TRUTH:

When loss has touched our lives and after the shock and numbness wear off, we are often overwhelmed by emotions. We need to speak about it, often much longer than the people surrounding us can bear to listen without being emotionally affected themselves.

TIMELINE

In a recent workshop on bereavement support, I heard the presenter mention that the average time of dealing with the bereavement is 2 to 3 years when losing a parent, 5 to 7 years when losing a partner and a lifetime when losing a child. Even though these are (again) suggested timelines, he also said that we all process loss differently and therefore the time span will vary from person to person.

MISUNDERSTANDING:

Grieving is done after a certain time. Bereaved people ‘should get over’ their loss and move on with life. Time heals all wounds.

GRIEF TRUTH:

Everyone’s experience of loss is unique. Everyone’s timeframe on when they are willing and able to integrate their loss and turn their attention back to life is different. And no, the loss will never be put ‘behind’ or ‘over’ – the loss stays a part of the bereaved person’s life.
Time on its own does not simply heal all wounds.

REPLACING THE LOSS

If you lose a child, the next child will not simply fill a space. It’s not possible. The hole in a parent’s heart will not be healed by another child. A new baby does not diminish the wishes, dreams and expectations you had for the one before.

MISUNDERSTANDING:

A rainbow child will heal the loss of a lost child.

GRIEF TRUTH:

The emotions following loss are present in some form or another. It’s natural that the parents will be busy with another child and therefore have less time and space to grieve. This does not, however, mean it’s resolved.

When death visited, I knew. I knew it in my cells. Death was filling me equally with awe as it filled me with devastation. I knew that this was the single biggest emotional experience my life had trusted me with so far.

Looking back I know now that…
My soul was ready for the experience; my humanness, however, was thrown into the painful path of grief.
My soul knew I was resilient; my humanness struggled for months and years.
My soul knew its purpose and my humanness was yet to embark on the journey to find out.

Filed Under: child loss, emotions/feelings, grief/loss, grieving parents Tagged With: child loss, death taboo, dying, grief and loss, grief cliches, misunderstandings about grief, suicide, taboo

From Depression to Suicide

August 13, 2014 By Nathalie Himmelrich Leave a Comment

depression girl on chair
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Today we all heard the news of Robin Williams’ death through suicide. How sad. I do not read the news but I start my day by browsing Facebook, especially now that I’m in the last stretch of publishing my forthcoming book Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple. The news feed today was full of Robin Williams’ pictures, quotes, movie references… a display of people’s love and admiration for his craft and talent of having an impact on people’s lives.

Reading about his death I noticed that, unbeknownst to me, he had depression and committed suicide. I had multiple conversations with people who said things like: “He was such an inspiring character, it’s unbelievable that he was depressed” or “He was so successful, I can’t believe he committed suicide.” It’s the question of theodicy, a topic I cover in my book:

The question of theodicy

“Why do bad things happen to good people?” is the most common version of the theological question around why evil is possible in this world. Religious parents are faced with the question of why a good God permits the manifestation of evil, like the death of their child. Any variation of the post-loss “why” questions can become a way of amplifying loss. According to Dr L. Michael Hall, focusing on getting to acceptance as quickly as possible takes the semantic power out of the “why” question. If overused, the “why” question can become a way to amplify loss.

I just want to know why!

It is completely natural to want to make sense. Unfortunately, there is little to no chance of finding an answer that will quench the thirst for finding the answer that would explain the tragedy. In regards to suicide from depression I have personal experience through my mother’s death which apparently happened in a similar way as Robin Williams’ death.

  • People suffer depression, no matter their IQ, EQ, the success or the amount of fame, friends, status, toys, things they possess.
  • People commit suicide no matter how much they are loved, cherished, admired, known, in the public eye (or not).
  • People, suffering from depression who commit suicide have people who love them and who have told them so every day.
  • Depression is like a bottom-less cup where any love poured in evaporates, not through their ill will but because of their depression.
  • In the moment of self-chosen death, many suicide victims have tunnel vision and do not think of the people they leave behind.

I had some in-depth conversations with my mum following her first few suicide attempts. At the time I was 19 weeks pregnant and was furious that she would have me go through grief while being pregnant with the twin girls. “I just wanted to end this pain, it had nothing to do with you or anyone else” – my mother’s words when we were talking about her previous attempts. “I know grief would be hard at the beginning but it will get easier with time,” she added… I shook my head in disbelief. She must be out of her mind.

In retrospect she was ‘out-of-her-mind’ and she was able to see the bigger picture. She was right: It will get easier with time.

Filed Under: emotions/feelings, grief/loss, health Tagged With: depression, robin williams, suicide

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Cart

Subscribe for updates
    Built with ConvertKit
    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

    Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Affiliate Disclosure

    Copyright © 2012 - 2022 Nathalie Himmelrich | All Rights Reserved

    We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However you may visit Cookie Settings to provide a controlled consent.
    Cookie settingsACCEPT
    Manage consent

    Privacy Overview

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
    Necessary
    Always Enabled
    Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
    CookieDurationDescription
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
    viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
    Functional
    Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
    Performance
    Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
    Analytics
    Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
    Advertisement
    Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
    Others
    Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
    Save & Accept