Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

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From Depression to Suicide

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robin_williams
Robin Williams

[Tweet “The question of theodicy: “Why do bad things happen to good people?””]Today we all heard the news of Robin Williams’ death through suicide. How sad. I do not read the news but I start my day by browsing Facebook, especially now that I’m in the last stretch of publishing my forthcoming book “Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple”. The news feed today was full of Robin Williams’ pictures, quotes, movie references… a display of people’s love and admiration for his craft and talent of having an impact on people’s lives.

Reading about his death I noticed that, unbeknownst to me, he had depression and committed suicide. I had multiple conversations with people who said things like: “He was such an inspiring character, it’s unbelievable that he was depressed” or “He was so successful, I can’t believe he committed suicide.” It’s the question of theodicy, a topic I cover in my book:

The question of theodicy

“Why do bad things happen to good people?” is the most common version of the theological question around why evil is possible in this world. Religious parents are faced with the question why a good God permits the manifestation of evil, like the death of their child. Any variation of the post-loss “why” questions can become a way of amplifying loss. According to Dr. L. Michael Hall, by focusing on getting to acceptance as quickly as possible takes the semantic power out of the “why” question. If overused, the “why” question can become a way to amplify loss. [Read more…] about From Depression to Suicide

Grief Reflections

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What do you choose?

The experience of grief is with no doubt one of the toughest life lessons you have to master. Having lost one of my twin daughters on her 3rd day, as well as my mother through suicide following her depression I speak from personal experience. Being able to accompany my daughter in her passing has been an experience that no words could do justice. The gifts unveiled have been and still are beautiful and painful alike.

The greatest teacher of all

The other day, someone asked: Who is your biggest teacher in life? Without thinking I would have to say my two daughters. The experience of giving life and observing the transition between life and death have been the deepest experiences in my life so far. Processing grief is a road frequently travelled; yet I have not met many travellers enjoying the trip. Finding new, different and meaningful perspectives is my intent and reflecting on grief has been the inevitable journey of the past 3 years.[Tweet “Why would you want to reflect on something so painful?”]

Grief Reflections

Reflecting on your journey of grief, [Read more…] about Grief Reflections

Responding To Grief

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Lifting the Taboo around Grief
Lifting the Taboo surrounding Grief

There are lots of words written about what NOT to say in response to grief but not enough about HOW to respond to grief. This is my experience about what could help when in grief. It specifically is my experience in relation to the death of my 3-day-old baby and the suicide of my mother, it may however also be the case for other people’s grief in different circumstances.

Asking Questions

Inquire how I’m doing, what I’m feeling. Don’t tell me ‘it must be hard’ or ‘you must feel so awful’. Ask me, don’t tell me. Ask again tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Be gentle when asking, it needn’t be an interrogation.

I’m So Sorry

This is the simplest and most appropriate sentence. It bridges any ‘I don’t know what to say’ moment, any awkward silence that you might be tempted to fill with a clichés. Don’t. Just say ‘I’m sorry for your loss’.

Show You Care

The little messages ‘I’m thinking of you’ on the anniversary of my daughter’s or my mother’s death mean a lot. It doesn’t even have to be on that day only. Tell me ‘I hear you’, ‘I’ve been thinking of you’ or ‘I read your blog’. Just recently I received a touching message from someone I don’t even know telling me how much my blog touched her. She was a 38-year-old identical twin who had lost her twin sister when she was 10 days old. I never knew who my writings touch if she didn’t tell me.

Continue To Interact [Read more…] about Responding To Grief

Depression – See The Signs In A Loved One

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If you have a family member dealing with dark moods or depression but you are not sure if it is serious enough to go and look for medical help, this article will clarify your observations and help you make the right decision.

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It’s in the experience – not necessarily in the word

Depression is one of the words that have found its way out of the medical dictionary into people’s everyday language. Clinical depression is however an illness and has not much to do with feeling depressed about something which passes after a short period of time. This is an illness and has nothing to do with a character flaw or any personal faults or deficiencies.

If you want to clarify if your loved one is suffering from depression you will notice the following symptoms:

1. Loss of interest or pleasure in all activities [Read more…] about Depression – See The Signs In A Loved One