Nathalie Himmelrich

Inspiring Hope | Finding healthy ways of Grieving | Writer

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Sarah Stillman on How Dealing With Trauma Does Not Prevent But Helps Prepare For Future Trauma | Episodes 34 and 35

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HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self, funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
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Episodes 34

Episodes 35

Sarah Stillman

Today on the podcast I am speaking with Sarah Stillman, who suffered preeclampsia and concealed placental abruption which led to the stillbirth of her first son. Having been sexually assaulted earlier on in her life in a medical environment, she was very clear about needing to take charge of her medical care to avoid further traumatization. Unfortunately, the developments her pregnancy experienced leading to emergency care, resulted in her experiencing more trauma.

We had such a rich conversation that this became a double episode. Make sure you listen to the second part which is going to be published a week after this in which we dive much deeper into the topic of pregnancy after loss and how to deal with the trauma of sexual assault.     

About this week’s guest

Sarah is one of Nathaniel’s two mamas (yes, he has two moms)! Nathaniel is Sarah and Amy’s firstborn son conceived through IVF with a traumatic ending in severe early-onset preeclampsia, placental abruption, emergency C-section, a brief NICU stay, and death within his mother’s arms. Sarah took to grieving, finding out what happened, and planning for future pregnancy like a full-time job, and in the midst of the uncertainty and haze of grief, identified resources that helped answer critical questions. In honor of her son, she created whenmybabydied.com which aims to offer families a centralized resource hub of information and answers for the question no parent ever thought they’d have to find. Sarah is currently pregnant with Nathaniel’s sibling who is expected to be born in April 2023. She lives with her wife, two dogs, and Nathaniel’s warrior spirit in Central Massachusetts.

Check out Sarah’s links:

Topics discussed in this episode

Part One

  • Early miscarriage, appendicitis operation during subsequent pregnancy, preeclampsia leading to the stillbirth of her son Nathaniel
  • Prior sexual assault trauma leading to challenges in medical care during pregnancy
  • Loss and trauma
  • Secondary losses following a stillbirth

Part Two

  • Empty arm syndrome
  • Being pregnant after a stillbirth
  • Sexual assault
  • The effect of prior trauma on pregnancy
  • Grieving the loss of having planned for a healing event when it turns into a new trauma

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Nathalie with Simone Surgeoner on Loss of Significant Men | Episode 14

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Simone Surgeoner
Simone Surgeoner

Today Simone and I talk about losing the most significant men in her life. She dealt with the loss of her life partner through cancer, the sudden death of her father, and the dissolution of two marriages. After all these losses she investigated the masculine, and she found an appreciation for the male aspect in her life and in herself.  

She describes the experience of grief’s intensity in the following way:

The pain and intensity of it has not lessened in those moments. Yes, there are fewer and further between, but … it’s okay now because I know that it comes up like a huge wave and it feels so overwhelming in the moment, but I know that it’s going to leave now so it doesn’t topple me over. But I’m still always quite… It’s almost like impressed with that level of grief does not abate when it comes up.

Simone Surgeoner

About this week’s guest

Simone Surgeoner is a therapist and mentor who has helped thousands of people find their own authentic path in life.  She enjoys nothing more than exploring the depths of what it means to be human. Using herself as her own guinea pig, Simone demonstrates beingness as arising from integrity with one’s essence. Helping people find their inner truth, through their own direct experience, is the core of Simone’s work. 

Simone’s website: www.saksana.com.au 

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Loss of life partner
  • Loss of her father
  • Loss of relationships, divorce
  • Loss of a lifestyle, home, relationships, values, dreams, identity, religion
  • Supporting children who lost their father
  • Child’s experience of grief
  • Giving herself a full year of grief

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you. Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Pinky on Creating a Legacy After the Loss of Her Son | Episode 9

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Nathalie with Pinky on Creating a Legacy After the Loss of Her Son | Episode 9

Today I speak with Pinky who lost her son due to inflammation that affected his heart when he was just a few months old. The birth and the loss of Leonardo both happened during the Covid pandemic and both Pinky and her husband understandably felt extremely isolated in their grief. Pinky dealt with her grief by joining a grief support group and seeing a therapist. Someone she had met through a group on Facebook gave her the book Surviving My First Year of Child Loss as a support resource.

Here is what Pinky shares about how reading the book affected her:

I felt like I was not alone in this journey. My feelings and my behaviours…, sometimes I thought I was crazy, but after reading the book I understood that it was pretty common, I was not crazy. I learned some very helpful coping mechanisms from parents in the book. I couldn’t find any similar resources in my native language Vietnamese.

Pinky

About this week’s guest

Huong Lan ‘Pinky’ Vu is a communications professional who has lived and worked in Vietnam, Singapore, and the US. After the passing of her first son, Leonardo Vu Massa, in October 2020, she and her husband founded the Leonardo’s Smile Fund to support orphans in the SOS Children’s Villages Vietnam. She and her sister also translated the book Surviving My First Year of Child Loss: Personal Stories From Grieving Parents into Vietnamese with the hope to help bereaved parents in Vietnam have access to this helpful resource.

Topics discussed in this episode

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Ian Weedon on the Loss of Half of the Family | Episode 8

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Ian Weedon
Ian Weedon

Today I speak with Ian Weedon who has lost half of his family in the past few years. Listen to Ian telling us how he deals with loss and trauma in his later stage of life. Together, we also explore how the loved one’s presence can be felt in very different ways, not always the way we want or expect it. Ian’s life story shows the reality of living a life after loss.

 Ian says:

Of course, my life is very different. I only have the responsibility to my daughter now I don’t have the responsibility to the other half of the family. I miss them greatly. My life is not as good without them, that’s for sure. In spite of all the work that Anne’s position entailed, I miss that. I have a lot more freedom now. But I prefer it as it was.

Ian Weedon

About this week’s guest 

Originally from South Africa, Ian has been living in Switzerland for the past 36 years. He and his late wife Anne had two amazing children. Sadly, their son Derrick was killed in a motor accident in 2013 when he was just 34. Derrick had been married for just a year before his death and subsequently, his wife sued Ian’s daughter for money. The family endured four years of hardship on top of the grief.

Ian’s wife Anne suffered from MS (multiple sclerosis) for 40 years, starting soon after they were married. Despite all the challenges, they had a wonderful life together. Anne was wheelchair-bound for eighteen years. She was first partly and for the last few years entirely dependent on Ian. Anne died in 2018. 

Ian misses both Anne and Derrick and especially their smiles and touches. Ian feels extremely lucky to still have his wonderful loving daughter.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • Derrick’s traumatic loss through a car accident
  • Breaking the news to his wife and daughter
  • Anne’s life with MS and her subsequent death
  • Adjusting to life without half of his family
  • The presence of the lost loved one

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

Nathalie with Kellie Sipos on Drug Abuse and Multiple Losses | Episode 6

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Today I speak with Kellie Sipos who I met as part of being a guest on her podcast, My Child Left Home for Heaven. Kellie has experienced multiple losses within her own family which started with her father’s suicide, followed by the sudden unexpected loss of her sister. In 2018 she lost her daughter Emilie through an accidental drug overdose after which Kellie candidly shares how she herself abused drugs to manage her own grief. Just a few months ago, her mother, who she cared for the last few months of her life, died too. 

‘Emilie’s grief was so on the top of my heart every single day until I lost my mom. Now it’s like the grief of my mom is shadowing over top of the grief of Emilie, and I feel really guilty. I feel like I’m not grieving her appropriately. And then I realized: No, I’m just healing. I’m starting to move on from some of that. And yes, the grief with my mom is newer but that in time will be the same way. I think maybe having to go through it again somehow helped me get over that big hurdle of Emilie.’

Kellie Sipos

About this week’s guest 

Kellie Sipos is the mother of 4 daughters who tragically lost her oldest, Emilie to an accidental drug overdose on July 22, 2018.  Since this time Kellie has tried to stay focused on making a difference in this world. Working with children and young adults with Special Needs as a therapeutic riding instructor and an equine specialist. Mental health has always been her focus but since the loss of her child she is on a new mission, starting her podcast My Child Left Home for Heaven. Being an avid podcast listener she quickly found there were not a lot of podcasts on child loss from the Moms perspective. Kellie is also the state administrator for Drug Overdose Awareness and Moms Against Drugs as well as sharing her daughter’s story in the public school system to help bring awareness to the dangers of drug use. Keeping busy, speaking out and transparency in her grief have helped her to keep the joy in her life after child loss.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The recent loss of her mother
  • Emilie, her drug addiction leading to her accidental drug overdose which killed her
  • Kellie’s granddaughter being taken away by her father after Emilie’s death
  • Drug addiction and abuse within the family and in the process of dealing with grief
  • PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) following the traumatic loss of Emilie
  • Suicide of her father, the sudden death of her sister
  • Post loss guilt and regrets
  • Compassion fatigue for therapists

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Nathalie with Domenique Rice on Unapologetically Grieving Out Loud | Episode 5

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Today I speak with Domenique Rice who I have come to know as part of the Instagram community of bereaved parents supporting one another in the Grieving Parents Support Network. People come and go in this community, but Domenique has stayed actively involved and developed a voice to be noticed creating stillbirth awareness in honour of her son TJ.

‘I need to parent my son and honour where I’m at. So that’s the evolution, once again of the ‘stillbirth-Mama-fighting-for light’ and how I really transitioned my grief in my reality to be unapologetic and I say that quite often: unapologetic grief. It has taken me time, but I can’t sugar-coat once again my reality. I can’t water myself down.’

Domenique Rice

About this week’s guest 

Domenique Rice wears many hats – staunch activist, laid-back California transplant, savvy Brooklyn girl, superstar salesperson – but her most important role is that of (bereaved) mother of five. Domenique never had any reason to suspect that something was amiss in her second pregnancy, at least, not until it was already too late. Like most parents, stillbirth and preventative measures were never discussed with Domenique, leaving her completely blindsided when at 36.5 weeks pregnant she unexpectedly went into labor and her second child and first son, TJ, was born still.

In between her morning “TJ coffee” where she holds space each day for her son, rocking a successful sales career, and loving on TJ’s living siblings, Domenique is passionate about sharing her stillborn son, creating stillbirth and child death awareness, and connecting with other bereaved families to support them in their nontraditional parenthood. Grief is not something that parents should need to hide. Stillbirth affects over 23,000 families each year, and Domenique is not willing to stand by while any of them are silenced for one moment longer. 

Feel free to connect with Domenique on her well-regarded Instagram account, @stillbirthmamafightingforlight, where she is actively breaking down stigma and dropping knowledge to prevent stillbirths from happening.

Topics discussed in this episode

  • The death of her son TJ, Terrance Christopher Rice
  • Unapologetically grieving out loud and the love for TJ
  • How to parent a dead child?
  • Using social media (IG) to talk openly and connect to other like-minded people
  • Differences in grieving between partners and how to support one another

Resources mentioned in this episode

Links

–> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website. 

–> Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

–> Join the podcast’s Instagram page.

Thanks for listening to HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA. If you’d like to be updated on future episodes, please subscribe to my newsletter on Nathalie Himmelrich.com

If you need grief support, please contact me for a FREE 30 min discovery session.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is produced and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich. 

Support this Podcast

To support this podcast, please rate, review, subscribe to, or follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

Remember to keep breathing, I promise, it will get easier.

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    Nathalie Himmelrich

    I accompany people therapeutically as a holistic counsellor and coach.

    I walk alongside people dealing with the challenges presented by life and death.

    I’m also a writer and published author of multiple grief resource books and the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network.

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